50 Shades of Confused
by Ana810D
Summary: After CG freaked over Ana's pregnancy, Jack found a chance to intervene. He convinced Ana that CG was evil and would never give up Elena. Then Hyde drugged her and they left town to start a new life together. On the wrong side of the tracks. CG's been looking for her and may need to use his sexpertise to awaken Ana's memory when he finds her.
1. Chapter 1: Lost and Found

**50 Shades of Confused**

Ch. 1 Lost and Found

**CG'S POV**

I awakened to the sound of my smartphone playing the morose refrain from Carmina Burana. There's nothing like an ominous medieval chant to get my miserable consciousness up and reluctantly functioning again. That's the sort of music that mirrors my mood these days. Also, I see that rain's pouring down on my balcony like a flimsy white curtain. Figures.

I haven't felt motivated since Ana was taken from me by that perverted, psycho madman. He's otherwise known as Jack Hyde. Who knows what's become of both parties since they disappeared from my world one year ago today? We've been searching for her ever since. They appear to have vanished.

"What is it, Jason?" The sound of my own defeated and irritated voice doesn't surprise me. It's become the norm for the past nine months. That is, after I gave up hope that we'd ever find my love alive.

"I think we've finally got a lead on where Ana's been this year. She's okay. Welch was even able to get a few pictures. They're together."

I nearly go into cardiac arrest at the information he's just given me. That's a lot of data to process just moments after I'd awakened from my recurrent nightmare.

But it gets my attention and fires my sluggish synapses like nothing else could possibly do. I sit up against my padded red headboard. I'm spinning from the emotional shock of what he's told me. For the first time in a year, I've come to my senses. There's a warmth in the core of my very being that started igniting again. There's no doubt that it's love and it's starting to bloom again. My heart's beating out a staccato rhythm like the drum beat from the song Radioactive. Maybe I've become irradiated just thinking about Anastasia again.

"Them, who's them?"

"Jack Hyde and Anastasia." Taylor's voice rasps out the dreaded names. My breathing nearly stops.

"Send me the photos first. Then give me their location. I'm going to confront them myself."

"Sir. I don't think that's a wise plan. It could be a trap. Hyde must know we're still looking for them."

"I don't give a flying fuck what he thinks. If she's with him, I want to know if it's voluntary."

I know I was an ass when Anastasia announced that I'd gotten her pregnant. Just the fact that I'd run out, gotten drunk and then confided in Elena about the whole mess gives me the deepest sense of shame I've ever felt. But I had no intention of walking away from her or us. I was simply in shock.

She obviously didn't understand my crazed response. No wonder she demanded millions of dollars from me and then just disappeared with her lunatic of an ex-boss. I drove her to it, I guess.

But I also know she detested Hyde. He was a lecherous creep to her at work. It doesn't add up. Never did.

Was I such a monster to Ana that she preferred his filthy paws on her body and in her life? I can't believe it. I have to hear the story from her own lips before I'll give in and let her go. I know in her heart and body that she truly loves me. We're bonded for life. There's another side to this story and I will uncover the truth.

I quickly retrieve my text message with the photos from Welch. They're a bit blurry but there's no doubt it's Ana I see walking next to Jack. She looks different though. For one, her face looks as though she's in a trance. I don't see any happiness there. Two, she's put on weight. A lot of weight. What the hell has that asshole done to my woman? Maybe he's stuffed her with psychedelic brownies.

On the other hand, Jack's also been transformed. He's wearing baggy pants, dark hipster eyeglass frames and has a full grown beard. The bastard's also got his arm around Anastasia's shoulders in a protective gesture. Why the hell is he shepherding my wife around as though she's a lost child?

My emotions run the gamut from the darkest despair to radiant hope and raging anger. But, if Ana's alive, why hasn't she even attempted to contact me? Maybe he's holding her prisoner. Making threats. Although, she doesn't look like she's shackled in any way. I run my hands through my hair repeatedly and then cover my face with my hands for a full minute before I read the text message Welch sent me.

"I found them wandering around the Gaslamp Quarter in San Diego."

I call him immediately. "Did you discover where he's keeping her?"

"No sir. I just happened to notice her hair and the way she pulls it back into a ponytail. It was your wife, there's no doubt."

"I assume you followed them for a while."

"I did but then lost them in the teeming crowd that night. I saw them together for just a second. They melted into a post-game baseball revelry in a flash. The scene in that area's very active with nightlife."

"What was their interaction like? Did she seem to be involved with Hyde?"

"Hard to say. He was holding on to her. She didn't seem to object, if that's what you mean." Welch dropped his voice and gave a gruff embarrassed huff then.

For a moment, I'm so stunned that I cannot even speak. The warmth in my center has just turned stone cold. Anastasia left me to start a new life with that jerk? What if they're sleeping together? Please, no. If so, I'm such a major fuck up, I deserve to die.

Then I remember how Ana kicked Hyde in the balls at work when he made a play for her. She doesn't want him. I know that in my soul. Something bizarre must have happened to my woman. He's probably got her drugged and filled her head with lies.

"Find out where they live. What they do. I want you to scour that neighborhood for Jack and my wife."

"Yes, sir. I'll get a team of investigators on it, pronto."

"Spare no expense. At the least, I want to speak with her. Got it?"

"Sir…maybe Jason Taylor should talk with her first. You know, it could get very explosive with you there." He spoke with caution and restraint.

"Hell no. Ana's still my wife and I want to hear her story. Just get her alone and away from the psycho."

"We'll start with that East Village area of San Diego. Let's hope they're living nearby."

I sucked in a painful breath at the very idea that the love of my life is now spending time with my nemesis from childhood. I hope she remembers that he sabotaged my helicopter as well as my place of employment.

For just a second, I flash on a memory of Ana with my Echo Charlie balloon. For the first time in a year, my lips actually perk up into a smile. I'm starting to unthaw again, inside. What I wouldn't give to time travel right now.

The next call I make goes immediately to the voice mail of my private pilot. I'm going to go down to San Diego and find her myself. There's no way I'd be able to concentrate on flying a jet alone though. Not in my current convoluted state of distress over Anastasia. We're attracted to one another like magnets. I'll woo her back to me and we'll be a team again. I desperately need another chance with the only woman who really makes me whole. In all the right ways. We fit together perfectly. She's my life; always will be.

The first few days spent hanging out in the Gaslamp Quarter proved fruitless. I wore a disguise that consisted of an old brown felt fedora that I'd bought at a used clothing store and a pair of tan overalls. I also added a pair of horned rimmed glasses and some ancient converse tie ups. They smelled.

Welch contacted every Private Investigator he knew in the area. At least the good ones. His investigative team used face recognition software to check out their images on the internet but came up empty, at first. It's not like Jack or Ana were going to be using Facebook or Twitter, anyway.

Then, I got the genius idea of checking on the video images at banks. Taylor illegally tapped into several bank databases. We got lucky with a Credit Union account under the name of "Jake" Hyde. His assets were meager. The affiliated photo confirmed that he was our man. Obtaining his address after that connection proved easier than tempting a guard dog at a junk yard with a juicy steak.

He lived in a cheap loft just three blocks from the trolley station in that section of San Diego. Seedy wouldn't even begin to describe his 'hood.

We tracked him day and night for a 48 hour period. Ana was never seen with him those days. We figured she'd be hanging out in his loft or maybe was being held nearby. It seemed good old Jack actually had a job in the seaport area of town. It also turned out that he worked as a longshoreman on the docks doing back breaking labor. Our plan involved getting inside his loft when "Jake" was busy working to unload the container ships from China. They jammed the West coast ports these days.

What kind of low life existence was my angel living now? She'd had the best of everything with me. I couldn't fathom that she'd find her current situation preferable to all that we shared together. Maybe she detested me and everything I represented now. On the other hand, she could have been brain washed or even had some cognitive damage for all I knew. We were going to find out soon.

Jason knocked loudly on the sliding wooden panel that functioned as their front door, first. No one answered and we didn't expect they would. Ana probably knew I'd be looking for her, forever. Perhaps she was hiding inside. Taylor easily picked the lock on their loft. After a thorough but quick look around, we determined that no one was home. Where did that monster keep my wife?

However, the evidence clearly pointed to the presence of a woman in the loft. There were two toothbrushes hanging in their disgusting pit of a bathroom. Their white pedestal sink was chipped in several places and filthy with rust. The 1920's style of small, black and white octagonal ceramic floor tiles hadn't been cleaned in a while and hair stuck to it, especially near the area by the mirror. My Ana had so much hair.

I picked up a hairbrush. I knew it was Ana's the moment I smelled it. I held it to my nose and breathed her in. My love was really alive. It filled me with so much hope I was about to burst. My core was heating up again from her scent alone. Long dark hairs filled the bristles to the hilt. I took a sample and put it in my pocket. That was so unlike the woman I loved. She'd be the first to clean the hairs from her brush with a comb on a daily basis, when we were together.

My heart began to sink as we looked through their few personal items. A few old tee shirts and several baggy pairs of jeans hung in a small closet area. It seemed they shared a broken down queen sized mattress, since that was the only bed in the loft. I was sick at the idea of what Jack had probably been doing with her. Damn him.

Her clothes were several sizes larger than what she'd worn with me. At least she was eating and had a good appetite these days. I smelled her tee shirts with nothing but desire. She still had that alluring scent, thank goodness. But, seriously, to have put on fifty pounds seemed extreme. Maybe it was all part of her new life and a disguise. Perhaps it was a sign that she was miserable without me.

We took pictures of everything. All the documents we could find were carefully captured and then organized on our digital files by their location in the loft. From what we could tell, Ana didn't have a job. We still had no idea where the five million dollars was stashed. Where was she during the day, then?

I was the one who thought to look for her either in an old bookstore or at the library. The library wasn't her choice it seemed. Not a sign of her anywhere near the nineteenth century British novels. So Taylor, Welch and Sawyer staked out the nearest moldy old bookstore. It also sold vintage clothing. The place looked dark and had ancient incandescent bulbs hanging from the ceiling from wires, without any shades to protect them.

We hit pay dirt immediately. Taylor entered first, nodded at the clerk and looked carefully around. He found my woman reading quietly in an obscure corner at the back of the store. She was really alive and still interested in books. I took that as a good sign. Jack hadn't changed some of her most beloved hobbies. Jason took photos and sent them to me via text. He bought a book on military strategies.

Ana didn't ever bother looking around at the sound of the door opening. She seemed more than obsessed with her novel. She was sitting in the corner reading a very used book with a faded red cover and an overworked spine. The name of the novel was Tess of the D'Urberville's. Tears filled my eyes when I saw the title. It took all my strength to resist going into that bookstore and pulling her into my arms with a heartfelt kiss.

I waited outside in the SUV for a while and looked over the photos that were being sent to my smartphone on a regular basis by Jason. She still looked perfect to me with that gorgeous dark hair, light skin and that amazing face. I realized that she must have been thinking of me at least. It was too much of a coincidence that my girl was reading the same book I sent her as a gift a couple of years ago. It was just after we first met. Maybe she missed me and us. I couldn't resist her anymore.

I knew I had to approach her carefully though. I wore my typical disguise and greeted the mousey middle aged but clueless bookstore owner with a curt nod and cursory smile. He asked if he could help me with anything but I nodded no. I slowly but quietly made my way to Ana's corner. Along the way, I picked up a few old books and leafed through them indifferently. I'd buy a few just to make the owner happy.

The plan was to sit down near my girl and ask if we might speak. At least she could do me the courtesy of explaining herself. I wouldn't leave her alone until she told me to fuck off and meant it. Really meant it. I just had to know why she'd picked a life with Jack, over me.

We'd been so very much in love, once. She'd been pregnant with our child, once. The connection we'd had was more than profound. It was earthshaking. There was no evidence in the loft of any child though. Maybe Ana had miscarried. The possibility of another outcome sent a chill through me that I couldn't shake. I couldn't think about that anymore though since I was now on the most important mission of my life.

There was a second cane backed chair at the wobbly old card table where she read. I cleared my throat and started to sit down. She looked up at me briefly. There was a look of consternation and then fear on her face. She also seemed dazed and confused.

"Can we talk, Ana? I just want to know why you left. I promise." My voice sounded raspy. I was shaking life a leaf. If I didn't play my cards just right, she'd slip through my fingers again and I'd lose her forever. I put on my best game face and persisted with my goal.

"Excuse me? Who are you?" There was no look of recognition on her sweet face. In fact, her eyes looked dull and pained. They were still that marvelous shade of sky blue but the spark that I'd known and come to love was gone. My poor baby.

I thought she might have been mystified by my disguise so I slowly removed my glasses and the fedora. Then I smiled at her with all the love that I could muster displayed by my eyes, lips and expression.

She looked at me and gulped. "Get out of here or I'll scream, mister. I know who you are. You're very bad news. Leave me alone." Her words stung me to the core but they didn't match the look in her eyes.

I stood and backed up a few inches but just stared at her. Something was wrong with my Ana. Her posture, voice and facial expressions were different. Her mind was not the same. But I saw a glint of something familiar in her baby blues at last.

"I'm your husband and I love you. You love me. I just want to talk, baby." I was pleading and desperate by now. I wanted her back with everything in me. I became determined to make that happen. I didn't care that Jack had messed with her body and mind in a profound way. I'd hire the best psychotherapists and drug specialists in the country for rehab then find a top-notch female coach and trainer to get her in shape again.

"No. You are rotten." This Ana didn't sound like the bright and intelligent young woman I'd fallen in love with. She looked and talked like someone much older. This being who was still my wife was worn out and beaten down. Her edge was gone. I suspected more than drugs now.

"What's my name?" I nearly shouted out my question and felt the breath leave me as I did.

She didn't answer right away and seemed to have difficulty concentrating. It was with great effort that she finally came up with an answer. There was pain in her eyes too.

"Your name is…Christian. Christian T. Grey." Her voice was almost a whisper and she gave the answer as if she'd been coached.

"Good. That's a start. And you are Anastasia Grey. My wife." I put as much conviction in my statement as possible. Then I smiled again. My megawatt, dazzling smile. That always brought her around in the past. She couldn't resist my smile. I'd thought of holding out my hand to her but realized it might threaten her. I didn't want to unbalance her precarious psychological state.

"No…You ruined my life. I hate you." The words slipped easily from her lips but there was no power behind them. Ana's voice wasn't filled with conviction. In fact, it was flat and hard. She was going through the motions. That gave me some hope. Had she been hypnotized?

It felt as though I'd been punched in the gut to hear her words, nonetheless. I could hardly believe that our passionate love for one another had been so easily wiped from her memory. Somewhere, deep inside, she still loved me. I had to reach her, somehow and some way. We would connect, I told myself.

"Do you really hate me? Tell me why." I could hardly get the words out. Had my reaction to her pregnancy actually reduced her to this? Life as an addict and living with scum?

"You know why. And I don't want to speak of it." Her face looked like a mask now but I noticed that her lips were trembling again.

I snorted with disbelief. I needed to get a strong reaction from her before I'd ever give up.

"You mean our baby? What happened to it?"

"What baby? I never had a baby!" She made a dismissive sound as though spitting. But her lips were quivering much more noticeably. Ana also turned more pale than the white boards at schools. Her mouth and eyes were tightly pinched. She pushed away some dark hair near her face that blocked her vision. I was getting to her at last. I just needed a little more time.

"You remember, little blip, right?" My heart twisted with the memory of her pregnancy revelation. She'd been so overwrought at the very idea of telling me about our baby. She'd wanted our child so much. And, I'd been such a jerk about my reaction. Getting drunk and letting Elena make a pass at me, didn't help.

But that was because it was only innocent and lovely Ana that I wanted and needed in my life. All to myself. I was convinced that I'd be a terrible father, given the horrific abuse I'd endured as a child. How I wish we'd had that child now. Jack could have never intervened in our love then. That must have broken her. I'd love to know what Mr. Scumbag told her or did to her to end the pregnancy.

She stood then and quietly turned her back on me. Very slowly, my broken girl slumped her way toward the door. I followed her like a dog in heat. I had an impulse to grab my wife and force her into the SUV. I was sure she didn't have the will or power to resist. But I also didn't want to traumatize her any further.

I couldn't force this reconciliation on her. Not in her current dazed state. Using muscle wouldn't help. Not if she really hated me. I realized that in the few minutes we had left, I needed to find another way into her muddled brain. I felt desperate. Then I had an insight that took me all the way back to the beginning of our love affair.

"Can I buy you some tea? Some English breakfast tea with a muffin?" I asked very gently and with every ounce of restraint I could muster.

At that, she turned and gave me a brief nod of her head. I'd triggered something in that fogged up brain of hers. I was hoping the tea was the key to her memory and our future. At last I was getting somewhere.

**AN: What do you think happened to Ana? Is she lost to him forever? How can CG win her back, if at all? **


	2. Chapter 2: Tea for Two

**Ch. 2 Tea for Two**

I quietly led Ana to a dingy storefront café only steps away from the bookstore. It advertised breakfast and lunch only. The shingle outside hung unevenly and displayed the name of the place. Brunch Time, it read. The name alone sounded like something from 1972.

I shook my head with a bit of irony. I'd never set foot in a dive like this, if I'd had the choice. It was in a neglected part of the East Village but I figured this was the sort of place she expected. Perhaps she had even come here for comfort each day, after her time spent in the shop was over. At the moment, it felt like the Ritz because I was finally going to spend time with the love of my life.

For just a second, I imagined living her life. On her side of the tracks. We'd spend our days asking people for spare change or eating garbage from the bins behind the many restaurants at the entry to the Gaslamp Quarter. Maybe we'd even read and sleep in the park during the afternoon. I noticed that Ana clutched her copy of Tess to her chest in a protective manner. I chuckled at the way she seemed to both value it and use it as a shield. I assumed her behavior symbolized how she felt about me now.

Once we were seated in a small booth toward the side of the room, I ordered English Breakfast tea for her and a latte for myself. The cheapo place only carried Lipton but she didn't seem to mind. My plan was all designed to trigger her memory pathways. I needed to pull her mind out of the morass it was buried in.

I asked if she wanted anything more but she shook her head and then dropped her eyes from mine. I stared at her for a full minute before speaking. I remembered kissing those luscious lips with such enthusiasm on so many occasions. They were now thin and dry. A hustler was sucking on them these days. It looked like they'd been vacuumed of all life.

Now that I was actually face to face with Anastasia, I could hardly control my impulse to pull her into my arms and lose myself in her caress. There was no way I'd let her out of my control again, even if the road ahead looked uncertain. We were meant to be together and I was determined to see it through. I didn't realize until I looked into her beautiful face how much I'd missed our bond. I felt better at the moment than I'd been all year. Her presence before me felt like a drug and I had to consume it.

"Have you had any breakfast, Ana?" My question sounded like I'd become a social worker from the local food kitchen. Then I remembered, too late, that she didn't like to be pestered about food. I chastised myself for a minute before refocusing on the goal before us. I wanted her back and I wanted her healthy. I needed her by my side again. Every night.

What I intended to do was buy her a meal at one of the best restaurants around. That would be George's at the Cove; at least according to San Diego Magazine. Then I'd find a place for her at the Bayshore condominiums. The swanky apartments overlooked the ocean near the Italian section of town and were the hottest real estate development in San Diego. I could easily pick one up for a little over a million. Maybe I'd move in there with her and we'd get reacquainted.

My favorite body part actually twitched at the thought. Oh yes. Her scent was magic. I had the overwhelming desire to pull her in and smell her long, beautiful, wild hair. That part of her was unchanged. My fingers actually tingled.

Then my mind started to conjure up images of us naked and entwined in each other's arms. How I loved to bury myself in her. Waking up wrapped around Ana was the best part of every day. She was the only person who ever really called to me on a primal level. But I just couldn't go there now. If I did, I'd start having a panic attack.

I focused on my strategy for reawakening my woman's memory of the past. I decided to keep things upbeat. I'd have to work on triggering memories from various parts of her brain. I knew from my college courses that music and images were stored in cranial areas outside of the language centers in the cortex. Instead of thinking about the end of our relationship, I intended to remind her of the beginning; when everything was new and exciting.

I started with a suggestion. "Let's listen to some music." I didn't wait for her to respond. Instead I scrolled to my IPod App and selected a piece by Bach. It was a transcription he'd done of an oboe composition by Marcello. I'd played this piece for her after the very first time we'd made love. She seemed entranced by it and by my performance, at the time.

I think what hooked her on me was the sympathy she had for my angst over my abusive childhood. My mother was a hooker whose pimp abused me. She died from an overdose when I was only four. I'd been neglected and starved for years. I couldn't speak of it for ages.

We both listened to the music for a moment. She took a sip of her bitter tea and then slowly tilted her downcast head up to mine. "It's sad. Too sad."

"Yes. I played it for you once on my piano."

She said nothing but simply stared at my hands. Finally, she stared into my eyes. Then she looked right through me. I smiled tentatively at Ana with what I hoped was encouragement on my face. Nothing sparked in hers. She wasn't being cooperative. She must really hate me.

"Would you like a taste of my blueberry muffin?" I tried to tempt her to share some of my dried out food. These muffins were a few days old. They were subpar, at best. She nodded her head dismissively. I smirked. Who could blame her for turning down this crap?

"Tell me about your book then," I suggested. I put a sexy smirk on my lips. One that I knew she liked. There was only heartbreak in my chest however.

"It's about a young girl whose life was ruined. By two men." Her voice hinted at just a bit of emotion. It sounded like despair. She talked in whole sentences now. I took that as a positive sign.

"Where did you get this book?"

"It was a gift, I think." She seemed tentative and uncertain about its origin. Tears stung my eyes. I'd actually bought her three versions of the novel. They'd been expensive first editions that I spent hours bidding for on Ebay. Who knows where the others were now. Maybe the psycho had sold them for some drug money.

I realized at that moment that she really hadn't been thinking of me while reading Tess after all. She'd been contemplating her own fate at the hands of two very different men. In the book, one man was wealthy and he exploited Tess. The other was an idealist who at first put her on a pedestal and then judged her harshly. The poor woman couldn't win.

It was time to change the topic. That is, before I couldn't take it anymore. The atmosphere became charged with frustration. Nothing was going according to plan. "I want to show you some of my pictures."

Her eyes lit up for a moment. "OK."

The one I selected on my smartphone was of the glider I'd taken her on in Georgia. The first image was of the plane itself, before we'd had our adventure. That was the first time I realized that I loved Ana; her energy, enthusiasm and adorable face.

"Does this look like something you did once?" I was trying to coax a very good memory from her brain. We'd both had such a blast that day.

"Maybe." She looked mildly impressed but I didn't see anything important register on her face. The eyes were hooded and looked dead.

"You were there. See?" I didn't wait for Ana to reply but simply scrolled to a picture of the two of us outside of the vehicle. That was taken just before we alighted. We both looked utterly happy and very much in love.

She took the smartphone from my hands and stared at the photo for several seconds.

"That's not me anymore. I'm fat and ugly." She spoke in a clinical manner as though describing some specimen. She sounded robotic and dissociated. I wondered if that's what Jack told her these days. Then she put the phone down and pushed it back toward me.

"You look beautiful to me, still…Here's another picture of you…on graduation day."

I pushed the phone toward her again, across the small café table. It sat there for a moment. She finally glanced down at her image. She looked absolutely radiant in her cap and gown. I noticed that the corners of her mouth twitched up for just a micro-second.

I knew I was pushing the limits but it may have been my only chance to move in for an emotional connection. I scrolled to a picture of Ana and Ray at commencement.

"Here's someone you love, Ana."

My phone got snatched up and was in her hands instantly. She looked at Ray's picture with utter longing. She knew him at once. "Dad." I knew I'd kick started her memory then. I was on a roll.

She uttered his name and stared into the image on my screen as though willing him to step off the screen and touch her. My pulse was beating wildly within me. Whatever I did next had to be perfect.

"Here's someone who misses you; wants to see you," I told her. I was speaking very quickly now. Then I flashed a picture of Mia at her. I'd taken it only last week.

Ana's mouth hung open in shock. I'd surprised her with that one. She looked at the photo with skepticism at first. Then curiosity.

"Mia's alive?" Her reaction let me know that Jack had lied to her about Mia. She also cared about something. I wasn't the object of her affection, apparently.

"She's perfectly fine and engaged to be married." I announced the news with utter confidence. I knew I was tempting my poor lost soul of a mate to ask for more now.

She'd gone to rescue Mia from a kidnap attempt by Jack, once. That was just before everything fell apart in my life. The horror of our year apart weighed on me now.

"No. You're lying. Mia died."

"Look at the date on this picture, then. See how long her hair's grown?"

That bit of proof seemed to give Ana something to think about. She looked at Mia's photo for a second more and then clucked her tongue.

"It's a trick."

"No. It's all real. Do you want to speak with my sister? I'll call her right now."

The color returned to my wife's face in an instant. I was reeling her in. She'd always been so curious and full of ideas. She began to nod her head in agreement and then simply stopped herself.

I could hardly keep from running my knuckles across her cheek. My imagination already had us kissing and in an embrace. I needed to hold her in my arms and reassure my baby that her nightmare existence was almost over. Everything was going to be fine.

A look of absolute dread came over her face. She stood and began to gather her book again.

"I have to go now. It's getting late."

"Can I walk with you? I'll tell you all about Mia and the family. They miss you all so much. I've got news about Kate too."

Ana buried her head in her hands and then slowly turned away from me. She shook her head with regret. I was overwhelming her with information and options. These options were not something she was capable of taking. I could have kicked myself for not pacing the news a little better. I'd blown it.

But she simply walked out the door of Brunch Time as though nothing mattered. I let her go for a second. I didn't want her to freak. Then I called up Plan B.

As my girl started down the street and back to her pigsty of a place, another blast from the past was about to intervene in her life. His name was John Flynn.

I assumed he'd take her from zombie land and back to reality in a short time. I'd be wrong about that.

My breathing felt ragged as I watched my love walk slowly down the nearly deserted street. I knew one way to stoke her memory in a profound way. That involved our mind-blowing coupling. Maybe I should shove her against a building and run kisses down her neck. Then I shook my head at the inane impulse. Any sexual contact was going to have to wait a while. I nearly moaned with need as she left. I touched the gob of her hair in my pocket and sighed.

John had flown down to San Diego with me, once I showed him the pictures of Ana with Jack. We talked on the jet and made our plans. He was the one to suggest using memories from our early days. I'll be eternally grateful for that. He gave me a good ten minutes with my wife already today.

After he'd studied their body language he spoke briefly. "It looks as if she's severely depressed, drugged and ill."

Flynn made the assessment with utter ease. Then he blew out a long breath. John knew Ana well at the time of her disappearance. He'd worked with our team for months on a psychological profile of the psycho, Hyde.

"He's got antisocial personality disorder. That means Jack doesn't have a conscience. He'll use and abuse others for his own cheap thrills. He'll lie, cheat and steal to get whatever he thinks he needs at any given moment. It's all about impulse with these types. The average sociopath will just move on to his next victim. I'm surprised he's stayed with Ana this long. He may be above average in that regard."

"Maybe there's a reason for staying. A larger reward."

"It couldn't be the money. That's been stashed somewhere for a while. He's trying to dodge us by taking on a lifestyle that none of us might ever have imagined. He went from being an intellectual of sorts to the life of a longshoreman. The dock work alone takes quite a lot of strength and a huge toll on the body over time. The pay's okay but he certainly isn't spending it on himself or your girl."

As soon as I left the restaurant, I was on the phone with my therapist. I told him about our conversation and her unusual appearance. I let him know exactly where Ana was headed.

"How do you think Mr. Psycho caused her to gain so much weight?"

Flynn paused for a bit before speaking. "Drugs and a diet of fast, cheap food. There could be other complications too."

"Like what?" My blood felt ice cold in my veins. I had an idea about where this was going.

"I don't want you to go ballistic, Christian. However, we can't overlook the idea that Ana may be pregnant. With Jack's child. That could explain why he's taken an interest in her welfare."

I couldn't speak for several minutes after that repulsive idea was brought up. In fact, I ran to the toilet and vomited. Ana's clothes were so baggy that I hadn't noticed any baby bump. On the other hand, it might explain why she didn't want to know about her past. Maybe she figured her life had to focus on her child now. Also, her future seemed sealed with the man she assumed was its father and a savior to her, perhaps. Her prospects must have looked grim indeed.

"God, no. But you said he was a sociopath. Why would he care about a child?"

"Perhaps it's part of his Plan B. Not only can he use the child to control Ana. He can use it to blackmail you again. Once it's a bit older, he might try to pass it off as yours."

When Ana turned the corner toward the location of their loft, Flynn just happened to encounter her. She didn't even notice him at first since her head was down. He took the initiative. He wore a wrist phone for my benefit. We agreed in advance that he'd set the video app on his phone on record as soon as their encounter began.

In that way, I could see and listen in on their conversation. If you could call it that.

"My goodness. Ana Grey. I'm amazed to see you. How have you been, dear girl?" His enthusiastic voice and calm manner even cheered me up. It stopped her in her tracks. She looked dazed and confused. However, she also seemed a bit happier to see him than me. I cursed under my breath at that.

"I'm OK." Her voice sounded small and flat.

"It's John. Want to go for something to eat?"

"I can't, it's late, John." The more I listened to Ana, the more convinced I became that she'd had some sort of brain damage. Her voice was low, the speech was clipped, and she was disoriented. However, she recognized our former therapist. There was no doubt about it now.

"I'll drive you to your place then. That way, you can save time."

"I need to walk."

"Good to see that you're getting some exercise. Do you live nearby?"

"Yeah. In a loft."

"That's great. You must really like the weather in San Diego. Much nicer than Seattle, I'd guess."

Flynn's attempt at casual conversation with someone who appeared to be in a trance was actually quite humorous. The bait he offered her was not taken though.

"Hmphh." Her response didn't surprise me or John. I'd describe the behavior as a clear instance of shutting down. There was no question in my mind that Ana was about to cut and run.

"How about if I buy you a fajita? A woman in your condition needs good nutrition."

"What condition?" Now she sounded more than defensive and suspicious. There was an edge to her voice; a cynicism that seemed newly acquired.

He'd finally gotten a small rise out of her. I also detected fear in her voice, at last.

"Aren't you going to have a baby?" His voice was kind and friendly.

"Don't know and don't care."

"OK. Let's go for a frozen yogurt at least. I want to tell you about my family."

He was tempting her with treats and kind words.

Then Ana turned, tilted her face to his, and collapsed in a dead faint.

**AN: Do you think CG pushed her memory too much? Is she pregnant? What should be their next move?**


	3. Chapter 3: Detox

**Ch. 3 Detox and Therapy**

By passing out at that very moment, Ana enabled us to get her the help she needed. She probably couldn't take the shock of finally seeing me again. Flynn immediately carried my woman to the SUV. Taylor pulled out his medical kit and ran her vitals. By then she began to regain consciousness. I kept myself out of sight by hiding in the back of the vehicle.

"Her pupils are constricted and the body temperature's a bit high plus her heart rate and breathing are slow. She's not very alert; maybe in dreamland. Offhand, I'd say she's on a high dose of heroin." Taylor didn't look pleased with the diagnosis he'd just made. He always had a soft spot for my girl. It probably hurt him as much as it did me to know she was now an addict. Plus, that meant she was on a high from the most powerful pain killing drug out there.

"We need to run some blood tests and an MRI. If Jack's put her on a steady series of injections of that opioid, she's got a serious and long standing habit going. Once we get the results, I think we ought to fly her to a drug rehabilitation center in Seattle for an extended stay. We could be talking up to twelve weeks there." John gave his opinion without flinching.

I nodded my approval to everything he suggested. Who was I to argue? We rushed to the nearest hospital. At least we had my woman back in capable hands now.

To describe myself as anything more than a wreck would have been a lie. The blood tests at the hospital indicated high levels of Xanax, an antidepressant, and morphine. The body produces the Big M after heroin reaches the brain. The fastest route to a rush is by injection. Track marks could easily be detected on Ana's arms and inside her thighs. The fMRI revealed that her brain receptors for pain relief were quite active. She needed a fix like a dog needed a walk.

The emergency room physician took one look at her and said, "Classic case of severe heroin addiction. She's about to go into withdrawal. We can give her an oral dose of a pill called Suboxone. It helps relieve the cravings for the drug and blunts the effects felt when pulling back from the high by stimulating endorphins. They're natural pain relievers. She'll be alert and functional by tomorrow. Let me warn you, though. The first three days away from heroin are sheer hell."

The test results that came in an hour or two later supported the doctor's initial diagnosis.

"Is she pregnant?" I blurted out the question before I meant to. I couldn't restrain myself after seeing Hyde's loft and knowing they lived together.

"Her hCG levels look normal so I'd say no. She may have an ovarian cyst, though. That could account for the swelling in her abdomen. We could shrink that with hormone therapy or do surgery but she'll want to be involved with that decision."

Hearing the prognosis from the emergency room physician sent a spasm of joy through me. All of us sighed with utter relief. At least I didn't have to worry about dealing with Jack's spawn from hell. Raising a child born with his genetic material would have killed me. It would be just my luck that the kid embodied both his looks and personality.

I signed all the medical release documents and permissions as Ana's next of kin and sent e-copies to my health insurance provider and other relevant parties. The physician then released her into John Flynn's care for rehab follow up therapy in Seattle. We boarded my private jet and flew home that night. Ana slept nearly the entire time with the aid of Ambien.

I called everyone in both our families with the good and bad news. They were too shocked to say much more than 'thank goodness you found her and hope her rehab goes well'. Well, everyone but Ray. He cursed a blue streak and then made threats against Hyde's life. I couldn't agree more.

As soon as I completed my phone calls, I asked Flynn about the next phase of her recovery. "What's going to happen, once she's at the healing center?"

"They'll have to back her off the heroin slowly because she's built quite a tolerance to it. That means she needs a large hit of it to get the kind of pain relief she's been accustomed to receiving. The first week or so of withdrawal is the roughest time with the cravings. Suboxone will help with the back pain, itching, headaches, insomnia, restlessness and irritability."

"Sounds like fun."

"I'd expect she'll also be chilled and shaking, nauseous, releasing a lot of bodily fluids and unable to focus." The picture painted by John looked pretty miserable.

"No shit! She's going to be going through utter agony."

A memory surfaced from my own childhood. I flashed on what my mother experienced before she succumbed to her addiction. She died while passed out in a pool of her own vomit and diarrhea. I shuddered at the horror of what my baby was about to endure. There had to be some way to help her through this. I couldn't just sit around and wait.

John advised against any visitors to her rehab location for the first week or so. The idea that I couldn't spend time with my poor deluded wife for seven days seemed absurd. I had no intention of staying away that long. Not after we'd been apart for an entire year. Plus, I had a secret weapon at my disposal that I knew she craved.

"What can I do to help?"

"Be supportive but expect that she'll relapse. Send her gifts and distractions. Don't blame her for slip ups. Jack probably encouraged Ana to use large amounts of the opioid to keep her quiet, compliant and in La-la land. She'll have both a psychological and physical addiction to the drug."

"Damn. I had no idea how potent heroin could be. I never touch drugs anyway."

"You can get hooked on this stuff in three days. It's the most powerful substance for the relief of pain around. And, it's been in use for 7,000 years."

I moaned. "I saw what my mother went through, John; except she was on crack. The issue's still the same. The drug's in control of your body as the brain searches for some kind of balance."

"That's why I want to see you in my office every day, Christian. You're going to be rehashing your own issues about seeing someone you adore suffer from their addiction."

"Maybe I can rework my sense of powerlessness from that childhood disaster. If Ana and I have a successful outcome it can only mean that our marriage will be stronger."

John laughed a bit before adding, "…and you'll be less of a control freak."

I wasn't looking forward to the next week but decided to find out more about heroin withdrawal issues on my smartphone. With a serious addiction like Ana's, the symptoms could persist for more than six months. It was something referred to as PAWS. That is, post-acute withdrawal symptoms. The signs could be active for up to 32 weeks in long term users.

Of course, we'd also have to deal with my wife's aversion to me and undo the lies Jack fed her about my motives. Terms like reckless and hopeless floated around in my head and taunted me. I decided to treat her recovery as a challenge. It was part of my therapy too and clearly related to my own early development.

Welch simultaneously contacted the local police and described the situation with the Jackass and Ana. San Diego PD requested his file from an electronic data bank in Seattle. They issued a warrant within fifteen minutes of looking at his profile. Jack Hyde was arrested at work, while operating a forklift, that very day. The initial charges against him referenced the kidnapping of Mia as well as the extortion of millions from me. More formal claims would follow as soon as my wife started talking. If she cared to rat him out, that is. I cringed when I imagined that she thought he'd saved her from me.

Flynn made arrangements for her care at a well-regarded healing center called 'Sane Living'. That happened while we flew home. I placed her drugged out body on our king sized mattress to let her rest. I kissed her beautiful forehead and cuddled with Ana in my arms for most of the flight. She actually snuggled against me as I nuzzled and sniffed the top of her filthy head of hair.

After that interaction, I felt I'd taken a hit of some calming drug myself. Her physical response to my embrace encouraged me. She purred and I relaxed with satisfaction. Her unconscious need for me seemed more than obvious.

A sense of peace and warmth in my body's core started making its presence felt. My world began taking on meaning again. Now, the whole purpose of my existence would be centered on helping Ana get well. And, discovering exactly what happened with the psycho, to cause her such pain. I'm sure he wasn't going to be forthcoming with any real information.

I got my first clue about my wife's deluded beliefs while on board the jet. Even though heavily sedated, Ana jerked up suddenly from a night terror and screamed the word "monster" to nothing in particular. Her glassy eyed, unfocused stare indicated that she was in the throes of her REM sleep stage. Yeah, the dream or nightmare phase of sleep. I knew that one well. I held my breath in fear that she'd awaken and notice me. Seeing the monster she thought I was might set her back for weeks.

Luckily, Anastasia didn't surface from her nightmare. Instead, my girl began to thrash around on our bed and spit out a series of insulting words. I made out a few more terms that could have been meant for me. "Selfish…control freak…cheat," she muttered. She may have been right about the first two descriptors but certainly not the third.

If she had the mistaken impression that I'd done anything with Elena after learning about the pregnancy, she'd been misinformed. I wondered what Jack had on me there. Later on that night, I heard her utter the phrase "pervert" and had to chuckle about it. Such an accusation could never refer to the person I was now. Although that's how we'd begun our affair. Anastasia went totally ballistic about what Elena did to me as a teen. Maybe that's what set her off tonight.

I remembered one of our first fights. She became upset over what I'd told her about my long, very masochistic affair with the troll. She'd made a scene about the BDSM acts my lover required of me. This happened at the best restaurant in town. My girl grew furious about the whole thing and began chanting insulting comments about Elena and making faces.

"She's a pedophile. Imagine teaching that to a fifteen year old boy. I'd like to rip the hair out of her head."

"I wanted that kind of sex at the time, though."

"How do I know if you'll revert and want it again, at some point?"

Why couldn't Ana believe that I had no desire for the cruel and aging cougar? Or, that I was done with that kind of sex? Really done with it. It was all in the past.

But my girl wouldn't stop carping about it. I finally gave up and shut down. So did she, eventually. The silence in the car as we drove to Escala felt uncomfortable, at best. She turned on some music by Eminem entitled 'Love the Way You Lie' and cranked the volume. I made no attempt to lower it. I'd never been anything but completely honest with my girlfriend. But I now regretted sharing so much with her. I felt more than offended by her jealous rant.

I drove fast. It was as though I despised the world and everything in my way. Luckily, I'd buckled her in with the best safety belt on the market. One of my companies produced it. If we crashed, at least she'd survive. Our ride came to a head jerking stop just inside my parking garage. I nearly ripped the door off its frame as I opened it for her. She didn't look up at me at all. We said not a word to one another as we headed toward the elevator.

She followed me with silent rage as we entered and then proceeded to the penthouse. Taylor looked shocked when we exited and nodded at us tentatively. I was barely civil to him but Ana smiled. Once in our room, I shut the door, took my jacket off and threw it on the nearest chair. I tugged at my tie so hard it tore a bit. Then I stripped off the rest of my suit until I was standing before her in only my boxers.

"I'm sorry you're angry, Christian. It's just that Elena's so controlling. She won't give you up easily. The minute we have a problem, she'll be there to offer you solace."

"You don't trust me baby. I've told her we're over and you need to believe me. I love you and only you. I'd never turn to her for relief."

Ana shifted her weight from one foot to another then. She looked at her hands. I went into the kitchen and poured myself a drink. It was a vodka and tonic. She certainly didn't need any more liquor. I estimated that she'd downed at least three glasses of the best Cabernet Sauvignon from 1996 at dinner.

"You're behaving like an envious child. You need to believe in us, baby."

"Maybe I'm just a little drunk but I'm frightened about that troll's hold on you."

She'd taken off her shoes and most of her clothes by now. She stood there rubbing her toes in the plush carpet of our master suite. Her arms wrapped tightly around her torso. I finished my drink and then began to move slowly toward her. I was stalking her with very deliberate steps. She backed up toward the door as though I was some feral creature.

She also blinked shyly at me. Ana reminded me of an animal who was about to be mauled. I cleared the distance between us until the heat of my body warmed hers. She tried to move away from me at first but I settled my chest against hers. My hands were pressed to the wall on either side of her head. I could feel her breath on my lips. Her eyes held nothing but need. So did mine.

Then I slid my hands down the sides of her body and made quick work of removing her bra and panties. I pulled her into my arms as her fingers touched the hair and then skin of my naked chest. That's when I felt a sense of wholeness and connection with my woman again. My lips nibbled hers then skirted her chin and found their way down her neck. Her scent intoxicated me.

I felt her little teeth tugging at my earlobe. We both wanted each other desperately. She needed a merger with me as much as I with her. I desired nothing more than to feel myself moving inside her, soon. This was our special dance.

"Let me show you how much you mean to me, Ana."

The only response that came from her was a growl. I lifted her in my arms. Her legs wrapped around my hips. She tilted her pelvis toward me. My tongue probed her mouth for a full minute. She took my face between her hands and returned my kiss with a passion that surprised me. The sense of relief that flooded my body felt like a drug. I guess she believed me now.

"Show me how much I mean to you."

"Your wish is my command angel."

She actually panted as I lowered her onto my shaft. We both sighed with delight as we connected. I groaned with satisfaction as I settled myself into her tight little box. We fit together perfectly.

Then I really began to move us. I pounded into her lovely frame as she encouraged me with little "oohs" and "ahhs". It felt like absolute heaven.

"Oh yes, Christian." She chanted my name like a litany by now. Both of us were delirious with pleasure. When I nipped at her neck while pulling her down on me, she finally let go and went limp in my arms. That signal sent me into an orgasm that lasted a very long minute.

"How can you even doubt my devotion to you? Elena could never satisfy me the way you do. You're unbelievable and we're perfect together. Always."

"Good. I'll love you, always."

As I relived the memory of that glorious night, I realized how threatened Ana felt about my past with the cougar from hell. She had nothing to worry about. And, her worries seemed absurd. But they were lurking in her consciousness, nonetheless.

Then it clicked. If Hyde convinced her that I'd gone to Elena during the crisis over our pregnancy, I was in deep trouble. Could he have taken pictures of us at the upscale nightclub near Escala the day I'd learned that Ana was going to have our child? Maybe Hyde obtained a video clip from the cameras at the club. I'd gone alone to the bar. I simply wanted to think and drink.

The troll showed up by pure chance after I'd been there an hour or so. Maybe she'd been tracking me. I had no knowledge of how she found me. Yes, I'd told her about my problem. She commiserated with me and I felt unburdened. Then she made an unexpected pass at me that I deflected in no uncertain terms. Elena tried to kiss me at the bar and even groped me. I didn't reciprocate. I was so shocked by her attempted seduction that I quickly shut her down and left.

If someone had the wrong shots of us at the bar, though, things could be misconstrued. Perhaps a picture was snapped at just the right moment. Then, it might have looked like more. When the troll first put her lips to mine and her hand on my crotch, the interaction between us would look quite incriminating. Damn.

If my wife had been tormented with those pictures, she'd have felt betrayed. Maybe that's how Jack finally got to her. I wonder if it traumatized my woman enough to cause the miscarriage. Either that, or Jack injected her with something to terminate our baby. I wouldn't put it past him for a nanosecond. He knew how important our love and marriage was to my sense of place in the world. Destroying it was a sure fire way to get the ultimate revenge on me.

**AN: Surprised about the heroin addiction? Did Jack use the drug to end Ana's pregnancy? What should happen next? **


	4. Chapter 4: Sane Living

**Ch. 4 Sane Living**

Ana's regimen at the rehab center was focused on three areas: 1) getting the toxins out of her body, 2) physically stabilizing her body's sleep and eating cycles, and then 3) addressing her psychological needs. A physician checked all the clients for their vitals on a frequent basis. Other staff members made the real change happen. Her Certified Addiction Counselor, or CAC, addressed each of those topics with her directly.

The name of our CAC was Tanesha Turner or, Aunt T, to those who really knew and loved her. Her strong, broad body was aided by a kind heart and sharp mind. She'd gotten through her own heroin addiction twenty years earlier and knew what it took to make a clean break. In Aunt T's case, she'd gotten off painkillers with some home remedies. Agonists like Suboxone weren't on the market yet.

Suboxone filled up the pain receptors in my girl's brain so the cravings for heroin weren't overwhelming. It was taken sublingually or under the tongue for the best results. She had to wait until her withdrawal symptoms really kicked up though. And, the drug took an hour to have an impact. Eventually, she'd be weaned off that too. Her CAC compared it to playing musical chairs. At each phase of the healing process, they'd take away one chair until the body achieved a normal balanced state.

There'd be a lot of vomiting, diarrhea, and snot coming out of my wife's body in the first week or so. I took that as a good sign. The toxins were being removed from her system. I thought of it as the purging of Jack's vile influence on her. Of course, Ana didn't feel like seeing anyone at that phase.

I spoke with Aunt T about whether I could bring my girl some home cooked meals prepared by Mrs. Jones.

"Your wife won't had any hunger the first few days, boy. If she coming down off the Big H, Anastasia can't have no solids for three, four days. She be upchucking. Maybe crackers then soup wid veggies afta' that, be my guess. Later on, tuna in the can. And…lots of water."

"Got it. Can I bring her any over the counter products to ease her body pain? I'll do whatever it takes."

"She be aching real bad in her tummy and in the legs. They be jumping. You know 'bout restless leg syndrome?"

"Yeah, the doctor told me they'd give her something like a tranquilizer for that. But would anything else help?"

"I tell 'em gummy bear vitamins, Tylenol for pain, Pepto-Bismol and Tums for nausea. Some of the patients like Fish Oil cuz it help wid the blood flow. You know, when she be cold. Those hot 'n cold flashes drive 'em crazy. Bring some Aloe Vera for when her body get hot. You put it on the muscle and skin, you see. Skin feels itchy all dah time. We give 'em coffee when dey need energy."

"Anything she wants, Ana will get."

"You spoil her, I see." Aunt T gave me a big old smile then laughed and patted me on the back.

"She's been through hell Aunt T. A kidnapping, miscarriage, and drugging. I'm amazed she's still alive after the year she's had."

"'Dat a lot of baggage, she got. But for now, we need her healthy."

My wife didn't talk much on the first few days at Sane Living. She was more the suffer in silence type anyway. I was barred from the facility during days one through three. That's when detox was the worst. It didn't matter that I offered to build a new wing on the place. The staff could not be bribed. I liked knowing they had some ethical principles. Aunt T and I were on the phone three times per day though.

All I cared about was the fact that the center created an environment for recovering addicts that was safe, respectful and caring. It also provided individual, family and group therapy to help Anastasia and the rest of us understand and work through her shifting attitudes, behaviors and beliefs.

Dr. Flynn visited Ana after she began eating tuna and crackers, exercising and taking showers. That happened around day five. He told her that Jack had been arrested. She just looked at him and snorted. Her lips curled up in a sneer.

"When you're ready to talk about any of this, I'll be here." John tried to assure her with kind words and a caring attitude as he stood at the door of her room.

But she just rolled her eyes with exasperation then and spit out the phrase, "Lap dog."

"There's always two sides to the equation, Ana. Keep an open mind."

"He betrayed and abandoned me and my baby. Then left Mia to die."

"I assume you're referring to Jack."

"You know who I mean." Ana then moved toward the door, gestured for John to move away and slammed it in his face.

A shudder quaked through my entire body when I heard about their conversation. I assumed it was a good sign that Ana felt well enough to talk and emote. At least that's what John said.

Aunt T agreed. I called her directly after ending my conversation with Flynn.

"I want to see my wife and let her know she's mistaken about a few things."

"Oh no. You don't go riling her up now. It good dat she talkin' but don't push it."

The family would be involved the following week with drug education, strategies for offering social support and recovery information. There'd also be group therapy sessions for both patients and families.

In the meantime, I wracked my brain to come up with some way to prove that Jack's theories about me were wrong. Mia would be a key player since she'd been kidnapped and then released once I paid a five million dollar ransom to Hyde and his accomplice.

Apparently, Ana thought I'd never come through with the cash and that my sister died as a result. Seeing Mia face to face would start to shatter Jack's story. I couldn't wait to produce a happy and healthy Mia. We would arrange for that to happen as soon as my wife was able to see visitors.

Flynn and I worked through the scraps of information that we could about what my wife believed. We realized that planting seeds of doubt in Ana's head were the only way to go. She was bright and would look at the situation from various perspectives. At least that's what we hoped would happen.

"Try to put yourself in Ana's position."

"I walked out of our apartment after learning of the pregnancy. I implied that she was stupid and careless about using birth control. Which was true. We had an agreement that she would see her gynecologist on a regular basis to prevent a pregnancy. I felt betrayed."

"This is not about you, Christian. How would she feel about your behavior?"

"Rejected. Maybe that I wanted her only for sex."

"And if Hyde showed her the pictures of you and Elena having an intimate moment later that night?"

"That I'd dumped her and returned to my BDSM habits."

"There's no doubt that Ana loved you desperately. Walking out on her, insulting her about the pregnancy and spending time with Elena probably crushed her. In no uncertain terms. She thought she'd be raising your child alone."

"Never. I just needed a little space to process the whole thing."

"Then when Mia was kidnapped and she thought you refused to pay the ransom, you started looking like a very selfish, sick man. If she thought your sister died because of your obsession with money, that could have been the final straw. She gave up on you and it led to a disaster."

"So the shock of rejection, betrayal and cruelty was enough to make her miscarry our child?"

"Probably. Who knows what Hyde told her?"

"But why the hell would she trust him, if he'd been involved with kidnapping my sister and killing her?"

"Maybe she thought someone else carried out the dirty deed."

"Or perhaps she was in so much emotional pain, at that point, that she turned to drugs for relief."

"Maybe Jack shot her up with heroin as a way of calming her down about my utter rejection of the baby. Then he decided to take her away with him. Perhaps she felt grateful to him."

"That's a very likely scenario."

"I've got to get Ana back, John. I know how much I need her in my life. This past year has been unbearable without my girl. Help me."

I know that I sounded pathetic as I begged for his intervention. I no longer cared about how weak I appeared to be. Getting my woman back and having a family again was the only thing that mattered now.

"Give her some time, Christian. I'm convinced that she's still deeply in love with you. But, she's been so deeply hurt by the very person she trusted most. You and your family were her world and then it all collapsed in a matter of days. She thought you didn't want her anymore, that Mia died, her pregnancy failed and her lifestyle was about to change. About all she had left was her career. That's a hell of a lot of stress for any twenty-two year old to handle."

"I really blew it with the most wonderful wife a man could want. Is there some way that I can at least have contact with her?"

"You'll have to check with Tanesha. She's in charge of all contacts."

As it turned out, Ana's physical rehabilitation went much better than expected. By the end of the week, she often ran with other patients for an hour or more every day. The color returned to her cheeks and she'd begun eating regular meals again. Things were looking good on that scale.

The psychosocial piece of the recovery process would be much more challenging though. Aunt T knew all about my side of the story of our breakup. She also spent long hours listening to Ana's current issues. However, when I asked to see my wife after the seven day mark, she refused to grant me permission.

Aunt T made it clear that Ana simply wasn't ready to deal with the past. In fact, she refused to see me. Maybe my actions were reprehensible. I had no intention of giving up on her though.

"If she look at dah past, all she know is pain. I tell her focus on dah future. She can make a whole new life now."

"That's what I'm afraid of. One without me. Can I least watch her through a two way mirror?"

"Mebbe. I let you know Mr. G."

"But she's my wife."

"What if she done wid that?"

"I'll woo her night and day, if you'll just let me communicate with her."

"Not just now. Give it time, boy."

In the meantime, I decided to send her a plant. One that she had to nurture. That meant an orchid. They required a lot of careful attention. Like me.

Aunt T and John Flynn both supported my plan. Of course, I included a brief note with my gift. It took me an hour to write it. I made several botched attempts at the message. I didn't want to pressure Ana into a relationship with me by signaling our marital roles. That meant I couldn't use phrases such as, "your faithful husband." I wanted to stake my claim on her as well as proclaim my devotion to her. However, suggesting anything about being faithful might set her off on a rant about Elena. I really couldn't risk stirring any memories of the troll. Also, I didn't want to use words like "forever" because that could make her feel trapped, in our marriage. Damn, this was hard.

I hoped she'd give us another chance but John encouraged me to let her make that decision. I tried to convince myself that I'd give her a divorce, if that's what she decided to do with our future. It would kill me to lose Anastasia. To tell you the truth, I'd never give up hope of a reconciliation with my wife.

Therefore, what I finally settled on for my message was this:

"Anastasia – Here's to your health and recovery. I love you with every beat of my heart and want only what's best for you. Yours, Christian." My hand shook as I signed the card.

The very next day my plant was delivered. Aunt T let me watch Ana on a security camera. The way she reacted would be a clue to our future. Flynn called it Reality Therapy – for me. I had to deal with whatever reaction my wife happened to exhibit. I took several deep breaths while watching the entire scene unfold. Symbolic gestures meant so much to our fragile relationship.

She smiled when the plant arrived and set it carefully on her windowsill. Then Ana read my note but didn't react in any obvious way. I'd worked out all the reactions that might be expected. The best case scenario included making her smile from ear to ear. I knew that would be ridiculous. Still, I hoped. The worst was that she'd rip my note into shreds and toss the orchid in the trash bin.

My heart fluttered when she took the card and put it in the top drawer of her nightstand. I sighed. There was a warm feeling in the very core of my being when she saved my note in a special place. She still cared for me and us. What I didn't know was how much she was willing to do with me, anymore. I'd find out more about that in the weeks and months to come. I love a challenge. And, I was about to find out just how much of one I'd get.

Anastasia's therapy sessions now included groups. Sane Living happened to be a high end facility and the clients all had money. Lots of money. There were ten people in her recovery group. Half of each gender. Most of the patients were in their teens and twenties. Apparently, she'd formed a bond with two other people around her age from the group. One was a person who acted and looked a lot like Kate. She went by the handle of Kristen. The other happened to be a young man with sandy colored hair and a kind face. He'd been abused by his mother. His name was Brandon.

My heart sank when I heard about the Brandon dude. I imagined that Ana would be very sympathetic to him because of about his past. He'd be checking out my wife, no doubt. Who could resist that incredible face and her amazing hair? Plus, she'd probably lost about ten to fifteen pounds of flesh with all the bodily fluids that were spewing from her. I had to find a way to short circuit their contacts.

**AN: HOW SHOULD CG HANDLE ANA'S GROWING INDEPENDENCE? WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO WIN HER BACK? **


	5. Chapter 5: Therapy

**Ch. 5 Therapy**

It's family day at Sane Living and Ray's coming, along with Grace and Mia. I'm going to watch the video feed of their meeting with Anastasia from another room. She's made it clear to Aunt T that she's not ready to see me, yet. Everyone in the place is monitored by a security camera, day and night. In addition, my wife signed an agreement that anyone can watch her on that device if that's what they choose to do. That's my lifeline for staying on top of her situation.

The facility's reception room holds about fifty people with all sorts of couches, chairs and bean bag furniture arranged in small circles. The room's decorated in shades of brown, tan and ochre. The floor to ceiling windows overlook a small pond and clusters of blue spruce trees that are so very plentiful in northwest Washington state. It's all designed to be comforting but the atmosphere today feels charged with tension. Maybe that's just me.

Before any contact occurs with the residents, the first-time visitors are given an orientation by the staff. On this particular day, the head of the CAC group is going to speak. About 15 friends and family members are gathered together to heed her advice. I sit at the back of the group and look around. Ray's up front near Grace and Mia. They've already waved at one another but haven't talked yet. No one has seen me.

The CAC Administrator taps on a microphone to get the group's attention. Then she heads to a small podium and gets directly to the point. I like this woman already.

"Hi everyone. My name's Maddy Romero and I'd like to welcome you to our world. It's wonderful to see the first time visitors today. Your support of and interactions with our residents makes a huge difference in their recovery. Thank you for taking the time."

She's middle aged, short and slight with shoulder length dishwater blond hair and a great smile. I feel calmer already.

"Most of you will be pleased and surprised with the progress your loved one has made during the past week. It's still early in the cleansing and healing process though. Expect that there will be some setbacks and regressions in the time ahead. The most important thing you can do today is to let them know you care. If they want to talk about their detox process, that's fine. We do have some advice though. One rule of thumb about conversations that we hold dear here at Sane Living is this: focus on the future. That means no references to their past pain and heartaches. Are we clear about that?"

Most of the visitors murmur in agreement. They probably don't want any drama today either.

I take a deep breath in to calm down. That's just not going to do it for me. All I want right now is to cleanse Ana's mind of her mistaken notions about the past. She needs to hear the truth about me or else I'll never get taken back into her life.

I can't resist asking a question so I boom it out almost as soon as Maddy stops speaking. "Will there be an optimal time for looking into certain issues from the past?" I ask. My voice sounds as irritated as I feel.

"We'll get to discussion of the past in our individual and group therapy sessions. At this point in their healing, sir, it's best to celebrate the fact that they're clean and the future is bright. Most of the clients here are young and full of hope, as they should be at this point. If we start to dwell on what caused them to start using, it could derail the progress made over the past seven days. The motivator for those who get addicted to opioids, or pain killers if you want to use the common term, is to escape from some sort of personal pain. It could be physical and/or some sort of psychological distress. Our advice is to wait a couple of weeks before going to that deep dark place."

I nod my head with reluctance. Mia and Grace both turn around to wave at me and motion that I should join them. I decline.

"Thank you again for taking time out of your busy lives to support our residents. I know you're all quite anxious to see your friend or family member. I'll sign off now to let you do just that. Here's to a wonderful visit. If you have any more questions, let me know personally."

Maddy bows her head and clicks off the microphone with a broad grin. Then she wanders around the room to greet various people and talk about their concerns.

It's really time for the visits to start. Ray leaves to make his way to Ana's room. That's when I huddle with mom and my sister.

"Christian! We knew you'd be here. How is she?" Grace's hug feels more than welcome and her confidence about my reconciliation with my Ana soothes me.

"I've not been allowed to meet with her face to face as per her request. But she looks great on the camera and from a distance." My voice sounds raw and hurt. I'm sure the pain on my face is evident to both of them.

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry to hear that. Just give her a bit of time to come around. The poor girl's just a little confused right now."

"Yeah, I know. I'm trying to give her some space but patience is not one of my strong suits."

My throat actually cracks with feeling as I speak. Tears fill and sting my eyes. I'm really suffering about the fact that Ana's shut me out of any contact with her today. She's letting all family members but me have access to her. Dammit.

Mia pulls me into her arms for a long hug. "Don't worry, Christian. She's madly in love with you and probably won't be able to resist seeing you in person, once she knows you're here."

"I doubt that. Not according to what her CAC tells me. I've been coming here every day to watch the feed. She's already found two friends in her therapy group and they're privy to all her secrets."

"Well, we'll put in a good word for you. Don't worry." Grace assures me of their strategy while Mia nods with her usual energy.

"Thanks Mia, mom."

I nod at both of them and then turn toward the corner to beat a fast retreat from them before I really lose it. I can feel the salty wetness that's streaming down my cheeks already. I quickly wipe them away with one of my monogrammed white handkerchiefs. At least my family knows I want some privacy and respect my wishes.

When I get myself calm, I'm really curious about what's going down between Ray and Ana. That's when I decide to head back into the security monitor room and turn up the volume on their conversation. No one else occupies the space. Thank goodness.

The first thing I hear is Ray's voice. "I can't believe how good you look. Your color and glow have returned already."

"That's because I carried a lot more weight than most heroin addicts, before I came in."

"Yeah. Usually, heroin addicts are stick thin."

"Jack made sure that I ate a lot. In fact, I weighed in at forty eight pounds heavier than before I got addicted."

I'm cursing when I hear Ana's description of Hyde's care. Does she actually believe that the psycho took good care of her? She's confused alright.

"Your weight gain looks good on you, I'll say that." Ray smiles like a proud dad and then gives her a small package. It's a Kindle with a gift card.

She opens it with care and then pulls her dad in for a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for remembering how much I like books. I could use that gift card right about now, too."

He shifts nervously from foot to foot. "Hey, don't spend it all in one place."

"The only place I'm going to visit is the Kindle store."

"That sounds healthy. How've you been doing here?"

"Really good. But, dad. I missed you every day I was gone. How've you been?"

"Miserable when we didn't know what had become of you. Now, I'm just happy you're back. I am ready to help you in any way that I can."

"Thanks. Actually, I may need to ask you a favor."

"Anything you want, baby."

"Well, I don't know but…" I notice that Ana's looking at the floor while making her request. I hold my breath.

"Don't be shy, Ana. What is it?"

"When I'm through here at Sane Living…I may want to live at your place. Just for a while."

She glances up at Ray with an embarrassed look on her face after she's done.

He clears his throat and pauses before speaking. I can hear the wheels turning in his head.

"What? Well what about. Uhh…well if that's what you want, you're welcome any time to stay at my place. I could use some company."

His response and body language signal utter shock. I guess he had no idea that things were tense between me and my wife. Of course, I hadn't shared anything about what happened with the pregnancy nor with Elena. Not with him anyway. How embarrassing would that be?

"I don't know what will happen. It's just that I may need to spend some time alone. To find out who I am, now."

"I'm surprised to hear your idea. But, whatever you want. I'm more than happy to let you stay at my place. I'd be delighted."

"Thanks, dad. Things could change. I just wanted to check with you on the possibility of staying at your place."

My heart just about stutters in my chest. I feel a knife-like pain in my gut. Now I know for sure that she's thinking of starting over without me. Without Kate, too. I find my way to the nearest chair and slump down. I prayed that it wouldn't come to this and now I'm too heartsick to listen in any further on their conversation.

I must admit I wasn't prepared to hear that news. It's one thing to imagine that my wife might want a divorce but another to hear her lay the groundwork for it with her dad. She's moving quickly now to eliminate me from her life. I'm sobbing in pain and feel as though I've been punched in the stomach. I watch them prepare to part in a daze.

My wife's planning a totally fresh start in life. I imagine her getting involved with her career again at SIP. She'd be commuting from Ray's place and maybe seeing friends from work on the weekend. I knew I was a lot to take on. Now she realizes that being with me again would be too painful for her. She's probably right about that. I'm a mess.

I'm certainly not ready to accept her verdict at the moment. I'm going to fight for her and find a way back in. I call Flynn's office for an emergency therapy session and schedule it for tonight. I'm still dizzy with shock. I may need some heroin myself.

Once Ray leaves, he signals that my sister and mom are next. They practically run into her room.

He leaves the place without speaking to me. At least he could have waved goodbye. Then again, I'm in the video room and he probably doesn't know where I've gone. He probably doesn't want to have an awkward conversation with me. Maybe he needs to think about things for a bit. I don't want him to see me this way anyhow. I'm in so much psychological pain right now, I can hardly stand up.

Mia enters the room first. My mom hangs back a bit to give the girls some space. They cling to one another for at least two minutes. When they pull apart, they're both smiling ear to ear and crying tears of joy.

"I missed you so very much, sis." Mia's already gushing with love and care.

"Me too. My life was sheer hell in San Diego. I thought you'd been…hurt. But, here you are."

"Of course I'm here. Christian paid off those creeps who kidnapped me with no questions asked. They dumped me in front of GEH Enterprises as soon as they got their unmarked cash. I'm just upset that my brother had to pay them so much money to get me back."

That announcement seems to take Ana by surprise. Her head moves back in shock. At least she knows that I really did pay the ransom now.

She hesitates and then sputters out a response. "Really? You were worth every penny, girl."

"Well I'm sorry that you were kidnapped by that monster, Hyde, and taken in my place. Oops, I shouldn't speak of the past. I'm sorry."

A dark look passes over my wife's face before she changes the subject.

"It's a bit more complicated than that. But anyway, I love your long hair. It makes you look older and wiser. Sophisticated."

"Do you really think so? I spend like an hour straightening it, every day. I hope Jose likes my more mature look."

"Jose? You mean JR, my friend?"

"Oh yes. You didn't know that we got together? Here's the real shocker then. We're engaged to be married!"

"Wha…How? What? Engaged? OMG!"

"Yeah. See the ring? He worked overtime at the WSU gallery for months to pay for this rock."

Mia's proudly shoving a two carat diamond in Ana's face and looking exuberant as she does it. She literally jumps for joy at the opportunity to share her good news.

My wife simply stares at Mia as though she's grown another head. Then she sits down on the small love seat in her room looking as if she's about to pass out. She actually gives herself a minute to process the information.

"But I thought…well. Weren't you with Ethan?"

"After you disappeared, Jose sought me out. We bonded in our search to find you. He posted all sorts of pictures of you on the major social media sites. Everywhere we could. Then we found that we had a common interest in photography. Jose's just much more like me than Ethan. I'm not interested in all that upper middle class status and stuff. Plus, Jose's so hot with that Latin look. I swoon whenever he takes his shirt off. We're very happy together."

I grumble at that comment. I'm still not sure I can tolerate Jose Rodriguez as my brother in law but I guess it's not my call. He seems totally smitten with my sister, now. At least that will keep him away from my woman.

"Oh my god, Mia. You and Jose. Who would have guessed? Rest assured, I'm so happy for you. I have a lot of catching up to do."

"I want you to be in my wedding. Mom and I are already reworking everything for your role."

"Of course, I'll be thrilled to be your bridesmaid. When is it?"

"In three months' time. I can't wait to show you my ideas for the dresses. You'll look wonderful in a peach tone with your dark hair and that flawless complexion. You and Christian, that is."

She blinks once or twice at the mention of my name but says nothing about me.

"Hopefully, by then, I'll look more like myself. I want to drop another twenty pounds or so."

"I'm sure Christian will help you get your figure back. You two are so active, together."

Mia wiggles her eyebrows in a suggestive manner and smiles. Now I'm more than happy that I'd paid Mia's ransom of five million. She's worth more than that to me. Especially if she keeps up the talk about Ana and me, as a couple. I already know that we're going to be in the wedding party as partners. That is, unless my wife requests a different pairing.

Maybe Ana would insist on bringing Jack Hyde to the wedding. As her date. If she did that, I'd invite Elena along as mine. What a nightmare that would be. For everyone.

I took note of the change in expression on my wife's face when my name came up. Her mouth turned down, into a frown. She also turned away from Mia and sought out Grace then.

Mom was waiting at the door jamb for a chance to join the conversation. The change in mood at the moment is her cue to make a move. She's smart enough with social cues to pick it the tension and go with it.

After a heartfelt embrace, mom starts in on the plan to get Ana back in the groove.

"Dear girl. It's wonderful to have you in our family again. We've got a lot to share with you. We're going to have Mia's wedding at the house. So, of course, you need to help me plan the details. We need your advice on the language we'll use on the wedding invitations and other communications."

Ana hesitates then sighs and gives in. I knew Grace and Mia would wear her down. Quickly.

"Oh, Grace. I can't tell you how much it hurt to be away from the Grey family. I'd love to help and to be a part of everything."

"Good because I need your insights about so much. Did you know that Carrick is thinking about retirement? And you're not going to believe where he wants to move."

"I had no idea. I've hardly had a chance to speak with anyone in the family."

Grace pauses a second and then drops the C word. "We'll let Christian fill you in on the specifics."

I knew I could count on my mom for some support.

Ana raises her eyebrows at that idea. Then says "Yeah. Well we haven't talked much. I've been so sick."

I snort with derision. Now my wife's afraid to let them know she wants to dump me. That's good as far as I'm concerned. The longer she delays her plans to leave me, the more chance I have to win her back to my side of the equation.

Mia joins the tag team effort to bring Ana over to the light. "Anastasia Grey. You need to talk with Christian. He loves you so much and he's been utterly miserable without you. He never stopped looking for you the entire time you were gone. In fact, you probably don't know what he's done over the past year."

My sister drops the bait. Ana turns a shade of grey and stares at my sister. Then she finally succumbs. They've got her on the hook, at last.

"What's he done this year?" I note the curiosity in her voice for the first time. At least as far as I'm concerned. Mia's going to get a new car for her help today.

**AN: Hope I shocked you about Mia's fiancé. What could CG have done during the past year to impress Ana? What should it be? **


	6. Chapter 6: Revelations

**Ch. 6 Revelations**

Grace began the story by clearing her throat. "He exposed Elena Lincoln's pedophilia. He even went public about his abuse as a teenager under her tutelage."

She let the news sink in slowly while Ana blinked and seemed stunned. The look on her face was priceless. I saw shock and possibly relief. All was quiet for a few minutes. At last, she responded.

"How did he choose to go public?"

"A press conference at GEH. The New York Times picked up the story and published it last January. They did a whole expose on the practice, in the US. They used Christian's childhood history as an anecdote and morality tale, to back up the statistics on who does what to whom."

"Oh no. Really? Now everyone in the world knows his deep, dark secret." She wrapped her arms around her torso and wiggled a bit in her seat. I can't tell if that move meant good or bad news for us. She didn't seem too upset though.

"At least most of it. They don't know the full extent to which E. L. stooped to hook Christian on BDSM and get him acclimated to the network of players in Seattle again. He got a lot of support from the social media for coming out about his past BDSM lifestyle and what led to it. Most people were very kind and sympathetic about his childhood neglect and abuse though."

"Weren't you and the rest of the family embarrassed about his confession?"

"Yes, at first. However, he told us about all of the sordid story, as well as his intentions to come clean with his past and expose her exploitation, well ahead of time. That happened over the holidays. So we had more than a week to prepare and even lay the groundwork with our professional associates."

"That's a lot of information for people to digest."

Maybe my Ana wouldn't want to be married to someone who would always be a publicly acknowledged BDSM freak. But she'd known the truth about me all along. Then again, it might bother her to know everyone else might think I was, or at least had been, abused and abusive about sex.

"In the beginning, Carrick opposed going public. He argued that it would only come back to haunt our son. I disagreed."

"I think Carrick had a good point there." Ana's assessment makes me squirm. Maybe she really doesn't want to be known as the wife of a former sex freak. At least at this point in her life.

"In the end, Christian's argument won us over. We knew, by then, that you'd been fully aware of his past all along. His story made the headlines in Seattle for days. January's a slow month for any real news and the locals couldn't get enough of the story."

"What was his argument for going public about Elena then?"

"That she and his other BDSM partners would always have something to hang over his head. They might use it to manipulate him or the family, at any time. Blackmail and all that, you know."

Ana nods her head with understanding this time. I let out a breath of relief. "That's true. But, I don't understand what drove him to make the story public when he did."

"What drove him to come clean in January was Elena's relentless pursuit of a relationship with Christian. She kept trying to reel him in and hook up again. She showed up at every holiday party he attended and wore extremely provocative clothing. He was done with her but she just couldn't accept that decision. Basically, your husband felt he had no recourse but to come out with the news. He started to feel like a cornered rat."

"What about her? Did Mrs. Lincoln or as I liked to call her, Mrs. Robinson, know her dirty little secret was about to be revealed to the social media and the press?"

Mia laughed out loud at Ana's nickname for my former lover and even Grace smirked. However, nothing could stop my mother from telling my woman the full details of Elena's take down. It seemed my family was on a mission to educate Ana and bring her up to speed with what she'd missed during the past year. I felt grateful that they shared the story with her. It would be difficult, if not impossible, for me to tell her what happened without really getting emotional. Besides, she might not believe my version of the truth.

"She knew nothing of his plans to derail her reputation. She left town as soon as the full story broke about who corrupted Christian. We heard that she actually moved to a remote Caribbean island to recover. Someone at GEH helped her liquidate the spa and beauty business. Now she has plenty of money to support whatever lifestyle she's pursuing there."

Ana snorted with derision then. "Good riddance to her. I suspect that Christian had a hand in that move too."

Mia nodded and then added another layer. "He's such a generous and kind person." I cheered at that statement. There's nothing better than having a loyal and supportive sib to argue for my side of the story.

I noticed Ana's head nodded a bit and that sent a delicious feeling through my whole body. "Did some of the people in Seattle come down on you and Carrick for what happened to Christian?"

"Only a few were cruel and awful. It's a good thing we're well known in all the right circles for our charity work. Everyone in the upper echelons of Seattle's pecking order could point to our adopted family and the efforts we made to engage in fundraising for 'Save the Children'. It just made sense when Christian's brutal childhood background was revealed."

"I'm sure that aspect of your long-standing role played well in the press."

"It certainly helped our case. Christian's charities also got highlighted. We tried to prepare ourselves for any backlash. I think most people were stunned that their local billionaire had such a conflicted early life. Kate also made sure people knew the details about his abusive early childhood and his mother, the prostitute."

"He must have been hounded night and day about the revelations." Now, Ana's voice sounded sympathetic.

"At first. We felt more than concerned about how our son would handle the public's response."

"How did he handle it?" Ana's actually sitting forward now with her elbows on her knees and hanging on every word from Grace's mouth. I'm smiling from ear to ear as I watch her body language. She cares, she really cares about me. There's hope for our marriage, after all.

"Quite well. He said he had nothing more to protect, since you'd been taken from him. We were so proud of our boy. The press conference began with an appeal for your safe return. Then he proceeded to explain that he'd had a troubled past before meeting and marrying the woman of his dreams. He thought one reason you were abducted could be related to his former BDSM practices."

"That must have been a shocker. What happened next?"

"The press and social media started asking for more details about how he started down that road. He came out with the truth. He admitted that a former friend of the family actually initiated him into the sex and torture scene when he was only fifteen."

"Did he name names?" Ana's thorough approach to understanding the situation really impressed me.

"Not initially. But Kate and others in her field quickly worked out the possibilities. That's when Mrs. Lincoln decided to disappear. The authorities were about to move in on her with an arrest."

"I don't understand why Christian's appeal about my disappearance didn't work. No one seemed to be looking for me."

"Maybe some people thought you left because of the BDSM. You know, that you couldn't take anymore. Plus, Jack must have had you under lock and key down in San Diego."

"I don't even remember what I was doing in January. Maybe I was higher than a kite for the entire month. We didn't have a phone and certainly no access to a television."

Mia piped up then with a defense. "My brother never stopped looking for you. Aren't you glad that Mrs. Lincoln is gone?"

"Oh yes. I agree that she's a pedophile and thrilled that she's out of Seattle."

Mia was quick with a followup. "According to him, he had nothing to lose by telling the truth. You were gone and he felt despondent. She wouldn't stop harassing him and threatening to have some of his former playmates come forward and tell their stories. Elena called and dropped in to see him at odd times. She'd show up at his office and insist on taunting him about the prostitutes he once made agreements with for sex. Once you were out of the picture, she felt determined to move in on some action with him whether he wanted it or not."

"He must have been feeling desperate." Ana's insights into my mood were impressive.

"Oh yeah. Since they had a business connection, she also tried to manipulate him with her financial woes. Elena's relentless moves to entice Christian back into her dark, demented world pushed him over the edge." Grace added another layer to the discussion of her long time former friend. She shook her head in disgust.

Ana looked encouraged as she put the pieces together. "So once I was presumably gone, she thought the game was on again? I'm really impressed that he decided to out her and make a clean break of it. The troll lurked in the background of our lives for far too long."

"I'm amazed at the amount of manipulation Elena was capable of devising. She had absolutely no sense of ethics. If that woman wanted someone or something, it was a no holds barred, full-out effort to seduce or ruin them. She'd go at her target from several angles at once."

Grace's insights into the motivations of her former confidante were more than accurate and quite welcome. At least as far as I was concerned. Also, from the eager expression I could detect on Ana's face, I knew the tides were shifting in my favor.

She started opening up to my mother and Mia like never before. "That's what I feared most about her. Long ago, when Christian and I got together, she tried to advise him about how to handle things. She encouraged him to follow me around and act like a stalker. When I didn't seem to object to his moves, she asked to do lunch with me and discuss my relationship with him. She thought of herself as his manager."

"I'd hate that sort of intrusion," Mia agreed and patted Ana's hand.

"I wanted nothing to do with Elena, as I couldn't stand her meddling. The strange thing is that at first, Christian didn't see anything wrong with it." My guilt meter started ticking when Ana made that observation. I guess I really was bamboozled by Elena, once upon a time.

Mia nodded her head with sympathy. "But, eventually, he came to feel the same way."

"Your story about the two of them is so reassuring. I'm more than relieved to hear about what he decided to do about that…awful woman. After we parted, I'd feared the worst. I thought he'd gone over to her side, when he…oh, never mind."

Grace and Mia looked stunned for a moment but said nothing. They must suspect there was more to Ana's disappearance than what seemed evident. Both were smart enough to realize that they shouldn't even go there.

Ana started crying with utter frustration as she reflected on the other issues between us.

"I'm just so hopelessly confused about everything now." She looked about furtively as her eyes darted from my sister to my mother.

Mia jumped in with her usual energy about then. She pulled my wife into her arms and comforted her until the sobs and shaking stopped.

"Are you still upset about my brother, Anastasia? Don't worry. He wants nothing more than to be with you again and loves you with all of his heart. He was devastated today when you didn't even want to see or speak with him. He's here now and just waiting for a word with you."

"Maybe that's how he feels right now. But I just can't talk about everything else that happened between us anymore. Not in my current condition and state of mind, anyway."

"Look, my dear girl. We've upset you and were given explicit directions from the head CAC to avoid doing that. Let's quit speaking of the past."

"That's right. We should focus on the future." Mia agreed with mom as though they'd rehearsed the move. Hmmm. They shifted conversational gears smoothly.

"I'm glad for what you've told me."

"So what's next for you?" Grace asked with her typical motherly concern.

"Once I'm back to normal, I'm going to talk to the folks at SIP about getting my former job back."

"That would be so cool! I know how much you liked working on editing those manuscripts and making decisions about which ones to back."

"Yeah. That's if I can even remember how to vet them anymore."

Grace just chuckled at Ana's silliness.

"I know once your head clears from all those drugs, you'll be a genius at it."

Then visiting hours started drawing to a close. Before my family left, Ana wrote something down on a note card and asked Mia to pass it on to me. I hoped she felt better about our relationship and where it was headed at this point.

Before I knew it, Mia and mom were heading toward the exit. I rushed to where they were walking. I wanted to see the note and knew it had been stashed in someone's purse.

"So how did it go?"

Grace spoke first. "Well, I think we've given your wife a lot to think about. Did you hear most of what we told her about the expose?"

"Yes, I did. Thanks for that. I'm really grateful for your help in getting us back together."

I stared into both Grace's and Mia's eyes with warmth. They both hugged me for a minute.

"Anything for you, bro. You may want to read Ana's note in private, though."

Mia took out the card and handed it to me. Then they walked out the door and left me alone. I took a deep breath in and opened it. Then I gasped.

"We need to talk, Christian. Can you come to the next visitor's hour? Ana."

I felt mixed about the message. The good news seemed to be that she wanted to actually see me face to face. She was thawing. The bad news is that she hadn't signed the card with anything beyond her name. I was hoping for some endearment but got nothing.

A little part of my heart twisted in pain and a sense of longing. My work in bringing her around looked daunting but not impossible. The way I figured it, with Elena out of the picture, my odds had improved significantly from this morning.

I placed the note card in the pocket of my dress shirt, nearest my heart. Then I got on my smartphone and had a dozen roses sent to her room. The message that accompanied the flowers simply said, "I'll be there, tomorow."

**AN: Hope you're happy with how CG got rid of Elena. Should CG put the moves on Ana when he visits or vice versa?**


	7. Chapter 7: Group Therapy

**Ch. 7 Group Therapy**

It' Visitor's Day at Sane Living and I'm here early. The hours between yesterday and today seemed to tick by like an eternity. I couldn't sleep due to my excitement about finally having a real conversation with Anastasia. That thought alone kept me up all night. Several scenarios were rattling around in my head during those long hours. The less I slept, the more bizarre the scenes became in my imagination.

One involved Ana asking me for a divorce and then just walking out on me, when I refused to go along with the idea. Another had her rushing into my arms with absolute joy, telling me how much she'd misjudged me and asking for my forgiveness. It ended with a great sexual hookup along with whispers of her total satisfaction with my performance. The kind that only I could deliver. I knew that one would be a longshot.

A third involved a detailed and horrific explanation about how Jack held her captive and doped her up for the past year. A fourth one had us both sobbing and holding each other for comfort. The list went on and on until I started mixing up the joyful reconciliation with a breakup and vice versa. Fuck that craziness. I just wanted the real thing to happen.

I prepared myself for the worst but hoped for something reasonable. Since I still had an hour before official visiting time started, I wandered around the rehab center. Eventually, I found myself in the room where all the cameras and recording devices were located. That's when I noticed that my girl was currently with her group and they were having a discussion about recent events. Kristen sat on her left and Brandon hugged his knees while sitting too close to her on the right. They were in a circle with about ten other residents. It was therapy time.

Aunt T was speaking. "Let's go round dah circle and hear 'bout your visits with kin on Sunday." She gestured to the person on her right with a sideways nod of the head. That would be Kristen.

"I saw my mom yesterday and it was good. In fact, it was more than alright. She told me how much she'd be there for me and even agreed to let me move back in with her. She'd kicked me out of her home when I started stealing from her a few months ago. I guess she trusts me again. Or wants to."

Kristen seemed relieved and proud about the visit.

"Dat good, girl. Keep movin' ahead."

Ana gave her a big smile. Kristen gushed with pride and then talked about her plans for finding a job as soon as she was finished with her stint in rehab.

Soon, it was my girl's turn to speak. She looked pleased. "I saw my dad Ray for the first time in a year. He looks well. Just before I left town, he'd been in a car accident. Now dad's completely back to normal. I'm so relieved to see he's fully recovered. I worried that my father could be marked or maimed in some way. I guess I had nothing to fear."

"We have nothin' to fear but fear itself. Anythin' else?"

"My mother and sister-in-law also came to see me. We had a very long talk about something important that happened last year. Everything I thought I knew about the situation turned out to be wrong, in a good way. Now I'm just confused about so much of the past. I feel I should revisit what I thought I knew."

"Tsk-tsk. Shame on you, talkin' bout the past." Good old Aunt T chuckled and chided Ana about looking back. It was all done in good humor though. Everyone in the group laughed then. That broke up the growing tension in the room.

"But in this case, knowing about what actually occurred way back then is a key to what I'm going to do with my future. The truth about the past is the only route to my future. Anyway, I felt as though a weight had been taken off my set of barbells after my visit with the in-laws. A heavy one."

The older group members nodded in agreement with Ana's views about the importance of the past. I couldn't agree more about it. Especially about our past as a couple. Some of the members even tittered about Ana's charming little analogy with weights. I'd always appreciated her way with words. It cheered me to see that her wit was returning along with her health. She was recovering quickly from the hellish year apart from me and that meant something. A lot of it.

"What you goin' to do 'bout it now?"

"Right after group, I'm going to see my…I'm going to see the person who I thought betrayed me."

I wondered why she hesitated about who she was about to see. Was she going to say something insulting about her husband, her ex, or the person who ruined her life?

My heart beat at a steady but intense rhythm. It felt like a drumming session at a men's group. I knew now that our visit would be a make or break confrontation. I decided to let my wife take the lead with our conversation. I took several deep breaths to calm myself and put on my game face.

"Don't you go rehashin' dah past now. Keep you focus on the future."

Ana laughed a little then and said, "Gotcha. Yes ma'am." Then she turned her head expectantly toward Brandon.

He let out what sounded like both a moan and a sigh. "There's nothing to report. I had no visitors." The kid simply hung his head and buried his face on his bent kneecaps. Some of the people in attendance made sympathetic sounds. My wife pulled him toward her for a side hug and said, "Don't worry, I'll visit with you next time."

Brandon's delighted smile let me know that I had some competition. He wanted my woman, there was no doubt about it now. I cursed and even fumed a bit as I gazed at the scene on camera. I couldn't decide if Ana's response was that of a sister or a girlfriend. I knew from my discussions with Tanesha that the addicts were discouraged from having hookups since staying clean was hard enough to do by itself. Nonetheless, their contact drove me crazy with jealousy.

How dare she cuddle with a stranger? I should be the one she was comforting. A pain shot through my gut but I tried to ignore it. This was the new Ana.

The rest of the group therapy session flew by in a blur. I rehearsed what I'd say during our meeting. I couldn't blow it with my wife and our future. So I pushed Brandon's image from my mind.

Finally, it was time for us to meet. My body felt as if it were levitating as I made my way to the door of her room and knocked gently. I'd been waiting for this moment for a year. I had to make it right.

"Come in, Christian." Ana stood in the middle of the room. We spent a full minute just staring at one another. The blush in her cheeks was back and her light blue eyes looked quite clear. At last. My body filled with relief and desire. I couldn't break away from our mutual gaze. The sparks between us felt amazing.

She broke the spell by clearing her throat and smiling at me. Shyly. I nearly passed out from shock. I wasn't expecting friendly Ana to come out and play.

"How are you feeling?" I could hardly get the words out of my mouth.

"Shaky but clear headed. The best I've felt in at least a year. I've got a lot more healing that needs to happen before I'm back to being me. At least, the one you knew."

"That's really good. I'm very happy…I mean about feeling clear."

She let out a giggle then. "How about you Christian?"

"Thrilled to see you Ana. You have no idea." My voice sounded raw even to my own ears.

"I'm pleased to see you again, too. But, I have so many different emotions flitting around in my head just now."

She looked relieved, perplexed, guilty and sad all within a matter of thirty seconds. I wanted to kiss every inch of her face and make it all better. To hold her in my arms would really make my day.

"We both have a lot of unresolved feelings."

"Yeah and I'm certainly not proud of what happened with my situation this year."

"As you said, it'll take time to heal. We'll get there. By the way, you look mighty fine Ana. Beautiful."

She chuckled a little at my favorite phrase to describe her looks. My compliment was sincere. I liked her entire package.

"Thanks. I'm carrying a few more pounds these days but they'll come off." Ana made a disgusting sound in the back of her throat then.

"I like you with more weight on your frame. You look healthier this way."

She snorted a bit at my statement and then looked me in the eye. Then she gave my body and face a careful overview.

"You look amazing as always. That means, really good."

I thought I detected a spark in her eyes as they dallied on my hips and ass.

"I don't feel very good."

For just a second, I wanted Ana to soothe and reassure me with a touch. She changed the topic, quickly.

"I love the orchid and the flowers you sent me. They're so thoughtful and delicate."

"Anything for you, baby."

"So…I'm sure you know what Mia and Grace told me yesterday."

"Oh yeah. I listened to your entire discussion on the security system. I should hire them for my PR team."

Anastasia laughed out loud at that idea.

"I want to let you know how shocked I was with the story of your BDSM confession. I'm also very grateful for the way you handled the situation with Elena."

"Thank you. I can't tell you how relieved I am about that whole mess. She really was the bane of my existence."

"That makes two of us. I'm curious about one of your moves, though."

"Which one?"

"The last one. Why did you help Mrs. Lincoln financially when the law was closing in on her? With liquidating her spa and beauty business. Now she's got money and some means to live it up outside the country. She could still do some damage. Why not let the authorities arrest and try her in the U.S.?"

"Elena's a very clever woman. As long as there's a breath left in her body, she could do harm to others. I imagined that even from prison she'd find a way to manipulate the younger women there. She'd probably set up some sort of woman to woman BDSM club among the convicts. I didn't want her corrupting an already vulnerable population."

"That makes some sense. However, how would it help you or us?" Ana seemed to accept my rationale but I sensed some irritation in her voice as well.

"She could have sent one of her early release jail girls after you or me. My philosophy is that one should keep their friends close but their enemies closer. That is, indebted to you. The way I see it, Elena probably hates that I ruined her world here in Seattle. But the troll won't hold as many grudges against me, if she's got some kind of future in Barbados. I figure she's already found some cabana boy for her personal entertainment and diversion."

"Let's hope he's at least eighteen."

"Amen."

"It's such a relief to know I'll never see her again."

"Me too. But I want you to know more about what happened the night I left you. Can I speak of the past now?"

"A little. Just don't mention the reason for our fight. I can't take that yet."

"OK, I can fully understand the depth of your feelings. Just know this: I never sought out Elena. After you and I parted that night, I didn't go to her."

"Then what was that Blackberry message about? She understood how I felt about the pregnancy? How did she find you?"

"I have no idea how she found me. I went to the bar alone and slugged down shots of Bourbon for an hour. I just wanted to be alone and think about our situation. The woman just showed up. My guess is, from what I learned later, she was stalking me."

"Based on what Grace and Mia recently told me, she'd never given up on the idea of winning you back. What would you expect from someone that focused and determined?"

"For all I know, she had a private eye on me at all times."

"That's quite likely. So why did you even speak with her at the bar? And why the hell did you tell her about our problems?"

She's breathing heavy now and it's not with sexual desire. Ana's feeling real anger. I don't blame her. If she'd called up Jose and complained about my reactions to our pregnancy to him, I'd have tried to beat the living hell out of him.

"Because, Ana, I was in shock about everything."

Things between us were starting to spiral out of my control and the room started spinning as our emotions starting to gain the upper hand. I had to keep it together. I paused, taking in several deep breaths.

"You trusted her. And confided in that woman."

I told myself to calm down. Then I put my game face on again.

"I used poor judgment, there's no doubt. And, she was my confidante for years. My older, wiser, mentor."

"Your lover. You also let her touch you in an intimate way." Ana's voice sounds bitter and the accusation hurts.

"Not really. The truth is she made a pass at me after we talked about my problems. I deflected her moves and left the bar then."

"It certainly didn't look that way to me. She was kissing your lips and groping you in all the right places."

Ana's voice took on a high pitched tone then. She looked as if she was going to really lose it.

"Who showed you this picture or video?"

"It doesn't matter. The point is that I saw the two of you having contact and it was much more than friendly. It was sexual."

"No. You're wrong about that. If there'd been a video of our entire interaction, you might have seen the truth. I didn't allow Elena to seduce me. I resisted her pass and came home to you. Someone took a picture of the witch and me at just the wrong time. I suspect that person was Jack Hyde."

"Perhaps. Still, I can't believe you walked out on me at Escala when I gave you the news about my condition. I was feeling so vulnerable and you just left. What happened to my loving and supportive husband?"

"I was feeling confused and hurt. Nonetheless, I came back to you. You knew I'd been home early that morning."

"Yes. I actually helped you undress and covered you with a duvet. You were too drunk to do more than stumble around. Then the Blackberry slipped out of your pocket, with her message on it."

"I'm so sorry baby. And so wrong for ever reacting the way I did to our…"

"Don't say it."

"Okay, I won't. Just know this: I have never been unfaithful to you. Never. I love you, so much."

"I actually believe you. However, that was more than a year ago. So much has happened to me and us in that time apart. I'm not sure we can ever put Humpty-Dumpty back together again."

"I'd like to try."

"I know you would. But it's too soon for me. I have a lot of my own baggage to work through. Also, I'm not sure you can handle my truth. I carry a lot of self-hatred and guilt now."

"I can imagine some of what you went through, baby. It's not your fault. We have nothing but time on our hands."

"Some of it is my fault. Believe me. You need to hear my half of the story too. You'd be surprised about what really happened during our year apart."

"Not right now, Ana. That can wait." My command seems to settle her right down again.

"Maybe. It'll be part of my recovery."

There's an awkward pause between us. She looks at me with what seems to be longing. My fingers and arms itch to pull her toward me in a hug. Before I act on that impulse, she surprises me with her next admission.

"I do want to say that I was mistaken about a few things. So, I want to apologize to you Christian. I'm so sorry for believing the worst about you."

"About what?"

"For thinking that you were a selfish, one-dimensional man. A money grubbing capitalist."

Her apology just stuns me. Ana's closing the distance between us fast. Now I'm more than pleased at the direction our conversation has taken.

"Apology accepted. What I'm confused about, baby, is why you thought I didn't pay the five million dollar ransom for Mia. Why wouldn't I do something like that for my sister?"

"Like I said, I was confused. When we arrived at the place where Jack had Mia, Elizabeth Morgan went to check on the payment in the trunk of the vehicle she drove. I got out of it and stood facing Jack. She announced that the duffel bags were filled with paper. That there was no cash payment."

"But you went to the bank to collect it yourself. How could that be possible?"

"I thought you'd worked out a switch with the bank manager. I felt I'd been duped."

"So Hyde's co-conspirator, Elizabeth, somehow convinced you that I backed out of the ransom? Then what happened?"

"I heard a gunshot ring out. Jack told me that Elizabeth executed Mia as retribution for your little trick. They said she was dead. That's when I knew I'd blown it. All of it. I started to faint. Then he knocked me to the ground with a blow to my head. He grabbed Leila's gun from my hand. I was out of it, then, for a very long time."

"He took you away, in Mia's place. Now you know what really happened that day. They got their money and dropped Mia off at GEH. Alive and well. You got a life on the streets with Jack."

"I know that deception happened after speaking with Mia. I believed both of them back then because I'd become convinced that you were untrustworthy. When I thought your sister had been killed, I felt like the walls were closing in on me. I was trying to be heroic but my actions resulted in disaster. Everything just cascaded toward the dark side from there. The pain felt endless."

"Oh Ana. They had you hoodwinked in so many ways. Why didn't you trust that your bodyguards would save Mia?"

"I had some misguided idea that I'd be protecting as well as impressing you. I know Jack and Elizabeth lied to me. I felt miserable enough about being rejected and betrayed by you. I thought I could bring you back by saving the day with Mia."

"Then it all came down on you."

"I…I really can't talk about the rest of the loss right now. It's complicated and emotional."

"It's OK. I understand."

"I need to focus on the future."

Ana shuffled her feet then and looked mortified. We gazed at each other for a few seconds more.

Finally, I started speaking again.

"We've covered a lot of territory for one day. Maybe that's where we should leave it. We both made some very foolish decisions around that time. It's not the end of the world though."

"It was the end of my world."

"For a while. It's not the end of our story though."

"I hope you're right, Christian. I still need time to heal and be alone."

**AN: What's Ana's story going to be? And will CG be able to forgive her?**


	8. Chapter 8: Memories

**Ch. 8 Memories**

Recovery seems to be going so well for us. Ana's talking in group today about her future. She's been working out two hours a day and getting closer to Kristen all the time. In my view, the new K has taken the place of her former roommate, Kate. For some reason that I don't know, Kate's been banned from her life. No one's talking and both of them look hurt about their relationship.

Once again, I'm watching from the video room. Maybe these sorts of relationships are the wave of the future. I just don't want them in mine. There's nothing better than skin to skin contact. I miss ours so damn much.

Ana's talking to the group as though they're her family already. I'm just a bit envious. "I've already signed a contract with my former publishing company to return full-time when I've completed my program here at SL."

"You're so much more focused than me." Kristen's already making comparisons with her but in a good natured way.

SL's the acronym her rehab center is known by, among the insiders. My wife seems so filled with ambition today. I hope that attitude will include me. We've been dancing on the doorstep of contact all week.

"Stop it. I can't wait to start reading and editing the work of some very talented writers. I know I can help them polish their manuscripts until they shine. That was my real talent and strength in the past."

Kristen claps a bit about the explanation given. Brandon looks totally impressed and smitten. I wonder what the hell he did before Sane Living opened its doors to the likes of this abandoned kid. I can't imagine that he's any boy wonder. Just a spoiled little rich dude. Maybe I'll help him find a job cleaning the offices in GEH. That should satisfy Anastasia. She can help her little buddy while I put him in his place. How dare he look at my wife that way?

"Do what you love." Aunt T looks pleased to hear my girl sounding so optimistic today. She's encouraging all the group members to think about plans for their work and life outside the facility.

"Where will you live?" My wife's caught the interest of another female group member by then. This one's in her late twenties and looks anxious. Maybe she wants to room with her.

"I'm not sure yet. I've asked my father if I could move in with him…"

"What's stopping you then?"

"Actually, I'm married." She pauses then to let the information sink in, then continues. "But I'm not convinced that moving back in with my husband would be good for either of us. Too much water under the bridge, as they say."

"Oh. That sounds complicated." Various group members cluck their tongues and nod at the comment.

"Yeah. We've both hurt each other so much. And we're working on our relationship but not ready to go at it full throttle again."

"Jus' take you time," is Aunt T's advice. Her comment shuts down the discussion pretty effectively though.

I shake my head at her comment as my stomach drops to the bottom of my gut. I'm encouraged that Anastasia mentioned our progress but also hurting about the fact that she doesn't want to commit to me and us again. I'll need some hypnotherapy to get my sleep tonight. That, and some prescription sleeping pills.

"Paging Dr. Flynn," Ana might quip. I chuckle as I recall her phrase from the past. She used it to characterize my reactions to any number of risks that might crop up in our lives. I loved her smart mouth.

Brandon's mouth puckers up in disappointment to hear of Ana's marriage. I wonder if this is the first time she's ever mentioned me to him. A satisfied grin has already found its way to my lips as I watch his body language. Now he knows that she's been around the block once or twice. She's a married woman with a past, dude. That innocent, sweet face makes my wife look like a clueless sixteen year old.

She's far from that school girl status now. That's what a psycho like Jack Hyde can do to someone when he decides to kidnap them, shoot them up with heroin and ruin their life. We still don't know what happened to end Ana's pregnancy but it must be a doozy of a story because she won't even speak about it with me or anyone else and it's been a while since she started her program.

John Flynn's going to put her in a trance this week and regress her to the early days of the kidnapping itself. I can't wait to discover the real story. However, I figure we'll both be in the deepest pain over it. Once again, I fantasize about turning back the clock. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. It's all about the timing or lack thereof. When it comes to that issue, I'm a total loser.

My timing when walking out of Escala after my wife told me of her pregnancy was lousy. It also sucked that Elena found me drinking at a bar at just the right moment. The timing of the picture that Hyde took of the troll and me in an embrace, really ruined us. The fact that Ana found my Blackberry and read my messages while I was passed out drunk reeked of the worst sort of timing. And, at least as far as our pregnancy was concerned, my timing sucked. Jack's was perfect.

Nonetheless, I've been coming for face to face visits with her every day for the past week. I'm trying to make things work again and focus on the future. I exercise nothing but patience and it's killing me. We discuss our mutual friends and family members. What's been left unsaid is how we feel about one another. We're both walking on eggshells. It's tense. Also, there's been absolutely no physical contact.

Ana's obsessed with the fact that Mia and Jose are going to marry. She's excited about being part of the wedding party. She's ridiculously happy about their future. And, what a future they've got planned.

It seems, my sis wants to have four children. Jose's all for it. I'm seriously jealous. Of course, she's leading him around by the hook in his nose. He wouldn't care what she suggested at this point. That's what love will do to a guy. He'd sign on with whatever crazy scheme she mentioned, as long as he could get into her panties. Making babies would be essential to that move. The leach.

Who am I to criticize, though? Too bad for me that I objected to the idea of my wife's pregnancy last year. What I wouldn't give to re-do that whole interaction. If Ana told me she wanted six children now, I'd agree to it in a heartbeat. At least she'd have a taste of my candy, again and again. That might motivate her to move in with me, at last.

Maybe I ought to suggest adoption and see if my girl warms to the idea. That way, we could be parents together and have a common bond. It might also be one way to get beyond her reluctance to talk about our failed pregnancy. I'm afraid to even whisper the P-word for fear that she'd start using opioids again. Aunt T warned me about that in no uncertain terms. No reminders or memories from the past should be broached for a while.

When we meet, we focus on other topics. Like, the future. We discuss my parents and their plans for the years ahead. Carrick wants to retire and practice pro-bono law in the inner city of Detroit. He's tempting my mom to open a free medical clinic there as well. I've decided that I'd like to rent them a storefront in the area and pay for their staff members as well as security. Then they can both provide their services to the poor and make it work. Plus, that's the city I was born in and where I got my shitty start in life. I'd like to re-do that four year scenario too.

We talk about her career aspirations and what's up with my next merger and acquisition. She's very curious about my latest ideas for GEH. That pleases me no end. We need to discuss our future soon. I'd like to talk about taking her on a nice long vacation, out of the country. I don't want to pressure her though.

On Thursday, John shows up to put Anastasia into a hypnotic trance and probe the recesses of her unconscious mind. He's going to be exploring the memories that she has of her time with Hyde. We need to know exactly how he engineered the reframing of my reputation in her brain. I'm out of sight and watching the interaction on the security cameras. That's the ticket for our future.

Flynn enters the room she occupies and explains more of the hypnotherapy techniques before they begin the process.

"I want to help you recover more of your cognitive and emotional memory from the whole kidnapping fiasco. Is that acceptable to you, Ana?"

"Yes, Dr. Flynn. I want and need to feel complete again. At the moment, I'm lost in a haze about that time period." I'm happy to note that she agrees at once. We've been stuck in the present for far too long.

"A trance state should relax you enough to examine those memories. If it gets too tense, we'll stop. OK?"

"How can you help me with my memory of that time?"

"One technique that works well is hypnosis. Do you know what that involves, Ana?"

"That I would be put into a trance through some of your suggestions. After I'm under, I'd explain what I could recall about what Jack Hyde actually said and did. That is, just after he took me from Seattle?"

"Very good. Yes, I can put you into an altered state of consciousness for a while. The trance enables you to relax deeply and feel less threatened about certain events. You'll be open to suggestions about the past. I'd like you to let the memories bubble to the surface. In a trance state, you're able to separate emotions from the events themselves."

He's looking at my wife, kindly, and speaking in a soothing tone. His face seems full of confidence. I trust him implicitly. Flynn's put me into trances on numerous occasions. From Ana's behavior tonight, it seems she feels the same way. I think we're both relieved.

"What sorts of suggestions will you make to me?" I hear fear in her voice now.

Ana's resisting him somewhat now and I can understand why. Who'd want to recollect that horrible day?

"First, I'll suggest that you're going to feel very calm and light. Then, I'm going to ask you to remember more of what happened that day with Jack, when you arrived to rescue Mia. Do you want to try accessing that information now?"

"Ugh. Not really but…okay." According to what John told me recently, since Ana knows for sure that Mia was indeed saved, she'll be less upset about the details related to the event from the past. Then we can plumb her mind to discover how Jack convinced her to leave with him.

"Let's proceed then. First, get as comfortable as you can on the love seat."

Flynn watches Ana closely as she snuggles into the cushions on her small couch.

"Good job. Now I want you to track the path of my fingers across your field of vision. That's the only thing you should concentrate on for now."

Ana watches John's fluttering fingers move in a horizontal pathway about one foot away from her eyes. He moves them slowly back and forth. Then he repeats the motion three times. Her eyes follow the action with ease. She's getting sleepy.

"On the count of five, I want you to start losing the tension throughout your body." I see her nod.

"One, your muscles are letting go. You feel as though you're floating. Let those muscles relax." John lets the idea sink in for a full ten seconds before speaking again.

I can see my girl responding with trust to John's techniques. She breathes deeply and slumps into the couch further. Her shoulders turn in and her head rolls forward onto her chest after another few seconds.

"Two. Your legs are growing heavier with each breath you take. They feel as though they're being pulled down by gravity. Small weights anchor them to the earth."

At this point Ana's whole torso falls forward onto her knees.

"Three. Your arms reach toward the earth with each breath you take."

Her arms are dangling at the sides of her legs and nearly touch the floor. They look leaden.

"Four. Your head hangs down toward the earth with abandon."

Ana's lovely head hangs down just beside her knees now. She's following each prompt like a good pupil.

"Five. You are completely relaxed now. Breathe, Ana."

She looks so peaceful once she enters the trance. Dr. Flynn lets her enjoy the moment. She's like putty in his capable hands, at the moment.

"When I touch you, I want you to remember what was said and how you felt. OK?"

"OK." Her voice sounds low and disembodied.

"Think back to the time when Jack kidnapped you."

He touches my girl on the shoulder.

"What were you feeling?"

"Confused. Angry. Also, relieved."

The last emotion she mentions gets my attention. Relieved to be away from me, I'm guessing.

"Can you tell us more about those feelings? What did he tell you?."

"Oh, yes. He said…he'd take care of me, now. Keep me away from my lying and cheating husband."

"Now I want you to remember more about what happened after that." Flynn instructs her like a pro.

"I didn't believe him, at first. Not really. He said that Elizabeth was crazy. He wanted no part of her, now that she'd killed Mia."

"How did you feel?"

"Guilty. Afraid that I'd caused Mia's death. But glad that he hated Elizabeth. I hated her too."

"Then what happened?"

"He showed me pictures of my husband with…her. At the bar."

"What did they tell you?"

"My husband was kissing Elena and letting her touch him, down there. That was just after I told him I was pregnant."

"Tell me more."

"I felt betrayed. Hopeless. I knew the clothes my husband wore that day, well. They were the same ones he wore in the picture. Jack wasn't faking the photos. I felt alone and miserable. Our life together was over."

"Keep breathing. Can you tell us more about what happened next?"

"Everything hurt and…I wanted to die."

Tears are streaming down my face as I put myself in Ana's shoes that night and the next day. What an ass I'd been. How could I walk out on my girl, when she'd told me we were going to be parents? Why did I even bother talking with the troll at the bar?

I should have been home celebrating the next phase of our life together. Instead, I was wallowing in self-pity. I'd pledged my undying loyalty and care to her and then turned my back on her when she needed me most. I'm the worst sort of scum.

"What else did Jack tell you?"

"That Christian was never going to give her up. I was better off with him. He really cared and would help me."

"Did you believe him?"

"Sort of. I couldn't trust my husband. He didn't want me anymore."

"Anything else?"

"Jack held me in his arms. I cried so much, until I was numb. He let me cry for a long while. Then he drove us south, for hours. I just couldn't believe how much everything hurt."

"Did he tell you anything else about your husband."

"He said Christian was always going to be confused about things. Jack wanted to take me away from my messed up husband and give me a better life."

"Did you believe him?"

"I didn't know what to think anymore. My world was ruined. I was pregnant. Rejected by the person I trusted most. Mia was dead. My husband was a cheat. I wanted to run away. I wanted oblivion."

"You really wanted to leave with Jack?"

"Yes. I would have left with anyone. Anyone who wanted to help me. I no longer cared. A little while later, Jack told me that he could take away all my pain."

"Did he take away all the pain? All the hurt?"

"Yes, he did. He gave me an injection. After a few minutes, I felt wonderful. No pain, no worries. Just like I was floating."

"So in the first few days on the road, you were happy to be with Jack?"

"Yes. He made everything feel good again. He gave me relief."

Then a shudder ran through Ana's body. Something else was coming to the surface. She seemed uncomfortable with it, even in her trance state.

"Do you want to talk about what you're feeling right now?"

"I wanted the injection every day at first. When we were in San Diego, I tried to stop. Jack wouldn't let me."

"Did he force the drug on you?"

"He said it was for my own good."

"I ran away and hid for a few hours. I tried to call Kate but she wouldn't help me."

"Why?"

"Don't know. It didn't matter because I started shaking and vomiting. It was really bad."

"You were having withdrawal symptoms from heroin. Right?"

"Yes. The withdrawal effects, killed my baby. I didn't know that would happen. I just didn't want my blip to be addicted." That's when Ana started feeling too tense to continue.

"Are you feeling tense now?"

"Yes, I'm scared and want to stop."

"Alright. We can do this another day."

"No, it's too bad. I feel awful." Her body is clearly uncomfortable again. That's not good.

"OK. Now let's think of something pleasant. Think about someone you love."

"Good, okay."

"I want you to tell me about something that made you feel good. Recently."

Then she says a word that stuns and encourages me.

"Christian. It feels good to see him every day."

"How so?"

"He cares about me, now. He pays for my therapy. He visits me all the time."

Flynn lights up with excitement. I nearly pass out from shock.

"What do you like about him?"

"He's gentle and kind but…so sad. I want to help him."

"I want you to relax more. Think about all those good things, for another minute."

"OK."

She's smiling while those thoughts, about me, get reinforced in her mind. I could literally hug John for what he's done for me and my wife. Of course, I'd never touch him in reality.

After a few minutes, he decides to bring her out of her trance and back to the present.

"Alright, Anastasia. I'm going to count to five again. As I count, you are going to awaken from your trance. When you regain your focus, you will feel incredibly refreshed. You'll feel great pleasure when reawakening; energized. You will not remember anything about Jack Hyde."

"Yes," she agrees. "I will feel very good."

"One, you are feeling more alert." He pauses to let her consciousness return.

"Two, your arms are lighter."

"Three, your head lifts." At this point, Ana sits up straight for the first time in thirty minutes.

"Four, your legs are free."

"Five, when I snap my fingers, you will awaken and come out of your trance completely."

He snaps his fingers quickly. Ana pulls out of her highly suggestible state of being. Her eyes are clear again.

She looks just fine. Her agitated state from earlier seems to have retreated to the recesses of her consciousness. She's smiling with happiness and looks carefree.

"Seems that our time is up, Anastasia."

"That felt great. What's next?"

"Would you like to see Christian, now?"

"Yes, please. I want to spend time with him."

I smile with delight and shake my head in wonder. Mission accomplished, I think.

Dr. Flynn walks her out to the lobby of SL, where I'm waiting anxiously. My jaw and face feel taut. I know my hair's tussled because I've been running my hands through it. I nearly run to my wife. I hold my arms out to embrace her. She lifts hers to mine. That surprises me.

So I take Ana into my arms and just hold her for a while. I'm tempted to kiss her lips with passion but restrain myself because I fear it might be too much, too soon.

My body floods with more pleasure than I've felt for more than a year. Maybe John's also hypnotized me. Whatever he's done is utter magic. I couldn't be more thrilled.

"Flynn, you're a fucking miracle worker," is what I say to him, under my breath.

"We'll talk later in private, Christian. For now, enjoy yourselves."

He's looking ecstatic as he walks out the door of the facility and leaves us in peace. He should be. He gave me a bonus today. One I wasn't expecting.

"I've missed you so much, baby. Welcome back," I say. I'm nearly whispering into Ana's ear as we hold each other close. That's when her lips find mine and we're lost to one another. At last.

**AN: Now we know a little more about how Jack brainwashed Ana and got her hooked on heroin. Surprised at the outcome of her hypnosis? I thought I'd give you a break from all the angst for a bit.**


	9. Chapter 9: Slipping and Sliding

**Ch. 9 Slipping and Sliding**

I'm on the phone with John Flynn and discussing the contact between Ana and me after the hypnotherapy session from heaven. We had an amazing make out session in the lobby. It felt like old times again as we held each other and French kissed for at least ten minutes. My favorite body part responded with its usual enthusiasm to her nearness. She was pulling me to herself for the first time in a year. She needs me. Wants me.

"Hey John. Just had to follow up on what happened between me and my wife, after you left. All I can say is 'WOW'. You worked your magic on her psyche, dude. We had a great time making out. Thank you."

"Yeah. What happens after a successful hypnosis is relaxation. Anastasia's defenses came down and she let her feelings for you surface. Unfortunately, that behavior will change in a day or so. The walls will come back up. Just so you know."

"Too bad. Maybe you ought to hypnotize her on a regular basis, my friend."

"I can do that but let's hope she gets to that place on her own in the next few weeks. It's important to notice that she still feels drawn to you, under the surface. I have no doubt that she's still deeply in love with you Christian. Given all that's occurred in the last year, though, she's feeling defensive when she's out of the trance state. Vulnerable."

"Her response to my embrace was exactly what I was hoping to see. She held me, kissed me with passion, and even touched my chest. I didn't flinch one bit. I'm encouraged about our future."

"You should be. What surfaced were Ana's true needs. She appreciates you, at this point. As long as we can block or change Hyde's fictions from her wary consciousness, we're on the path to recovery."

"I want to know more about our baby and what really happened with Kate."

"We'll get to that in our next few sessions. Thus far, we've established that her withdrawal from heroin was so severe that it led to a miscarriage. That sort of spontaneous abortion does happen with women who are in the early weeks of pregnancy. The cold turkey phase of addiction recovery is brutal and much too disruptive for a newly formed fetus to handle. All that purging and convulsing does a number on them."

"Poor blip."

"Ana took the miscarriage very badly, it seems. Even under a trance, she was in distress. She blames herself for putting her fetus at risk. The irony is that she was trying to protect it from the heroin by pulling back from the drug. That's got to be the ultimate bad karma."

"Yeah. My body shuddered when I heard how it happened. She had no idea that going clean would jeopardize her pregnancy. I picked up on that cue, loud and clear."

"What shocks me is that her call to Kate, for help, was somehow derailed."

"I know Kate and Elliot were fully aware of the kidnapping situation with Jack at the time, so I don't understand the disconnect. She should have called me or my team immediately. Instead, I got nothing."

"Perhaps your best bet right now is to speak with Kate."

"That might be a bit delicate since she's broken things off with my brother and seems to be going her own way these days. She no longer lives in Seattle, you know."

"Find a way to confront her about Ana's phone call when she was down in San Diego, Christian."

"I'll find some excuse to contact her but it'll be a challenge, considering the fact that she turned Ana away in her hour of need. What the hell could Kate have been thinking?"

"Let's hope there's some reasonable explanation."

"As far as I knew, they were besties and looking out for one another."

"One bit of advice: You should approach the topic carefully since Kate might be rather defensive about how she failed her friend during a crisis."

"I'll get to the bottom of the issue soon, John. In the meantime, how quickly can you put Ana into a trance again? I really enjoyed our encounter. It was incredible. She wanted me in all the right ways. It took all my self-control to let her return to her room unaccompanied, yesterday."

John laughed heartily at my words. "Let's give it a couple of days. We need to know a lot more about the miscarriage as well as what motivated your wife to remain with Hyde for all those months. To get to the bottom of her consciousness, we'll need another trance state. I just don't want her to resist it if she thinks uncomfortable feelings are going to emerge. Then the hypnotherapy route would be useless."

"Staying with him for a year couldn't have been due to his charm and their lifestyle. His pigsty accommodations were never high on Anastasia's agenda."

"I'm guessing it was the escape through drugs and some sort of weird promise or threat."

"My gut instinct says that Hyde tried to convince Ana to divorce me and take half my assets. Perhaps they were planning to marry and leave the country, after the split. Washington's a common property state. He would have known that."

"We'll know soon enough about how he manipulated her in San Diego. She was reduced to a hopeless shell of a person when we found her. Another few months with Jack would have been deadly."

I can't bear the thought of Hyde's marriage to Ana. I decide to end the call with John at that point. So, as soon as I sign off with him, I'm texting Welch.

'Hunt down Kate Kavanaugh and have her contact me ASAP.'

'Right away, sir.'

Two or three hours tick by and there's nothing from either Kate or Welch. I'm starting to worry. By the time it's visiting hours at Sane Living, I've given up. At the moment, I need to keep Anastasia open and receptive to my presence. I repeat the words, 'no pressure' like a mantra as I enter her rehab site. I definitely need to take a course in transcendental meditation.

When she greets me in the lobby of SL today, I can see that things have changed with her. A shield has come down over her eyes. She's even walking and moving with a defensive posture. Damn. As they say, two steps forward, one step back. Maybe she started thinking about the past again.

I decide to turn on my charm by flashing a megawatt smile her way. "How are you, Anastasia?"

She's not buying it and seems to look past me. "OK. I had a bit of a setback this morning."

Her voice sounds distant and cool. She doesn't even smile at me as she leads me to her room. I follow her with nothing but pure determination. At least we're going to have some privacy while we talk.

"Do you want me to leave?" I've asked this because I'm testing her feelings for me in the here and now.

"No. Please stay. I couldn't sleep well last night and kept dreaming about…death."

That's my cue to move in and comfort her. As we sit on the love seat, I take her hand in mine.

"You'll be fine, Ana. You're not dying, you're getting better. Much better."

"Christian, I was so upset with my nightmare last evening that I took some pain relievers overnight. I feel like such a failure. It's a setback."

That revelation stuns me. She's always been so disciplined. The nightmare must have been horrific.

"What? You took a drug? How?" Drugs of any kind are strictly forbidden at SL, even aspirin, unless the staff approve of it.

"Kristen gave me some Tylenol PM. It's nothing all that potent but it's similar to an opioid. It stimulates my brain receptors for pain relief. I'm having some protracted withdrawal symptoms today."

"Like what?"

"The shakes and some diarrhea. I can't eat."

"Did Aunt T give you the OK to take Tylenol PM?"

"No, not really. She'd be upset with me, if she knew. I was just tossing and turning and miserable for hours. The Tylenol put me to sleep, finally. I took a lot of it."

"I don't want you to feel miserable, angel." I don't want to pass judgment on her so I try to offer her support instead.

Then I very carefully pull her into my arms and kiss her on the head. I take a moment to savor the scent of her hair. Ana doesn't hug me back but she doesn't resist either. I guess that means we're in limbo.

I take a deep breath before asking the next question. I know we're in sensitive territory here but it's a crucial moment for us.

"Were you having a nightmare about me or us?"

I ask it while still holding her close. She swallows and then sighs. I just keep holding her as though our lives depended upon it. Maybe they do. When I finally pull back and look into her face, there are tears running down her cheeks.

"What's wrong, Ana? Can you please tell me?"

She's hesitant for a minute then she shakes her head and starts talking. Her voice sounds small and defeated.

"The dream was so real, Christian. I saw an image of the…baby. Our baby. It was floating in the toilet, dead. So small and fragile but perfect. It had tiny little fingers and skin. I stared at it for so long but it didn't move. It was turning blue."

She buries her face in my shirt then and trembles with a heart-rending sound that reflects the bottomless depths of her sorrow.

My gut lurches with pain as I feel for our loss. I imagine the scene in the bathroom. She flashed on the actual miscarriage in her nightmare. I really wish our therapist was here to deal with the unconscious material that he dredged up at their last hypnotherapy session. I wish I could call him to speak with Ana over the phone but that's just not feasible, at the moment.

It's time to man up and the ball is very clearly in my court. So, I take a deep breath and deal with the trauma at hand. At least as much as I can, given my correlative grief. I'm shaking all over from emotion and uncertainty. I stare into her lovely blue eyes and then blurt out.

"I'm so sorry, angel. It's not your fault." She pulls herself up and looks into my eyes then. A look of disbelief crosses her face. Ana doesn't agree what I've said for one second.

The idea that our baby ended up in a toilet as a result of my stupidity, and Hyde's heroin injections, make me so angry and frustrated that I could combust. I wish I could shoot up heroin myself right now. I also feel the urge to shout and swear. But I know that's the absolute worst reaction I could possibly show to my wife just now. I need to be strong for her and for us.

I think about the fetus, floating in blood and water, as it died. Hot, angry tears begin to sting my eyes when I get in touch with my feelings of unending loss. I pull Ana toward me to kiss her eyelids with reverence then I move to her very moist cheeks. I rub her gently on the back.

She softens in my arms at last and hugs me back a little. "I didn't want to lose the baby. It just happened, suddenly, when I tried to stop using my wonder drug. Jack told me it was for my own good. I should have listened to him."

I feel rage shooting through my chest at the mere mention of Hyde's name. I'm still stunned that Ana thinks he was somehow working on her behalf. She'll need a lot of hypnotherapy to admit that he was the source of her addiction and had no interest in her welfare.

After she speaks, the floodgates holding back her emotions open up entirely. Anastasia's now crumpled against my chest and crying with an intense grief that I've never witnessed before. I'm stroking her back and embracing her as much as possible. Given her posture, it's proving to be difficult to soothe her. I'm also sobbing right along with her.

The first thing that comes into my mind is the truth. "You were just trying to do the right thing. You didn't want our child to be deformed or addicted."

I'm running on pure gut instinct here and breathing slowly. In fact, each of my breaths seem to sear my lung tissue. That's because I'm in utter agony about our baby, too. We were going to be parents. The fetus was a symbol of our love. It pointed the way to our future. It's gone now. Forever. Flushed down a toilet.

Then Ana sits up and looks me straight in the eyes. Her face seems contorted with pain. It's soaking wet from her tears and her hair is everywhere. Snot is running from her nose. I don't care what she looks like. I love her with all my being.

"I was wrong about so many things, Christian."

My voice sounds disembodied and weak. "We were both wrong, baby. But let's focus on the future."

"Like what?"

Her question sounds more than sarcastic. I know she's burning with anger right now and I must find a way to deflect it. She's turned the frustration and grief of her mistake from inside herself to outside. That's the difference between depression and aggression. Now, her anger's directed at me. I can take it.

"Like everything. Getting you well, back to work, and giving you time and space to heal."

The tension that I can feel pervading her body begins to cease immediately. I've said just what she wants to hear. I meant every word of it. I wanted to add so much more but I restrain myself with difficulty.

"Yes, I need to move on from this setback, as Aunt T says. My life really is under my own control. I call the shots."

"That's right, baby. Whatever you think is best."

I'm assuring her of something that I don't know the answer to at the moment. I'm not sure what she thinks is best at this point, but I'll find out. In time. I take a long breath in and think about being patient.

She's quiet for a few minutes as she sits up beside me on the couch. "I'm not sure what's best for us anymore."

I know what I'd like to say at the moment but what comes out instead is a phrase that I'm assuming won't pressure her in any way.

"Neither am I."

That surprises her since her head snaps back. She gives me a small smile then. Score ten for me. Before I know it, I'm wishing her good night and heading toward the exit of her room. I feel as though I've just performed one of the most important acting gigs of my life. I've perfected my game face in business. Now I'm using it with my wife. It's the key to our future.

By the time I reach Escala, I gasping in pain. Knowing more about the anguish Ana experienced and sharing the loss of our little blip rents my heart in two. At least we mourned it together and held each other. In my view, that's much better than having her relive it in the midst of a trance. I know I ought to call John immediately and ask his advice but I can't take the emotional hit right now.

When I reach my bedroom, I see that I've had a message from Welch. It reads:

'Found Kate Kavanaugh. She's not talking but glad to know Anastasia's in good care.'

'WTF?' is my heated response. Welch replies in seconds but it's not encouraging.

'KK says she can't talk about it.'

'I want to see her, soon.'

'Here's her contact number: 909.657.4309'

The idea of having a voice to voice with Kate Kavanaugh drains me of all motivation for a while. She's been a real bitch to Elliot in the last year. She broke things off with him about nine months ago and started getting really moody. Then she found a job in Portland and moved away. From all accounts, she threw herself into her career with a vengeance that none of us understood. Then again, that's her signature style. She's as intense as I am.

Instead of calling her, I strip off all my clothing and head straight to my shower for a nearly scalding cleanse. I think I'm making progress with the reconciliation of my marriage. We're sharing the most difficult crisis of our life and grieving together, at last. She's letting me hold and soothe her. The day before yesterday, both of us felt our sexual sparks again. I just can't let anything disturb the delicate balancing act of our budding relationship right now. Especially someone by the name of Brandon.

If Ana wants to live with her father and date me, I can deal with that. Of course, I'd prefer that she use Escala as her home base. She could stay in the spare bedroom. Even then, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of her lovely body and we both know that for a fact. So maybe she's got a point about staying at Ray's place while she gets her life back on track. I smile as I contemplate how I'll woo her back to me with various adventures and treats. Dating certainly has its advantages.

When I leave the shower and dry myself off, I see that Kate has actually left a message on my smartphone. All it says is:

'Don't judge me too quickly.' I try her phone but it goes to voice mail so I leave a message.

'We need to talk.'

She texts back a terse response.

'Yes. Tomorrow. I will call you.'

I take a very deep breath and try to resist driving down to Portland myself. I have to be patient. Maybe Kate's got another secret she's hiding. Maybe she had a baby with Elliot and doesn't want anyone in the family to know. I laugh at the absurdity of that thought. She'd never allow that sort of event to interfere with her career plans. Perhaps she's been blackmailed. Whatever it is, I'll just go with it. I don't have a choice anyway. Tomorrow is another day.

**AN: Encouraged that CG and Ana are talking about the miscarriage? What do you think is going on with Kate (and Elliot)? **


	10. Chapter 10: Surrogacy

**Ch. 10 Surrogacy**

I'm in my office pacing like a panther on a thick tree branch when the call from Kate Kavanaugh finally happens. It's 3pm in the afternoon and I've been anxious all day. I'm relieved when I hear her voice.

She starts the conversation and keeps it moving forward. That's good. I'm so pissed with her I'd probably break down and start cursing. But I restrain myself and listen, for a change.

"Hi Christian. I know it's been a long time since we spoke. I need to get straight to the point about something."

"Alright. I want to know what happened when Anastasia called you last year, from captivity."

The tone of my voice is caustic and sharp. I'm not taking any of her shit and she knows it.

"Listen, Grey, don't' get testy with me. Here's the deal. I'm nine months pregnant and about to give birth…to her child."

That news knocks the wind out of me. Not only is it unbelievable, but it's also totally unexpected. What the hell?

"You and I both know that's not possible, Kate, so quit yanking my chain. Ana lost our child to a miscarriage while she was going cold turkey from her heroin addiction. Besides she's been gone a year."

I'd like to add the words 'lying bitch' to the end of that phrase. But I suspect it's Elliot's child that she's about to bring into this world. Kate must have gone off her head when they broke up. That means she's going to give birth to my relative. I wouldn't want to jeopardize the relationship with a niece or nephew. Plus, my mother would have my balls if I alienated the mother of her grandchild.

I hear a long snort on her end of the phone and then a huff.

"Is that what they told you? If so, you're hopelessly confused. It's much more complicated than that."

"That's what Ana told me recently. She had a bad dream and saw our baby's lifeless body floating in the toilet. She lost it during a heroin withdrawal."

"She may have miscarried your child. But when we spoke, she wanted me to do her a favor. A big favor."

"Who've you been talking to?"

"Well with Ana, just once. Mostly, I've been in contact with Elizabeth Morgan. Jack worked strictly behind the scenes. I never saw or spoke with him at any time."

"Maybe Liz did one on you, Kate. Ever consider that?"

"Of course, you stubborn jerk. I'm the one who's pregnant. Plus, I've had DNA testing done. The baby has Ana's genes. Jack supplied her gene sample and it's been verified by the clinic."

"God, no. How is that even possible?"

"Ever heard of petri dishes, surrogacy and implantation? That's how."

"Yes, of course. But why would you agree to carry her baby?"

"Ana asked me to help her. And, explained that she was hooked on heroin."

"What else did my wife tell you?"

"We didn't talk long. Basically, she said she never wanted to see you again. That she was now with Jack. It was her choice. She wanted to get married, once the baby was born. I was to work with Elizabeth, our mutual contact."

"Why didn't you call me immediately, Kate? My team could have rescued her."

"Let me explain, Mr. Control Freak."

"It had better be good."

"Oh…it is, dude. So I'll tell you. Ana asked me to keep her confidence and made me promise. I gave her my word."

"If you knew she was an addict, why would you even take her seriously?"

"Life is complicated, Christian. Better her than you. I knew that you tried to force her into a BDSM relationship with you, early on, when she was still my roommate. She was naïve enough to go along with your sick shit. And the world now knows what happened with you and Elena Lincoln."

"It wasn't like that with us. I gave all that BDSM crap up for Ana."

"That's what you say now. I remember when we were roommates. You'd get her drunk and spank the living hell out of her. Then you had the nerve to fuck her. You'd leave her in tears, for god's sake. I never trusted you. Just don't go there with the blame game, dude."

"Don't be ridiculous. We were madly in love with one another. I married her. She was my wife."

"True, but there's more to my rationale. Dear Elizabeth implied that Jack might do something desperate if I told you about the surrogacy."

"Like what?"

"Like inject her with a fatal amount of heroin, if I said one word to you. Two, your team obviously wasn't able to find Ana initially. At least not for an entire year. That doesn't inspire a lot of confidence. Jack and Elizabeth knew what they were doing."

"Don't rub it in, Kavanaugh. But we did find Ana, eventually. I put that creep who screwed her up with drugs, in jail. Now we need to find his accomplice."

"I think we should stay on track here. Let me continue. Where was I? Of yes. Three, I wanted to help my best friend. She obviously didn't want you in her life anymore and called you a cheat and liar. Four, I thought I might salvage something of her, in case they did kill her. I tried to cover all my bases…Are those enough good reasons for you, Grey?"

I'm sitting in my desk chair with my head in my hands. To say that I'm in shock just doesn't cover my state of being. I'm feeling weak and overwhelmed with mixed emotions. A slew of possibilities run through my mind about the baby that Kate's about to deliver. If Ana was pregnant with our child when Jack took her, it should have been born by now. Yearlong pregnancies don't happen with human beings. So the miscarriage of my child must have really occurred. But, Jack wanted her to have a child anyway.

"Holy shit! Who's the father then?" I have no doubt who made the donation of sperm but want to find out what Kate knows.

"Don't know for sure. We haven't had any testing done of the father. Jack's DNA should be easy to obtain, now that he's in jail. Of course, yours could be tested as well."

"Don't be absurd. It certainly won't be my sperm."

This child, born of Kate's surrogacy, was created in a lab's petri dish then. Jack used Ana's egg and, most likely, his sperm to start the process. Then a lab transferred the fertilized zygote into Kate's uterus.

"Why would they even want to dream up a crazy scheme like this?"

"You're the billionaire. Figure it out. I'd say gobs of money, for starters."

"Elizabeth must have shared something other than threats with you. Any clues?"

"They had enough cash to pay for my dilation and implantation, down in Portland. The funds probably came from Mia's ransom. In other words, your money."

"What were you going to do with the baby?"

"Elizabeth said they'd take baby X as soon as it was born. I assumed Ana would raise it, with Jack."

"What the hell? You'd allow Elizabeth to turn the infant over to a drugged out heroin freak?"

"Jack wasn't on drugs, right? I was trying to keep Ana from an untimely death. A baby might give her a reason to recover and something to live for. After all, she claimed that she wanted to marry Jack. Maybe he'd changed. I don't know. There was no contact with him, at any time."

"After you agreed to the implantation, you split up with Elliot. What happened?"

"We were going through some changes anyway. He was starting to pressure me into a more permanent relationship. I didn't want him to think the pregnancy was his child. If I went through this sacrifice for my friend and kept the baby from you, I knew he'd never be able to keep the thing quiet. Elliot's too impulsive to keep his lips sealed."

"No one knows about your pregnancy then?"

"Some people know. Like, my mother. But she's keeping the secret. Ethan knows but he's no longer with Mia and wouldn't tell a soul. My family's very loyal."

"Your family's been helping you out with this whole development?"

"Yes, of course. I've been working on the internet as a blogger and earning decent money but dad supplements my pay. Plus, Elizabeth Morgan gave me $100,000 to be a surrogate. That's the least I can do to help out Ana."

"I still don't understand why it was so important for her to have a child."

"Maybe they wanted Ana to think that it was your child. Or, even better, that you'd pay millions to have them both back in your life."

"Your talk reeks of speculation. I can't take any more of this information. All I can say is, let me know when you go into labor. I'm bringing Ana along to see you give birth."

"Hey, since she's back in your filthy hands now, maybe she can tell you more about her plans to marry Jack. Or isn't she talking about that yet?"

"Stop it, Kate. I know my wife really loves me. Whatever she told you was fabricated by Jack. Maybe you weren't even talking to the real Ana but someone who faked her voice."

"I'd know my best friend's voice in a heartbeat, Christian. She may have been drugged up but I spoke to Anastasia Steele that day."

"When did she call you anyway?"

"When? I'd say nine or ten months ago. She sounded desperate. Asked me to help her. I did and now I'm about to have her baby. If you can't accept that truth, you need to do a lot more talking with your very confused wife."

"Ok, enough. I'm certainly going to speak with her about it. She needs to recover from her addiction though, before we dredge up all this shit."

"Well, I think Ana needs to know that her baby's about to make its appearance in a couple of weeks. She may not have fully recovered from her PAWS but she'll have to deal with it."

"She hasn't mentioned anything about your pregnancy or the promises made. I wonder if she even remembers the whole conversation."

"She'll remember, I'm sure. Ana insisted on going over and over the issue that day. Just give her some time. Don't stress her out too much Christian. She's been living in a dream world for far too long."

"I've got a great therapist working with her right now. We'll motivate my angel to recall her conversation with you in much more detail."

"You do that. I'd really like to see her at my bedside, after I've given birth. After all, half of the child's filled with your wife's DNA. Further, I can't wait to turn the child over to its real mother."

"That's a good point, Kate. If what you've told me is true, then I owe you an apology. You're a good friend and more than generous to have carried her baby to term. I never thought you cared that much about anything but yourself. You've grown a heart. Thank you for doing so much for Ana."

"You're welcome, Grey. Now go back to her and get her well."

"Will do. In the meantime, what's happened to Elizabeth Morgan?"

"Who knows? She quit calling around the time Ana showed up in Seattle with you. I was terrified to call anyone, at first. Welch finally got through to me, with my mother's help. He explained what went down with Jack Hyde and her in San Diego. That was around the same time that Elizabeth disappeared from my life."

"Just a bit of a coincidence, eh? Did they actually pay you for your pain and suffering?"

"Most of it. I've got $80,000 in my bank account. Elizabeth gave it to me in cash. The final $20,000 is due upon delivery, literally. That's happening in three weeks."

"Well you can bet the balance won't be paid. I'll cover the rest of what they owe."

"Don't bother. It's on me. I'm just happy Ana's back and able to function again. I guess I can thank you for that, Grey."

"Ana should be thrilled to have her baby, at last. She felt utterly bereft about the miscarriage. And cried with heartfelt grief over the loss. I'm guessing the infant will give her another reason to recover."

"I agree. She wanted it very badly. Desperately. That's why I agreed to this proposition in the first place. I feared that if I turned her down, she might kill herself. Her voice sounded hopeless and strained the only time we spoke. I think she was pulling at straws, when she called."

"Well, I need to see my girl and work with our therapist on this latest twist in our story. All I can tell you, Kate, is that I love Ana from the very depths of my soul. Trust me on that."

"I hope what you say is true, Christian. I'm trying to trust you."

"If you can trust anyone, it would be me. We'll talk soon. In the meantime, all the best with your birthing experience."

"The pregnancy's been easy. I didn't show for six months. My OB-GYN thinks everything looks great. Mom tells me that I'll probably give birth easily because of my wide hips. Just like hers. Ethan and I slipped right out. She was in labor for less than an hour."

"Good luck nonetheless. I'll try to break the news to Ana in the least shocking way possible."

"Don't worry. I'll be in touch. By the way, ask Ana if it's alright for me to visit her at Sane Living. I've been on the forbidden list."

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Let's give it a couple of days or maybe a week. For some reason, she thinks you let her down."

"I'm guessing Jack and Elizabeth never told her about my surrogacy and the successful pregnancy."

"I'd love to know what that's all about. My next priority, after Ana, involves tracking down Elizabeth Morgan and getting her side of the story."

"Good luck with that."

**AN: Hope you think well of Kate, after what she's done for Ana. What do you think Jack and Liz's plans really were for the baby? Other reactions?**


	11. Chapter 11: Investigations

**Ch. 11 Investigations**

The conversation with Kate leaves me uneasy and cold. It's difficult to believe that she'd go along with Elizabeth and Jack's plans for a surrogate birth. And, it's totally at odds with what Ana told Flynn and me while she was last in a trance. I'm not buying her story. Maybe I wasn't really speaking with Kate Kavanaugh (or as I say in texts, KK or double K) on the phone. Could Elizabeth Morgan have faked her voice?

So I call my private detective, Welch.

"Can you check out a story I just heard from double K? Something's quite strange about her motives. She wants me to bring Ana to the hospital in a couple of weeks to see her newborn. She's giving birth as a surrogate. Claims that it's Ana's zygote. But I'm guessing Jack Hyde's the father. Personally, I think Kate's story is total bullshit. Get to the bottom of this thing. See if she's really pregnant and who she's been in contact with recently."

"We'll be tailing Ms. Kavanaugh night and day, sir."

The next call goes to John Flynn. "I need you to put my girl in a trance as soon as possible. I had a disturbing phone call from her former best friend. Unlike what Ana told us the other day, Kate says that they had a long talk when my wife called her. Furthermore, she somehow convinced double K to be her surrogate birth mother."

John's initial reaction is a loud guffaw. "That does sound strange. During our last hypnotherapy session, your wife seemed to indicate that she made a singular yet disappointing call to her friend. She claimed that Kate didn't give her any help at all. I'd be more than suspicious about this new information."

"Get this. Kavanaugh now says that Ana wanted to marry Jack. She begged KK to carry their surrogate child to term. Apparently, my girl went over the details quite a few times with her. Eventually her pathetic pleas convinced double K to be inseminated with the zygote from hell. The story is just too bizarre."

"It doesn't wash, Christian. You're right to be skeptical. I'd say someone's got Kate Kavanaugh in a corner. They've got some dirt on her that won't wash off. So they're manipulating her. She may be drawing you into a trap."

"It's Hyde and his real partner, Elizabeth, who are calling the shots with Kate. Maybe they're blackmailing her and hoping to lure Ana and me to the hospital. Perhaps Elizabeth wants to make another attempt at nabbing my wife or shooting me. That's why I need to get Anastasia talking again and soon."

"This topic might be very difficult for your wife to dredge up from her unconscious. If it's true that she spent a lot of time convincing her best friend to carry her surrogate child, we should have learned something about it. At least, the only time she was under hypnosis. Something's very wrong here."

"I'm on high alert right now. We'll put extra security outside of Sane Living. My guess is that Morgan's found some way to frighten the hell out of double K."

"I'll call Ana's CAC, Tynesha, and see what we can set up tonight or tomorrow with your significant other."

"Yes, please John. I'd trust Ana's memory a lot more than Kate's at this point."

And that's how I found myself sitting in her room at SL the next afternoon, with Flynn at her side. I went in first and greeted her with a hug. She seemed receptive to my embrace and even rubbed my back. I noticed a spark of joy in her eyes after we were done. That got my bad boy twitching again. It's been so lonely without our familiar connection.

Then John knocked on her door and came in. He spoke in the gentlest tone of voice with my very traumatized wife. She looked confused and uncertain at first.

"We're going to attempt another hypnotic trance today. Would you like that, Ana?"

She nodded her head tentatively. I gave her my hand and squeezed it. Then I turned to look into her eyes. Eventually, Ana smiled at me with joy. Maybe she recalled all those good feelings that Dr. Flynn unlocked during the last hypnotherapy session. I certainly hope we're heading in the right direction today.

And then session number two of her trance began.

"Once again, I need you to watch the path of my fingers across your field of vision. That's what you'll concentrate on exclusively, right now. OK?"

She looks at him and nods. Ana cooperates with his command by tracking Flynn's fingers across their horizontal pathway as before. Her eyes follow every motion with precision. I can understand why she was such an excellent student at the university. She's able to focus and concentrate with acute intensity. After three passes of his hand, she's moving into her relaxed but dazed state.

"On the count of five, I want you to start melting into your cushions. Release the tension throughout every muscle in your body."

I notice her body letting go of its defenses almost immediately. She really trusts John. That reassures me of his skill and our need for his guidance.

"First, your shoulders are letting go. You feel as though you're floating on the water. Let those neck muscles give way…Breathe. Slow and steady but not too deep."

John lets his confident but quiet commands work their magic for at least fifteen seconds.

She breathes as suggested and slumps into the couch further. Her shoulders turn in and her head rolls forward onto her chest after another few counts. As he walks her through the standard five step countdown, she's getting progressively more grounded. Literally. Her head, arms and upper body have collapsed onto her thighs. Then, she's letting gravity pull her head toward the floor.

By the time our therapist reaches five, she's completely under and in a trance.

"Breathe slowly, Ana."

She looks happy and content once her trance takes hold of her mind. Flynn lets her glory in an utterly relaxed state for another minute or so. She's open to whatever idea he suggests, at the moment. He could ask her to mewl like a kitten and she'd be rubbing up against his leg and sounding off, in a flash.

I have an image of her licking my favorite body part while in that role and get tented at the very idea. There are some fascinating possibilities for our sex life in that kitten mode for the future.

"When I touch you on the shoulder, I want you to remember what happened when you called your friend Kate Kavanaugh. That is, when you were in San Diego and trying to get yourself some help. OK?"

"Yes. When I was off my drug." Her voice is barely audible. There's an undertone of sadness in it.

John lightly pushes his index finger into her flesh. I'm breathing hard now as I watch her regress in time and space. What she reveals next will determine exactly how we're going to proceed with Kate's presumed pregnancy and birthing experience. I've got to know the truth about this situation or she's off our friend list, forever.

"Think back to when you called her that day. When you were in pain from withdrawal. Breathe."

He nudges Ana on the shoulder again, gently. She's completely relaxed and calm.

"What were you talking about with your friend, Kate?"

"I told her I needed her help; that I was hooked on drugs."

I take in a breath myself and I imagine the scene. Ana was probably calling on a Trac Fone and hidden away in some alcove of the ghetto once she escaped from the psycho dude, Jack Hyde.

"What did she say about your call for help?"

"She cried, at first. Said it was great to hear my voice. But, she really couldn't help me."

"Did she tell you why she couldn't help?"

Ana hesitates for a few second and then spits out a revelation. "Her hands were tied. She was…compromised."

The last word my girl mentions confirms my deepest fears. Elizabeth must have dug up some dirt on double K and put her in a quandary.

"Can you tell us more about that?"

"She didn't talk much. Just said she was so very sorry."

"Did you ask her to help you with something in particular?"

"Yes. I needed to get away from the drug and…from Jack."

"Why did you want to escape from him?"

"He gave me too many drugs and…then he started calling me names."

"Why did he give you those drugs?"

"Because I was so sad about…everything."

"Tell me more."

"I cried all the time when the drugs wore off."

"What did you cry about?"

"About…Christian."

"Was Jack going to help you leave your husband?"

"Oh yes. He said he'd marry me. He would take me to Mexico and we'd be happy."

"Now I want you to remember more about that part."

Flynn directs my wife like an orchestra. His voice is calm but firm. She's starting to get a little restless.

"Did you want to go away with Jack? Marry him?"

"No, I didn't. Not right away. He said that I could divorce my husband and be rid of him. We'd get a lot of money. Move to Cabo San Lucas. We'd live on the beach and have babies."

"How did you feel about that?"

"I didn't want to go with him. But I was afraid to say no to him."

"Did he hurt you? Hit you?"

"He didn't hit me but he hurt me."

"How did he hurt you?"

"He called me names, after a while. And, I don't think Jack really wanted to marry me."

"Why did you think that? That he didn't really love you."

"He never kissed me or made love to me. Not at all."

That revelation nearly takes the wind out of me. Thank goodness he didn't have sex with Ana. I'm so thankful for that move on Jack's part that I practically collapse on the floor. The psycho at least had the sense to leave her alone. She's mine. Only mine. He didn't touch her. Maybe Hyde's got a shred of integrity after all.

However, I can hardly believe that Jack was being virtuous about not having sex with my wife. Maybe he was saving himself for Elizabeth. Is it possible that they were a couple? The abstinence on his part must have been about his attempt to manipulate my woman, once again.

"Did you want him to make love to you?"

I nearly punch Flynn when I hear his question. How dare he mention Ana's sexual needs. Of course she wouldn't have had any desire for Jack. She never did.

Besides, why would she have any sexual desire for another lover? Why would she want anyone besides me? I know she thinks I'm an experienced and great lover. She used to call me her sexpert. There's no doubt she was absolutely over the moon when we connected. How could that creep possibly compete with my skills?

At the same time, I'm utterly fascinated to hear my wife's response.

"No. I told him I was pregnant. I didn't want to make love with anyone."

"And he respected your wishes?"

"Yes. He said he wouldn't touch me until after we were married. He wanted to make sure that I was really his, after the divorce. After we had the money."

"Keep breathing calmly, Ana. Can you tell us more about what happened next?"

"Everything went wrong after that. Kate couldn't help me. I lost my baby because I didn't take my injections. Jack was mad about that. He was really mean to me after the miscarriage."

"How was he mean to you?"

"He called me stupid. Then he made me wait to get my fix."

"How long did he make you wait?"

"Until I begged for it. I would sweat and shiver for a couple of hours before that. He wanted me to suffer because I lost that baby."

"Anything else?"

"He told me that I had to eat before he'd give me the drug. He bought me food once a day from Mickey D's. Supersized. I had no desire to eat. No appetite. He made me swallow it all."

"Why did he want you to eat that kind of food?"

"He didn't want other men to look at me. That's what he said."

"That's why he wanted you to gain weight?"

"So that I'd be ugly and slow."

"Did he tell you that?"

"That's what he called me. Ugly and slow."

My hands are balled into fists as I listen to the horror of what Ana went through under Jack's direction. How dare he insult my beautiful girl and try to ruin her wonderful figure. Maybe I ought to pay someone at the jail to rough him up a bit.

"When did he want you to divorce…your husband?"

"After a year. He was getting the papers together."

"Did he discuss how you were going to divorce Christian?"

"I was supposed to call his lawyer and talk."

"Why didn't it happen?"

"I didn't want to divorce my husband. I wasn't ready."

"What did Jack say to that?"

"He said I'd be begging for the divorce papers when I didn't get my fix."

"But he made you wait for the divorce anyway. Why didn't you call someone in your family when you were in need of help?"

"That would never be allowed again. After I snuck away that one time, he didn't let me out alone for a long time…Not until just recently, anyway. Jack was waiting for something else to happen."

"Do you know what that, something, happened to be?"

"I don't know for sure. I think it had to do with another baby."

"How do you know that?"

"I heard him talking on the phone at night to someone. He talked about a birth that was going to happen."

"But not your baby?"

"Oh no. Never. My baby was…flushed down the toilet."

At that point, Ana starts to whimper a bit. The tension's starting to return to her body. Flynn decides that we've explored enough of her unconscious experience for one day.

"OK. We're going to return to the present. I want you to think of something pleasant from the past. Something very good."

"Alright."

"Think about something or someone you love."

"I am thinking about…him."

"Who are thinking about right now, Ana?"

"My husband, Christian."

I'm so relieved to know that Ana's focusing on our good times from the past. She desires me and what we once shared together. Somehow, my wonderful therapist has helped her access the best parts of her unconscious mind. That includes her love for me. He's definitely getting a raise.

"Are you happy to be with him again, now?"

"Yeah. He's nice to me and kind."

"Let's bring you back to full consciousness then. Your husband's waiting for you."

"Good."

"I'm going to count to five, slowly. When I click my fingers, you're going to feel completely happy and content. OK?"

"Okey-dokey."

Ana agrees and even giggles a little at her silly little verbal phrase. She talks like a six year old.

Flynn gives her the five count prompts and then clicks his fingers together. That ends her trance-like state. She slowly sits up again. My wife's alert and smiling as she comes into her own mind once more.

My heart's beating in double time as I stare at her face. A smile that I can't control takes over my lips and face. We look into each other's eyes. She bats hers at me. That's all the motivation I need. I'm sitting next to her in a nanosecond.

Flynn shakes his head and chuckles as I wrap my arm around her in a protective gesture.

"Can I hold you, baby?" My voice sounds needy and tentative as I broach the topic. I want to soothe her for all the pain she endured while we were apart. Jack nearly ruined her spirit.

"I'd like that, Christian."

We sit together with my arm around her shoulder and my lips caressing her forehead for a few minutes. She's so relaxed and comfortable in my hold that I could sing. I'm delighted in every way with her behavior toward me today.

John clears his throat after he's watched us for a minute.

"Looks like I should be going now. I'll give you both some privacy."

"That sounds good," I agree at once with his suggestion. I can't wait to get her alone.

Then I whisper in my wife's ear. "Can I kiss you now?"

"Do you think I'm ugly and slow?"

"Of course not, baby. I think you're beautiful and bright. Once this hideous drug clears your system for good, you'll be sharper than ever. Don't ever let anyone tell you different."

"Thanks. I think you're very hot and sexy."

That comment sends a real thrill through me. My wife still wants me. Thank goodness that Hyde didn't extinguish her desire for my body.

"You haven't answered my question, baby."

"I'd like you to kiss me a lot, right now."

"Only if you'll kiss me back."

"Of course I will. But not for too long."

"Why is that? Is there a limit on visiting hour kissing?"

I'm joking as I move in to consume those luscious lips. Especially her thick bottom one.

"No. It's just that I'm afraid we won't be able to stop with just a kiss."

"Don't you want to do a little more than lock lips?"

"Right now, I just want to enjoy your mouth and your lips, Christian."

"Coming right up, baby."

Making out with Ana on her couch, even for a little while, is all the reward I need or want just now. We're lost to one another as my tongue finds its way toward hers. She's more than eager to wrestle tongues and a few touches today. I'm huffing with desire while she's moving around in my arms with an eagerness I haven't seen in a year.

Thank you, Dr. Flynn, is all I can think as I nibble gently on her full but eager mouth. My hands are all over her full curves. She doesn't seem to mind. I'm ecstatic as I wallow in our make out session.

**AN: What sort of dirt do they have on double K? What's really going on with the baby?**


	12. Chapter 12: Seduction

**Ch. 12 Seduction**

Visiting hours lasted a very long time for Ana and me. By the time I left, she was practically begging me to stay all night. It took all of my self-control to set the limits on our encounter. After all, she's the one struggling to keep her head above water with the addiction to pain killers. Although a little sex addiction wouldn't hurt. Hmmm.

"Oh Christian, I've missed you so much." She mumbles out her need for me as I finally push back from a very heated exploration of each other's mouths.

"I know, baby."

"We're married, after all. I'd like to mess around with you."

She uttered the words I'd been dying to hear just after I pulled her onto my lap. We'd finished our lip lock on the love seat. Her hair and clothing were askew after my greedy hands worked them over. That sweet face and alabaster skin looked flushed with color. Hell, I wanted to take her right there and then. My core felt like a coal in the fireplace. All warm and glowing.

"I feel the same way, angel. We should be in your bed making love right now. But you're in a very fragile state here. I don't want to push your feelings too deeply nor trigger another addiction."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I did suggest that we should limit ourselves to making out today. But, maybe…" she says and trails off. She looks indecisive. I can see that she's tempted to take us to the next level. Maybe I ought to sneak her back to Escala with me for a session in my Red Room.

"I want you to be convinced of my love and devotion, Ana. Even though I'd like to spend the night showing you just how much I've missed you, I'll restrain myself. You're still in a post-hypnotic and weak state. I don't want to take advantage of you in any way. Make no mistake about it, though. I find you incredibly attractive."

I want to reassure Ana about the fact that she still looks beautiful to me. Jack the ripper tried to undermine her confidence on every level, including insults about her mind and body.

She licks her lips with need. I smirk at her reaction. This state of affairs makes me utterly thrilled, at the moment. But I need to help her recover from her emotional scars before we start rocking and rolling again.

"I'm going to leave in a couple of minutes. We'll continue to get to know each other again, tomorrow."

I can't tell you how difficult it felt to resist merging with my very willing wife. Aunt T warned me about these kinds of encounters.

"Don't take advantage. They be vulnerable at this stage. It could trigger a setback."

That was her advice about resuming our sexual relationship.

I had to agree with Tynesha. Although I also recalled how utterly amazing and primal our physical attraction to one another happened to be. If there were ever two people who were sexually compatible, in just the right way, it would be the two of us. What happened when we connected could only be described as phenomenal. Talk about losing oneself in the moment. There's no doubt, I needed her desperately.

Ana looked more than disappointed about my discipline and resolve however. She pouted a bit but reluctantly nodded her head in agreement.

"Tomorrow," she whispered.

Her voice sounded weak. I liked that lost and needy look in her eyes. Tomorrow I'd be bringing my condoms. Maybe we could go off site for a few hours and visit a hotel. My favorite body part was getting excited.

However, I had to be the one in control at the moment, dammit. I stood and straightened my wrinkled shirt and creased pants. There was quite a bulge down near my zipper. I'd have to take care of that in private while envisioning her naked body beneath mine. Oh yes!

"Alright, angel. I'm going home now."

My voice sounded disappointed and far away. I cradled her head in my hands as she looked up at me with those adorable baby blues imploring me to stay. Then I pulled her up and into my arms for a final long kiss and hug. Her touch was more than reassuring.

"Good night, Christian."

She gave me her best shy smile and even blushed a bit. I knew she was melting.

"Good night, baby. Sleep well."

She sighed while walking me to the door of her small room. I hoped she'd dream of me.

My sleep would never be right again without her. Not until she was back in my arms all night. There's nothing I liked more than losing myself inside her convulsing walls. And then, falling into a very peaceful and wondrous night's rest. I missed that aspect of our marriage so very much. She provided solace to my own very conflicted psyche like no one else could.

As I left the facility, my smart phone signaled. There was a text from Welch.

"We've been tracking double K and there's no doubt that she's about to give birth."

I opened the attached picture and saw for myself that she wasn't faking anything. KK looked tired and miserable as well as heavily pregnant. I started thinking more about our conversation from a few days ago. She wouldn't be invested in telling me the truth about who knocked her up. However, she did have an interest in seeing my wife. That was the key to unlocking this mystery.

Maybe Ana could get the story from double K. The only problem was motivating my girl to even see her former friend again. How could I possibly make that happen? I needed at least a day to think about what I'd tell my wife.

Therefore, when I visited Sane Living the next time, we spent the entire session discussing Ana's relationship with Kate. I had to share her story since her birthing date was imminent. My condoms remained carefully tucked away in my suit jacket's pocket. I had to keep my priorities straight.

We met in the lobby, at my suggestion. Ana looked healthier and thinner every day. I hope I'd been motivating at least some of her recovery.

After we hugged and kissed for a while, I got focused on what was to become a very strained conversation.

"Baby, there's someone who wants to see you while you're here."

"Jose?"

I knew he was too busy planning the wedding with Mia to care much about Ana. They both knew I was visiting her on a daily basis. Distracted is exactly what I wanted Jose to be. Of course, no one encouraged him to visit. I'd even come close to threatening my sister about keeping Jose away from SL.

"No. Not exactly. It's Kate. She's very sorry about what happened when you called her from San Diego. She wants to talk things out. You'll be surprised if and when you actually see her about what's happened with her."

"I'm not sure I can handle seeing Kavanaugh again. She let me down when I needed her most."

"Can you recall what she said back then about being compromised; that her hands were tied?"

"Yeah. Things are much clearer after my hypnosis sessions."

Ana sighs, takes a long breath and then continues talking.

"The truth is, I'd actually like to know more about her dilemma."

"Well, now's your chance, baby."

"Maybe we can just talk on the phone. That might work best."

"It's up to you. I think there's a lot that she needs to tell you. She won't share her full story with me, of course."

"Let me think about it."

"OK. Would you like to take a walk with me outside? I mean around the grounds? I have more to share with you about some of what's going on with Kate."

"Sure."

Ana's starting to tense up a bit by now. The exercise should help with her breathing.

That's how we ended up holding hands and strolling outside together while we talked.

"I need to tell you something more about your friend's situation."

"Is she married now?"

"Oh no. They broke up during the past year. Elliot never saw it coming. That happened around nine months ago. He's still reeling from her abrupt rebuff."

I hear a whine and sound of sympathy escape from my wife's throat.

"Poor Elliot. Kate can be so cruel about these things. Has he tried dating anyone new?"

"A few times, but he's afraid of getting burned again. He fell so hard for Kate. His wounds are still pretty raw from their crash and burn."

"I know what that's like…" Then, she stops herself mid-sentence and stares into my eyes. "Well, that's how I felt when I thought you'd left me and blip for Elena. Devastated."

"And you'd have been wrong about me, and us. I would never have done that to you, Ana. We were married and I swore a vow to you. I loved you with every beat of my heart. Still do."

I stop then and probe her eyes too. My hand touches her cheek with reverence. She swallows and her expression meets mine with what I think looks like trust.

"I believe you now. Jack manipulated everything. It's getting clearer with every visit from Flynn."

"I also know how awful it is to lose the love of your life. My heart and mind were shredded in two. That's how I felt after you were kidnapped and taken from my life."

"Jack Hyde and Elena both ruined our lives, for a while. Some people are vicious haters."

"They're sick. But, we'll start again, baby."

"I hope so."

"Me, too."

We walk for a few minutes in absolute silence. I decide to change the topic before we start imploding.

"I need to tell you something else about Kate."

"Has she found someone new? Or become a celebrity?"

"She's about to give birth to a child."

That information seems to stun Ana. She breathes slowly and then waits a second before speaking.

"What? Career woman Kate, with a child? Oh…please."

"Not only that but…she's moved to Portland." I hope I'm not overwhelming my girl with all the goods on double K.

"Something's not right about that scenario. She wanted nothing to do with babies and, as far as I knew, she was done with Portland. At least, once we graduated from college. She was all about the big city and bright lights. You know her; conquering the world."

"It doesn't add up, right? There's even more to the story that she told me, though."

"I'm not sure I want to know or can handle any more."

"You'll need to know and soon, though. It involves a decision we must make, together."

We both pause then but continue walking hand in hand. At least five minutes pass before I say anything more. I know my wife's smart enough to start putting the puzzle pieces together. Finally, I can stand no more and just blurt out the truth.

"She claims that she's carrying your child, as a surrogate. Flynn and I both believe she's deluded. Jack and Elizabeth are behind this, I've no doubt. We need to think about what happens with that baby."

Ana stops in mid-walk then. Nothing comes from her mouth but heavy breathing for a few seconds. I'm afraid that I've shocked her beyond her capacity to cope. Her head is now buried in her hands. I notice a tremble to them. When she's speaks, her voice is barely audible.

"So let me get this straight. Kate Kavanaugh's functioning as a…as a surrogate mother… for my fetus?"

"That's what she told me. It can't possibly be true though."

"Holy Mother of God. I don't think that's possible…When did you speak with her?"

"Just a few days ago. She asked to visit with you here at the treatment center. Kate's about to give birth in a few weeks. She'd like you to be there when she gives birth."

"So that we can take the baby?"

I just nod and keep looking into Ana's face. She's turned pale.

"I think I need to sit down now."

My wife makes the announcement just as we come upon a wooden bench that's nestled among a grove of small spruce trees. We sit and face one another on the wide bench. Her voice cracks and sounds shaky.

"I'm sorry, Ana. I knew all of this would be difficult for you to digest. At the same time, I've seen pictures of Kate and she's definitely pregnant. I don't think we can delay confronting the situation much longer."

As soon as I finish spilling the beans, I take out my smart phone and pass it to Ana. It's the text from Welch with the pictures of her friend. She stares at the photos of double K for several seconds. It's almost as though Ana was hoping Kate would appear before us. Then she huffs in frustration.

"I'm not just in shock. I'm appalled…at what they've done to her. I don't recall any procedure where they removed my unfertilized eggs. That would have been traumatic."

"That's what we thought, too."

"What do you and your investigative team think is really going on?"

"I think Kate's been misled about her pregnancy. She was told that the egg was yours and given a DNA sample of yours that supposedly confirmed it."

"I can imagine who gave her the DNA sample. It's probably Morgan's egg that was fertilized in a petri dish."

"We think it's more likely she was inseminated with someone's sperm. Probably Jack's. Elizabeth Morgan worked with her until his arrest. She disappeared at that point, however."

"So Kate broke up with Elliot and let them either impregnate her with a zygote or inseminate her? I can't believe it's as simple as that. They must have something really big on her. I will speak with Kate. Soon."

"Would you like to talk with Dr. Flynn first? He might be able to relax you again."

"No. I just want to speak with Kavanaugh. Face to face. I have to know why she agreed to any of this. She's not the type to go down quietly. Not like me."

"I've got her phone number. Want to call and talk?"

"Not really. Can you set up the appointment for us?"

"Of course. When would you like to see double K?"

"Tomorrow at visiting hours. Until then, I don't even want to think about her."

"Just give me a second."

She nods while I text the idea to Kate. I wait a few seconds. We get an answer immediately. Double K's already agreed to meet with Ana at Sane Living at 6pm, tomorrow. I flash the text to Ana. She reads it and nods her head.

"It's done then."

"I can't think about this situation any more or I'll start overdosing on Tylenol PM."

"Then let's do something else. Can I take you off site?"

"No, Christian. That's strictly forbidden. Besides, the way I'm feeling right now is shaky. And that's not good."

"That's what I thought. Do you want to watch a film? Play a game? Make out?"

"I want to run. As fast as I can. And go far away, in my mind."

"With me, I hope."

My chuckle sounds hopeless. Ana gives me a sad smile and then inclines her head toward the building.

"There's a track inside the facility. Let's go there. I can't talk anymore about this news. I feel as though I'm about to burst from the anxiety and confusion I'm feeling right now."

I'm wearing a two piece $5,000 Gucci suit with a $500 Pancaldi tie. There's no way I should be running in them. But I'd do anything for Anastasia right now. Anything.

When visiting hours start at 6pm, Kate shows up on time. She's dressed in a long flowing pale blue Mumu and actually looks a bit rested. I decide to watch their reunion from the safety of the camera room. If something unfortunate happens, I can intervene in a minute or two.

Kate knocks on Ana's door a bit tentatively. It's opened slowly. The two women just stare at one another for a minute. Then double K throws herself into Ana's arms with a hug. It's not returned. My wife's got tears running down her face though. They're uncontrollable.

"Ana, please forgive me for not calling out the troops when you contacted me. My hands were literally tied, though. I hope you'll consider my excuse."

"I'll certainly consider everything you tell me. Including the story behind your pregnancy."

"Let me start at the beginning though. Just after you disappeared."

"What sort of mess did you get yourself involved in with Jack and Elizabeth?"

"There's just one acronym for it: BDSM."

"You got involved with that scene?"

"Unfortunately, I did get in over my head. It all started with an investigation of Christian's sexual habits. I still had a copy of the document and contract that he wanted you to sign early in your relationship. I thought it might explain what happened to you. So I began my sleuthing by asking Elena Lincoln to give me some contacts. That was well before Christian exposed her as a pedophile."

"Why don't we sit down on my love seat?"

"Yeah. My legs could use the rest. Being this pregnant really puts pressure on the thighs."

"I can only imagine. Let's continue…"

A**N: Do you think KK got involved as a Domme and then had an affair with someone? Is that who fathered her child? Did Elizabeth use the dirt and pictures to bribe Kate? **


	13. Chapter 13: Decadence

**Ch. 13 – Decadence**

"It all started innocently enough. I went to a BDSM club in Seattle that Elena told me about. She introduced me to an older man. I picked him up and we went there together. His name was Mike. He knew the whole scene and gave me some basic guidelines about what to expect."

"Were you still with Elliot then?"

"Yes, but I wanted some space and told him we should start dating around a bit. There was something a bit off about his behavior those days. I thought he was getting too serious. I wanted to party hardy before I got engaged or anything."

I heard Ana's quick intake of breath when she heard the tone in Kate's voice. "You were going through some changes alright!"

"Yeah. Anyway. That night, Mike wanted to take me to a popular BDSM bar called The Slave. It was located in a funky part of the city near the gum wall in Pike Place. He told me to wear tight leather pants but I didn't even own any. If nothing else, he was kinky. Mike was a good looking mature guy. I could actually imagine dating him. He seemed the right fit for my mood, at the time."

"What was the attraction to The Slave bar, Kate?" Ana asked with a bit of irritation and concern in her hushed speech.

"I heard that they had a great dance floor, potent drinks, even sex toys on sale, and everyone was welcome…gay, straight, black, white, other." Then her voice trailed off while she gave Ana a half-hearted grin.

"Why didn't you just go to his home, watch BDSM films, drink something interesting and get to know about the moves from Mike? Why go to a club?"

"That's what forty-year olds do, Ana," Kate replied with sarcasm. "I wanted to see some action."

Ana didn't react to Kate's cutting remark. "So what happened?"

"I told him I was interested in experimenting or at least learning more about the whole sexual thing."

"You did?" My wife sounds more than shocked at Kate's big reveal.

"I liked his eye candy, just fine, even though Mike was about forty years old."

"Yuck, Kate."

"He was confident and full of himself. He told me that he was in great shape for being middle aged and could show me a good time. Elena said women threw themselves at him. I was playing hard to get. I tried to act as though I wasn't impressed with any of the lines he threw my way."

The look on Kate's face could only be described as sassy.

"Oh no."

"Hey. I was only 23 years old. I wanted to dance and get some experience, not sit around watching some films on Netflix," Kate complained. She had an anxious look on her face.

Ana shook her head back and forth in disbelief. The only words out of her mouth were: "Continue."

"So that's how I ended up driving my E-class Mercedes into that dodgy neighborhood in the heart of Pike Place Market. It was my first visit to a BDSM bar and the whole sexual hook-up scene. The crowd there seemed friendly. The drinks were more than delicious and well-priced. The music was inspiring.

The DJs played Imagine Dragons, Ed Sheeran and Lady Gaga remixes. The pulsating lights on the dance floor really got me moving. Mike seemed to enjoy gyrating with me to the beat of Radioactive and Say Something. I just let myself go with the beat once I had a few drinks in me."

"So you started getting into the action right away?"

"It was fun. Men were drooling all over me."

"You've got quite an ego, girl."

"I couldn't help it. I noticed very few women were at The Slave. What really surprised me were the number of bearded men and really hot looking dudes wearing vests and tight pants there. They got very aggressive on the dance floor by touching and stimulating their partners. Right in public."

"I'm surprised that you found that interesting."

"I guess I was trying to push the limits. After we danced for an hour or so, Mike disappeared to search for some hidden rooms that supposedly featured BDSM interactions. I had no interest in that sexual scene, at first. So I hung out at the bar to watch people after we rested."

"Then you met someone else?"

"As I cooled off near the bar, a very sexy younger guy wearing a leather mask with long hair, a suede vest and six pack from heaven, approached me. His whole way of moving said Sex on Wheels."

"And?"

"He said I was moving like a pro out there."

"I thanked him and said that I had to work some of my tension off."

Then Kate gave a blow by blow description of their conversation. He must have left an indelible impression.

"He asked if I was there with anyone. He had the most alluring look in his eyes, Ana."

"I know what you mean."

I'm guessing Ana was recalling our own heated encounter, long ago, at the college bar. I literally swept her off her feet; once she was passed out drunk. She ended up in my bed that night. I was thrilled.

"I told him that I came with a date but he seem to have wandered off, looking for some action. I joked that I was too much of a bore for a middle aged guy like Mike."

Ana snorted at that remark and said, "Don't be absurd Kate. Most men are like putty in your hands."

"I know. He said Mike was a fool. Then he told his name was Jake. He shook my hand, firmly. His eyes crinkled with naughty excitement. I was falling for him already."

"Did Jake ask if you'd been to The Slave before?"

"Yeah. I told him it was a first for me. That I was new to Seattle but that I lived nearby."

"That could be dangerous to share."

"He said something like: So you're just exploring the other side of the coin this evening?"

"I explained that I needed to know more about the BDSM scene since I was growing my career as a journalist."

"Was Jake impressed with your career plans?"

"He seemed fascinated with me regardless. I could have told him I was a stripper and he wouldn't have cared. Our conversation just flowed. It turned out that Jake was an indie writer and doing well selling his novels on-line. The drinks were smooth and went down too easily. The music pulsed. We talked for hours. Time just slipped away. What a hottie Jake was with that mask and perfect torso."

"What about Mike?"

"Mike returned eventually. The three of us hung out for a while more at the bar. Then Jake and I headed to the dance floor for more action. His hands were all over my ass. He told me he was thirty-something and originally from Vancouver. Mike didn't seem to mind what was happening with Jake and me."

"Are you sure it wasn't a set up?"

"I was too smitten to care. Toward early morning, I really was feeling the effects of those drinks as well as dancing. My libido was flipping out. Jake offered to drive us to his home. I was more than happy to give him my keys. I literally stumbled out of The Slave. I felt grateful that he helped me walk towards my car."

"You're scaring me with this story. Don't tell me you slept with him that night!" Ana's voice sounds wary.

"When I awakened in his king-sized bed the next morning, I had the hangover from hell. Jake was draped over my chest and looked as awful as I felt. Once his mask was removed, he looked older and worn. To my surprise, Mike was also there, fast asleep on the other side of the bed from Jake."

"I can't believe you put yourself in such a compromising situation!"

"I couldn't believe it either. I slowly got up and off the mattress and looked around. There was a cane and a whip near the side of the bed that we slept on. Jake and Mike were quite naked. Both had red lash marks from the whip on their backsides."

"What about you?"

"I went to the toilet and vomited what I could of the evening's drinks and shit. I looked over my body but didn't see any obvious signs of abuse. At first, I remembered nothing after we got into my car. I guessed Jake and Mike messed around with the 'pleasure' toys while I was passed out."

"How did you feel about waking up at Jake's place with two naked guys in the bed with you?"

"I felt more than foolish. I wasn't happy that I spent the night in Jake's bed nor that he and Mike had some type of BDSM encounter. I figured I'd get the full story when they woke up. In the meantime, I took a quick shower and checked for any damage to my body. I noticed that my ass was sore. Then I made my way to the kitchen for a little coffee."

"So what happened when Jake finally joined you in the kitchen?"

"He finally got up and came to me about half an hour later. He was still so hung over that he nearly collided with the granite countertop in the middle of the room. I located the coffee and poured Jake a large mug of it. He walked gingerly over to the seating area where I was still recovering from our night of excess myself."

"Did you ask him about the whips and canes?"

"I asked why Mike was passed out on his bed, upstairs."

"He told you that the guy couldn't drive anywhere and had to stay the night, right?"

"I wanted to know if he invited Mike to spend the night with us. But Jake said that I was the one who invited Mike to come home with us."

"Did you?"

Kate smirked and gave a shrug to her shoulders. Ana shook her head back and forth with sadness.

"Don't judge me that way, Ana. I had no idea whether what Jake told me was true or not."

"Why would you do something so random with two guys you didn't know?" Ana spit out her question with anger.

"You mean going home with Jake or about the kinky sexual stuff?"

"Both."

"Rebellion? Trying to see what life was like without Elliot?" she asked in a rhetorical manner.

"Just listening to your story is giving me a pounding headache." Ana looked more than worried as the story devolved into what could only be described as a huge fiasco.

"There's more. Jake said that Mike was really skilled with the whip and cane. He told me this with a shit eating grin on his face. I asked him to explain to me exactly why he had whip and lash marks all over his body. Then I stood up to get some toast. I was nauseated and needed to keep something down. I didn't want to be any weaker than I already felt."

"I hope you weren't involved with the toys in any way."

"He told me that all three of us had some really great sex that night. Mike played the Domme. If either of us misbehaved, he smacked us lightly with the whip. Jake said it was the most turned on he'd been in weeks."

"How did you feel about that?"

"My world tilted on its axis then. Jake went on to describe various scenarios from our evening of decadence. I felt sick with disgust at the story he told me."

"How did you misbehave?" Ana asked with growing anxiety and irritation.

"Mike ordered me to perform certain acts on his body but I learned that I didn't do them to his satisfaction." Kate continued her story with difficulty. There was a look of utter revulsion on her face.

"What sort of acts were these, exactly?"

I was more than concerned as she told Ana her story. All the aggressive sex that Elena required of me comes roaring back into my reluctant memory. Now I know how much I was the victim in our sexual encounters.

"I seem to remember that he wanted me to suck him off," she nearly whispered.

"And you wouldn't do it?" Ana's voice sounds thick with sympathy.

The blood in my veins has suddenly turned to ice. I'm tingling with anxiety as the horror of my days as a sub to Elena come back to haunt me. She used to play those games with me, all the time.

"Well, I tried but I wasn't very coordinated at that point. According to Jake, I didn't use the right oral technique."

Kate's now hanging her head with shame.

"Jake had to suck him for me. However, Mike whipped him first because of my lack of skill."

She nearly oozed out her words with embarrassment.

"It seems as though Jake didn't mind being whipped," Ana commented. I can hear the disapproval in her tone.

"He told me it was really a turn on. Mike apparently used just the right touch with that whip. Jake swore the feeling went right to his privates," she admitted.

There was a strange look in Kate's eyes as she relayed the story.

"So Jake gave Mike a blow job, while you watched?" Ana asked.

"I tried to remember the encounter. An image of Mike and Jake engaged in some sort of sexual act finally came into my mind."

"Did they make you have sex with one of them later?"

"Jake said I passed out just after he gave me the slam," she admitted.

The look on Kate's face could only be described as grim. There was a wry twist to her mouth as she gave Ana the details.

"The slam. What the hell does that word mean?"

"He gave it to me in the ass. I started remembering things in bits and pieces."

She told my girl about this in a squeamish way.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you, Kate."

"He said he'd cane me, if I didn't cooperate. I'll admit I was very cooperative, after that threat."

"He coerced you? So that's what the cane was used for that night?"

"I cringe with embarrassment now, as I actually recall the interaction. You could say I was raped except I went along with it."

"Did you think it was fun playing these sex games with Mike and Jake, that night?"

"Sort of. Mike actually made Jake and I both kneel down while he poked us with the cane."

She admits it with a laugh. I noticed that Kate covered her nose with her hand as she recalled more of the encounter. She had mixed feelings about the entire experience. I recall feeling the same way about what happened with me and Elena.

"Where did this guy actually poke you, Kate?" Ana asked with growing rage.

"In our butt holes," she said then and laughed again, nervously. "I practically screamed in pain right then and there."

"That's what had Mike turned on, then? I wonder if you also liked getting whipped, caned and ordered around during sex a little."

"I must have thought so at the time. I went along with it."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I asked if we could try it again the next night. Jake said I could stay at his place again and he'd train me, if I'd like to do more. He did."

"This crazy encounter went on for a day or so?"

"That was it, just two nights. Then I returned to my senses. I felt repulsed by my behavior and the experiment with BDSM."

"What do you think of that sort of sex, now, in retrospect?"

"At this point, I don't have any interest in being whipped, caned or being ordered around by Mike, Jake or anyone else. I did try it on for size, however, for a while," she admitted with disgust.

"Thank goodness you got over that phase. For a while, there, you sounded like someone I hardly recognized."

"My lapse in judgment came back to bite me in the ass in a big way, though. Elizabeth used it against me later. She had me just where she wanted once the video was turned over to her."

"You ended up being her little slave, Kate?"

"Yes and no. It got very complicated. I felt intense shame and guilt for my ridiculous escapade. Then I wanted to be heroic. After that whole mess went public with Elena, I tried being noble. I've made such a mess of everything, Ana."

"Well, we all do things we're ashamed of at times. I ran off with Jack Hyde and let him shoot me up with heroin."

"Have you ever done this sort of BDSM thing, Ana?" Kate asked with growing interest and need. Now she's turning the tables on my girl.

"Christian and I experimented a little with it early on but it wasn't very satisfying for me."

"What does that mean, exactly?" Kate asked this of Ana in her usual forthright manner.

I have a sinking feeling in my gut. There's no way I want double K to know about our sexual history, as a couple.

"When I have sex, I want it to be an act of love between me and my husband. I don't want to take orders from a Domme who demands certain sexual favors from me. And I certainly don't want to be punished, if I don't perform them to someone else's satisfaction."

"That's what I figured. You're a gentle soul but not a masochist."

"That's true. Let's stay on track with your current situation though. But how did Elizabeth Morgan and Jack Hyde get involved with your pregnancy?"

"I found out later that both Mike and Jake were plants, hired by Elizabeth, to lure me in. The guys recorded everything we did on video. Basically, they threatened to put up all my sexual activities on various social media sites. That sort of information would ruin my career, my relationship with Elliot, and any chance I had of being an investigative journalist."

"So you tried to get free of Elizabeth's threats by moving to Portland and breaking it off with Elliot?"

"That was the plan at the beginning of this whole thing. I wanted a fresh start and didn't want to hurt my family or significant other."

"But she didn't stop blackmailing you, once you left town. Elizabeth followed you to Portland. Why did you agree to be impregnated with this baby?"

"I felt guilty for my very poor decisions about BDSM with Jake and Mike. I figured I could finally get her and Jack off my back and maybe help you out at the same time."

"Do you have any idea whose baby you're actually carrying?"

"I was hoping half of it was yours but I'm not really sure anymore. I guess I believed them, at least about the DNA results. She shot me up with all sorts of hormones and then implanted this fetus in my uterus. I was trying to be a better person."

"We'll find out soon enough about your child. Once this baby's born, we can test it and try to rule out some of the donors."

"The question is, who is going to raise this baby once it's born?"

"That's the billion dollar question."

**AN: Kate made a big mistake that night but ended up paying for it in spades. How much do you think Elena knew about this whole scheme?**


	14. Chapter 14: Halloween Party

**Ch. 14 Halloween Party**

Sane Living is hosting a costume party for all its residents as well as any family and friends who want to attend. There won't be any alcohol or other pain relievers, besides food, offered for consumption. That's fine with me. I just want an excuse to spend time with my wife and maybe flirt and make out a lot. So I decide to wear a black mask that covers most of my face. It's accented with a silver outline. I wear skinny jeans and an oxford cloth shirt that's open at the neck. I hope she thinks I look sexy since I'd like to fool around with her tonight.

When I arrive, I notice that Ana's laughing and joking around with Kristen and Brandon. They're all wearing masks. My girl's decided to wear The Scream. I consider it symbolic, in terms of what the past year's entailed for her and me. She doesn't notice that I've arrived at first. I'm lurking near the corner of the room. I like to watch her when she's unaware of me. Plus I'm getting used to seeing her on camera. I want to see how she behaves when I'm not around. Especially when she's with that kid who obviously has a crush on her.

Kristen's wearing a Marilyn Monroe disguise that looks interesting. Brandon's decided to go as a pirate. Figures. He wants to steal my wife. They're in a small group and dancing a bit to the music of Ed Sheeran. **I See Fire** is playing in the background. It's an apt description of my response to the fact that Brandon's holding on to Ana's hand while the three friends laugh and move about. I'd like to remove his hand from hers with a kick but I struggle to restrain myself. Besides, I'm interested in observing how she reacts to his moves. I tremble at what I'd do if she seemed in the least bit attracted to him.

_And if we should die tonight  
>Then we should all die together<br>Raise a glass of wine for the last time_

_Calling out father oh  
>Prepare as we will<br>Watch the flames burn auburn on  
>The mountain side<br>Desolation comes upon the sky_

_Now I see fire  
>Inside the mountain<br>I see fire  
>Burning the trees<br>And I see fire  
>Hollowing souls<br>I see fire  
>Blood in the breeze<br>And I hope that you remember me_

I'm relieved to notice that she's acting friendly but not seductive toward good old Brandon and that reassures me somewhat. However, I have no idea what his plans are for her tonight. I'm not waiting around to find out. Just as I enter the room and wave, I notice that he's whispering something in my wife's ear.

I feel myself growing possessive and angry. Why doesn't he understand that she's my wife and that she's not available? She's taken with and by me. I can't bear to imagine what he thinks they have in common beyond their addiction to heroin. He probably took his drug for fun. Ana, on the other hand, felt the deepest sense of despair when she was manipulated and tempted by my lifelong nemesis. That was an entirely different kind of addiction. One borne of the deepest feelings of grief - over losing me. I repeat the last phrase like a mantra. That gives me some semblance of sanity.

I'm here to make sure Anastasia never feels grief over our relationship again. I'll spend the rest of my life making my apparent but unreal rejection of the pregnancy up to her. As far as I'm concerned, the best prescription for us involves a heavy dose of sex. That's what I'm hoping to make some progress on tonight. After he's whispered some nonsense in her ear, she pushes back from Brandon with a furrow growing between her eyes. That's when she finally notices me. Her smile widens noticeably. I swoop in for a hug and kiss.

Ana doesn't disappoint me with her response. It's enthusiastic and filled with desire. I prolong my hold on her for a little while to drive the point home for all to see. I'm hers and she's mine. Get it, Brandon? When I release her, I see that the kid's backed off and looks a somewhat crestfallen. That's exactly what I was hoping to achieve. I'm satisfied. There's no hope for him as far as my wife's concerned.

"Care to dance, Ms. Scream?" I say this with a low and what I trust is a seductive tone to my voice.

"I might, Mr. Dark and Mysterious. When did you arrive?" She smiles at me and bats her eyes in a clear sign of interest.

"Just a couple of minutes ago." I admit the truth while holding her close for a slow dance. It just happens to be one of my favorite pieces called 'Say Something'.

"I love the mask, Christian. It makes you look so appealing."

"Is that because it covers up my worried and pensive look?"

"Most of the time, your face is unreadable. The mask adds a little bit of naughty to your repertoire."

"Well, I'll keep the mask on tonight then. The only problem is that it'll get in the way of making out with you, with real feeling."

"I'll remove both of our masks when it comes to that time, then." That's when my bad boy sits up and takes notes.

"Good. I like that idea just fine…What was Brandon whispering in your ear that made you unhappy?"

"Nothing much. He wanted to play a game that was a takeoff on spin the bottle. I wasn't interested."

"I'm more than happy to hear that you weren't going for that nonsense. Tell him I'd be happy to play spin the bottle with him."

Ana chuckles and tosses her hair over her shoulder. "I can imagine how well that would go over."

"Yeah. I'd be happy to shove the bottle down his throat."

"That's what I was afraid of, Christian. Let's put the green-eyed monster away for now, alright? You've nothing to fear."

"Alright, baby. Now that I've got you in my arms, my jealousy meter's been subdued."

"Would you like to try some of the food the staff's prepared for us tonight?"

"Not really, but sure. Is there some kind of theme to the offerings?"

"Well, it's all healthy and nutritious. Lots of salads, soup, grains and fruit."

"I really wish I could take you out to dinner for a few hours. Wouldn't you like to eat at Canli's or on the very top of the Space Needle?"

"You know I can't be allowed that sort of freedom, yet."

"Soon, though. Right?"

"Well I did have a strong temptation to use after my visit with Kate."

"But you resisted it and that made you even more capable of getting over your addiction."

"Yes and no. I felt very weak and uncertain about everything. The only idea that got me through my temptation was knowing that we were still a couple."

All the tension leaves my body as soon as I absorb what she's just told me. Thank you, baby.

"Oh, Ana. You don't know how important it is for me to hear you say that. You're my everything. You know that, I hope."

As I whisper my thoughts to her, I pull my girl in for a long kiss while we do a bit of a slow dance.

"Yes, I believe you now Christian." We dance and hold each other for a while. Nothing needs to be said at the moment. It's just perfect. Finally, I decide to address the elephant in the room.

"Have you had a chance to put everything Kate told you into perspective?"

"I've decided that we have to know whose offspring she's about to give birth to, before we make any decision at all about taking that baby."

"Ana, you're in no shape to be taking care of a newborn baby. We know it's not yours."

"I'm feeling pretty confident that it's not mine. But what brought me close to the edge of slipping back into my addiction was another idea. It came to me in a dream."

"Oh no. What idea popped into that beautiful brain of yours?"

"Could Elena have frozen some of your sperm, years ago? Then used it to inject Kate?"

"I think I would have heard or known about that idea at the time."

"But consider it, now. Maybe Elena was able to extract some of your deposits from when you were 18 or so. I know the samples can be kept cryogenically frozen for years, without any deterioration."

"Why would EL want to do something like that?"

"To make a claim on you, one day. Maybe she was hoping to combine your sperm with her egg and then use a surrogate to give birth to the child made of that union."

That would be one horror show, come to think of it.

"I can't imagine that Elena would have gone that far. She was never interested in children and advocated very clearly for good birth control."

"Maybe she decided to keep something of you, just before you broke things off with her, sexually."

"If so, she did it without my consent. I could contest the use of my sperm in court."

"She doesn't seem especially concerned about the law, Christian. Besides, who would have the heart to take things out on an innocent child?"

"Anastasia, it's time to stop thinking up these crazy schemes. When the baby's born, we'll test my DNA and yours against whatever it's got. I seriously doubt I'm the father anyway. Let's just enjoy the party and each other for now."

"I guess you're right. After we eat, do you want to play a game?"

"Yeah. Let's try for strip poker. Just the two of us."

"But that wouldn't be very friendly. Why don't we ask Kristen and Brandon to join us?" Ana asks this of me with the most flirtatious look I've ever seen cross her face. She's become quite daring tonight. I like her moves just fine.

"I have no desire. None whatever, to play a stripper game with Brandon or Kristen. At least one that involves seeing any of their skin. On the other hand, I'm quite interested in seeing yours."

"All in good time, baby. For now, let's eat and dance."

That's when they start playing the classic Halloween music. The first song up is called Spooky and it puts me in the mood for lovemaking like nothing else could.

_**In the cool of the evening, when everything is getting kinda groovy.**_

_**I call you up and ask you if you'd like to go with me to see a movie.**_

_**First you say no, you've got some plans for the night. And then you stop, and say, alright.**_

_**Love is kind of crazy with a spooky little girl like you.**_

_**Spooky. Alright. I said Spooky.**_

Ana's jiggling around and trying to dance in her usual uncoordinated way. I think she's adorable when she tries to move that way. I pull her in for a little peck on the cheek while we try to work the moves on each other.

We eat a little of the rabbit food provided but I'm anxious to get Ana alone at last. I want to put some good memories of us and this night into her head. So I nudge her and suggest that we ought to go to her room for a time out. She agreed and gave me her neediest look. That got the attention of my favorite body part.

She'd taken off her mask by now. Ana led me by the hand to the entry of her door. Then she stood there rubbing her arms and waiting for me to make the next move. I removed my mask at once. My arms wrapped tightly around her body at that point. I began to move them slowly up and down her torso. Then my lips found her neck. I placed very deliberate kisses there from the base to the top of her chin. Hell, she tasted great. I moved us inside her private quarters in record time.

She backed up toward the couch as my breathing grew heavy. I paused to look at her and noticed an excited expression in her eyes. Ana reminded me of a deer who was about to be wasted by a car. I felt like a hunter as we took the next step forward. The heat of my body enveloped hers.

She tried to move away from me at first. Maybe she thought we should put the brakes on. But, I wasn't going to be deterred tonight. My hands were now on either side of her head, covering her ears. I could smell her incredible scent and took a minute to relish it. Her eyes showed nothing but desire. It was all the encouragement I needed.

I slid my hands down the sides of her body and made quick work of removing her costume. It was essentially a simple black shift. I pulled her toward me while my fingers touched her hair and the skin of her amazing body. That's when I finally felt a sense of completion with my wife again. My lips nibbled hers then skirted her cheeks and found their way to her nose. Her very scent thrilled me.

I felt her mouth enveloping my hungry tongue. We both wanted this connection so very much. She needed sex with me as much as I did with her. I wouldn't be complete until my organ invaded her chamber. This was our way of communicating. It was magic and tonight was Halloween.

"Can I give you a little relief, Ana?"

The only response that came from her at first was a compliant nod. I unzipped my jeans and pulled out my toy. She looked down and huffed with need.

"Oh, yes, please." She looked at me and agreed without any hesitation. We were just about to start our special dance when a firm knock came from the closed door. Dammit.

"Ana, are you in there?" It was Mia's voice I heard. That put an immediate damper on my desire.

"What the hell? Why did she choose to visit now?" I swore. Ana just chuckled and pulled on her shift quickly.

"It's Halloween, Christian. Everything's a bit unpredictable tonight." I just shook my head with frustration. My sister could be such a pain in the ass.

Ana's voice shook but she was able to get out the right words. "Be right there, Mia."

We took a few seconds to reassemble our clothing. I was cursing like a sailor as I shoved myself back into the tightest pair of jeans I'd ever worn. Especially in all the wrong places.

When we opened the door, Mia and Jose were standing there smiling like two idiots. They were dressed like Pocahontas and Captain Smith. Ridiculous.

"Hi, you two. Congrats on your engagement," Ana blurted out. Her hair was a mess and it was obvious that we'd been making out hot and heavy.

Jose just shook his head and looked a bit sheepish. Mia didn't have a clue about what she'd interrupted.

"I've just heard about Kate Kavanaugh's pregnancy." I heard Ana's sharp intake of breath. All was quiet for a minute.

"What? How did you learn of it?" My wife sounded more than surprised. Shocked would be the word.

"She just called today and told me all about it. Don't worry about a thing. Jose and I have decided that we're going to adopt the baby."

Ana's mouth drops open for at least ten seconds before she speaks. "Why would you make such a rash decision without knowing all the facts? It's very complicated."

"I don't care about all the facts. Kate's about to give birth to my brother's child. You're in no condition to be taking care of an infant."

My mind was moving in several directions at once. How did Mia have any clue about the child's paternity? Why did she think it was mine?

"Mia, hang on there. How do you know it's your brother's child?"

"Because I also just spoke with Elliot. He told me they'd had a huge fight about nine months ago. He's convinced that Kate freaked because she got pregnant and didn't want to trap him. There's no doubt that the little prom queen couldn't handle the whole issue of getting married and having a family. So she decided to go it alone and then give it up for adoption."

"She didn't tell you that, did she?"

"She didn't have to tell me anything. I've got a brain and can figure things out on my own."

"Don't be absurd. It's much more complicated than a fight between Kate and Elliot. What if the baby's not Elliot's? What if it's Jack Hyde's child?"

"Oh, please. We don't care. Jose and I want a family. Someone needs to take care of that innocent little one. It's not her or his fault. We're ready to take it on. Kate's not prepared to be a mother. Neither are you. But the two of us are getting married and want a family, right away. It's the least we can do for everyone."

I'm not capable of speech at the moment. The only words that leave Ana's mouth are these. "Oh my god!"

**AN: Happy Halloween. Hope I shocked you with that little twist. After all, Mia and Jose said they wanted a lot of children. Now they've got one, in an instant. Should CG and Ana allow it?**


	15. Chapter 15: Paternity

**Ch. 15 Paternity**

I step in using my best CEO demeanor at that point. As far as I'm concerned, there will be no further decisions about Kate's child, and who will care for it, until it's been born.

"Mia, you'll do no such thing. For all we know, this baby could be the offspring of someone we all despise. The Grey family wants nothing to do with this creep and his ilk after what he's done to Ana, me, you and our parents. We should distance ourselves from anything having to do with the kidnapper. Do you agree?"

I glare at her in my usual stern way. I know my voice sounds harsh but Mia's being a noodle brain about a very crucial decision. If Jose's not going to rein her in, I will. The fearful expression on both their faces lets me know that they understand my intentions.

I realize that they're both thinking with their hearts. She throws up her hands and nods in compliance with my statement. Ana turns to me with a grateful smile then makes a suggestion.

"Let's play a game."

I'm more than happy to change the topic so I jump in with a nod and say "What game would this be?"

"It's a kissing game. In the closet. We have to reveal a secret about ourselves to another person. If you guess the secret, correctly, you get a kiss. If not, you get nothing."

"Yeah. I love that game." Mia's always up for some fun. I smile at her and then take my wife's hand in mine.

I'm always up for some make out moves. Ana volunteers to orient us. "Let's go down the hall to the game room. I'll get everything ready."

Of course, I'll make sure that Ana's only going to be kissing me and vice versa. There are no secrets between us, at this point.

My wife's got us organized in no time at all. The rest of the evening passes quickly as we distract ourselves from the inevitable tension over the birth of Baby X.

When it's time for Ana and me to kiss in the closet, I make sure to get that and some heavy-duty feel up experiences thrown in to compensate for what Mia interrupted. Ana's got her hands in all the right places as well. The evening's going to turn out just fine after all.

The imminent birth of Kate's baby winds us all up tighter than a rattle snake that's set to strike its victim. The weeks leading up to its delivery pass quickly. My girl's feeling stronger and looking more fit and slim every day.

By the time Kate's ready to pop, Ana's being given day passes to go out and about for a few hours. I arrange my work schedule around her outings. The only problem is that when I show up for her first adventure, she's invited both Brandon and Kristen to tag along with us. I give Ana a look that says WTF but she simply shrugs her shoulders.

"They don't have the means to go anywhere except by bus so I thought we could all take a cool day trip together."

I sigh inwardly. Maybe we can drop them off somewhere while I take Anastasia to Escala for a trip down memory lane. In our bedroom.

"Where would you like to spend your free time, kids?" That's the phrase that actually comes out of my mouth. I sound like a damn camp counselor. I'm trying to be more than accommodating today.

Ana and Kristen look at one another and giggle. My wife looks at me with those needy eyes and gushes with energy. "We thought it might be fun to head toward the area near the Space Needle. There's the Chihuly Glass and Garden exhibit as well as The Experience Music Project or EMP, nearby. The EMP's display on Nirvana's music and its development is amazing. Everything in that part of town would be stimulating."

"Yeah. We've been cooped up here in Sane Living for so long it feels like we're doing a prison sentence." Brandon's actually sounding rational as he helps make a case for the group outing. I look at the three of them and suddenly feel like their father. Oh, WTH. They're depending on me for a ride and the decision about whether we'll go to that part of Seattle.

I can't resist Ana's pouty little mouth. I agree to the group outing with reluctance. "I'll bring my R-8 around front. Make sure to wear something warm since it's quite windy in that area." Now, I'm sounding like a parent too. I shake my head at what Ana's done to my sense of control. There's no doubt, I'm a fool for love. But I know I owe her, big time, for screwing up our pregnancy and marriage.

So before any time passes at all, we're wandering through the EMP watching Eric Clapton videos on the big screen. Then the four of us are taking a docent led tour through the Nirvana exhibit. I've learned more than I ever really wanted to know about Curt Cobain's childhood roots in Aberdeen, Washington. But I'm happy. I've got my woman wrapped tightly in my arms as her friends wander around the place just steps ahead of us. Here's hoping Brandon and Kristen will develop their own relationship and get out of ours.

"How long is your day pass good for?" I manage to ask when we have a few minutes to ourselves.

"Up to six hours this week. Aunt T's feeling pretty confident about our recovery and behavior these days. She's giving us more independence all the time."

"She should be confident. All three of you have been at SL for over six weeks and there've been no major slip ups."

"Yeah. Just six more long weeks to go."

"You'll be home for good in time for the winter holidays then."

"Yeah. We even get a weekend pass for Thanksgiving."

"What will your friends do then?"

"Should we invite them to spend Thanksgiving Day at your parents' place?"

Ana asks this of me with the most adorable beseeching look on her face. I take a minute and put an uncertain expression on my face just to tease her. I notice that she's hardly breathing while waiting for my answer. Institutional rules have really put my girl in a compliant frame of mind. That could be a very good thing for me.

"We'll have to check with Grace first. But I'm sure she won't mind. However, I want you to agree to spend the rest of that weekend with me at Escala."

She giggles for a minute at my eagerness to get her alone. "Of course I will, Christian. As long as I don't have to visit the Red Room of Pain. I'm done with that scene."

"Ana, don't be naughty. I've had the space completely redecorated over the past year. I couldn't bear the thought of Elena Lincoln and what that room symbolized anymore. I just want you home in our bed, where we can spend some time getting reacquainted. Would you like that?"

My voice sounds needy and very guttural. At least my mind and body are both in the same place.

She pulls me toward her with a sexy smirk and a nod of her head. "I think that can be arranged. In fact, I'm looking forward to showing you some of my new moves."

That phrase gets my attention. "New moves? Who did you learn them from?"

"Just been letting my imagination run wild."

"Jack didn't teach you any of these things, did he?"

"Christian, stop it. Of course not. Hyde didn't really care about me in that way."

"So he never touched you? Kissed you?"

"He might have held me and kissed away some of my tears, at first. Once I got hooked on heroin, though, he seemed repulsed by me. I think he cared mostly about extorting money from you. Gobs of it. Jack's not that sexually oriented. At least not around me."

"Maybe he's secretly gay."

"Or maybe he is or was in love with Elizabeth Morgan. He could have been saving himself for her."

"Did she ever visit with the two of you down in San Diego?"

"Not that I knew of. Jack spent a lot of time talking on the phone with someone. But he never let me hear much of the conversation."

"I'm just glad the creep is in jail on a ten million dollar bond."

"Let's hope no one has the bright idea of putting up the money for his release."

"I'd be the first to know about that. That reminds me, my attorney has just obtained a sperm sample from the bastard. As soon as the baby's born, we can obtain its DNA from the umbilical cord and run a test."

"I can't wait to find out the results of that test. Wouldn't it be a kick if it turned out that Kate's baby was really Elliot's child and she's the mother?"

"That would be nature's way of thumbing its nose at Elizabeth. I'd feel sorry for their child but relieved in so many ways that you couldn't possibly imagine."

"I wonder what kind of parents they'd make?"

"Confused ones, that's for sure. At least Kate's had a long pregnancy and time to get acquainted with the little one."

"Do you think Elliot would take Kate back, if she groveled enough?"

"In a heartbeat. He's still crazy in love with your former BFF. He always will be."

"I guess their relationship was one of those soul-mate attractions, at least on your brother's part."

"It's too bad she didn't feel the same way."

"I think she did feel that way, at first. Kate might have been spooked about what happened between the two of us. Maybe she was running away from commitment because she didn't want to get hurt."

"I still can't believe that she let her guard down at The Slave. The way those guys took advantage of her makes my skin crawl."

"She really jumped off a cliff with that wicked weekend. I wonder how much Elena manipulated the whole thing."

"That would be a classic move on EL's part. Get her friend to hook Kate and then take it to the next step. She could have been hoping to bring Kate into her BDSM circle of trust."

"The more I think of that troll, the less I can stomach the idea of investigating whose baby Kate is carrying."

And just then, my phone signaled. Kate Kavanaugh was calling from the hospital.

"Hi Christian. Well, it's happening. My water broke and I'm already headed to the hospital."

"Really? It just so happens that we were talking about you this very moment."

"You're with Ana then. Can I speak with her?" She's sounding both nervous and controlled at the same time.

I pass the phone to my girl. Her first question demonstrates the concern she always shows for others. That's a quality I'll always admire. "How are you feeling, Kate?"

"The contractions are the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. Get your ass down here on the double, girl. I need you to help me through this, Ana."

My wife pauses before responding to Kate's demand.

"We'll be there in a little while. Let's say an hour or more. I have to get my friends back to SL and get an extension on my day trip hours from my CAC."

"Don't be long. This baby wants to make its entrance in a hurry. Oh God…I just had another contraction. Hurry, Ana."

"See you soon, Kate. Hang in there."

Nearly two hours pass by the time we arrive at Seattle General Hospital. Apparently, our timing was perfect. Perfectly awful that is.

Ana steps up to the information desk with an eagerness that surprises me. "We're here to see Ms. Kate Kavanaugh. She should be in the delivery room right about now."

"Let's see…oh yes, she's just been cleaned up and sent to her private suite."

"What? The birth happened that fast?" The question slips out of my mouth before I can even filter myself.

"Yes. Ms. Kavanaugh's baby has already been born, sir. You missed all the drama."

Ana and I just look at one another as though we've entered The Twilight Zone. We hesitate before asking for her room number. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that it's 666.

"Her Room is 324, on the third floor in the Angel wing. Just turn left here and then take the elevator up there."

When we arrive outside her room, we find that Mrs. Kavanaugh and Ethan are already with Kate. She's smiling like a prom queen and gushing about the entire birthing routine.

"Come on in, Ana and Christian."

Ethan's enthusiastic and welcoming with us. That surprises me, given what went down with Mia during the past year. Maybe he's so relieved about Kate's delivery his breakup doesn't faze him anymore. Or maybe he didn't really care that much about getting serious with Mia. At the moment, I don't care.

When Kate sees us standing outside her door, she also gestures that we ought to come on in.

"Oh, Ana. I'm so glad you're here. The birth of my daughter was a breeze."

"Her daughter?" I whisper in Ana's ear.

My wife nods slightly to acknowledge that she also caught Kate's ownership term. "Thank goodness it all went like clockwork. I'm really happy for you, Kate."

That's when Mrs. Kavanaugh jumps into the conversation with evident joy. "I told Kate she'd have no problem giving birth. Those hips are just the right width. Of course, I had twins and that made things a bit more challenging. My Kate's a natural at this birthing bit."

I chime in as if on cue. "Well, congratulations everyone."

"Thank you, Christian," Kate says with a huge smile plastered on her face. That's when Mr. Kavanaugh enters the room. Apparently, he's just come back from the delivery room.

"Everything looks perfect. We're so happy it's finally over."

"I'm sure you're all so relieved." Ana's running into Kate's arms as she speaks.

Kate's absolutely gushing about the experience. She mumbles a phrase out loud, to everyone in the room. "I'm in love."

At first, I'm not sure what she's just said. Then I think she's referring to Elliot. Finally, it clicks. She's referring to her daughter. I have a sinking feeling in my gut.

"The minute I held her, I knew I could never give her up. She's my little doll. There's not a flaw on her little body. I'm just so proud to have given birth to a daughter."

"Well, where is your little one?" Ana stammers out the question before another second passes.

"They've whisked her away to the nursery. She's perfect and beautiful. Her name is Ashley. Do you want to see her picture?"

"Sure." We both agree in unison. It's the moment we've been waiting for and may reveal our future.

Suddenly, we've got four smart phone pictures shoved in front of our faces by Kate and her family. All I see is a scrunched up little pink face with a pink knit hat on its top. There are ten little fingers displayed on a blanket, at the bottom of all the pictures. All of the images look exactly the same.

Mrs. Kavanaugh makes the announcement first. "Ashley looks just like Kate did at that age. The spitting image." She smiles at us like a proud grandmother.

"The way genes work is really amazing. Don't you think?" Ethan's asked Ana the question. We're both stunned. Mr. Kavanaugh's toothy smile and proud nod lets us know how much he agrees with Ethan. It does seem as though Kate and Ethan both take after their father.

I manage to croak out the expected reply. "I'd say. Amazing." Then we both laugh like giddy fools.

Ana restrains herself to ask the next most obvious question. "When do you think they'll let you go home?"

"Tomorrow. I can't wait to take my baby home. That is, to mom and dad's place in Seattle."

"That's just great. So your mom and dad will help with the childcare for a while?"

Mrs. Kavanaugh doesn't miss a beat. "We certainly will help. I've hired a live-in nanny for Ashley. Nothing but the best for our grandchild. And, poor Kate needs time to recover from her ordeal."

That's when we decide to head down to the nursery to see little Ashley ourselves. There won't be any DNA testing today, it seems.

**AN: Looks as if the problem of parenting has been resolved. The Kavanaughs really came through for everyone. Should CG even obtain a DNA test now? Do you think Elliot should get involved?**


	16. Chapter 16: Encounters

**Ch. 16 Encounter**

I take my wife's hand in mine as we head down to the nursery. We're in a hurry, for obvious reasons. Both of us are relieved that Kate's finally stepped up to the plate about raising this child. I've already made arrangements to have the blood in Ashley's umbilical cord tested for its DNA. Taylor paid the head nurse to keep a sample for us. I need to protect my reputation and assets.

Ana may not appreciate my paranoid approach to life but she hasn't been down the same road that I've traveled. At least, as a child.

"Are you feeling better about the entire surrogacy scare, baby?"

"It really sounds as if Kate's parents are convinced that the child is hers. So, if that's true, I'm thrilled to know it. How 'bout you?"

"I'm feeling better about this baby all the time. If it turns out to be yours or mine I would hire the best nanny out there to care for it, though. We'd manage somehow. What do you think or feel in that regard?"

"Truthfully, I don't have the emotional wherewithal right now to focus on a helpless infant. Also, I can't see Mia and Jose doing a great job of taking on a newborn right now, either. They need to concentrate on their wedding and then learning to live with one another."

"Yeah. They hardly know each other. Not like us."

"We're still having trouble getting to know one another."

"Not that much trouble though, right?" I notice that I'm holding my breath as I ask the question.

"Right, Christian. I trust you much more now since I heard about how you silenced and shut down the pedophile. Also, I realize that Jack never intended to help me. It was all about competing with and hurting you."

"It's fun getting to know you this way, though. Slowly."

As I tell Ana that, I pull her toward me by the shoulder and kiss her forehead.

She giggles and then tickles me under the armpit. There's a playful look in her eyes.

"You're sexually obsessed. Always have been."

I wink at her and look her directly in the eyes.

"Only with you. Are you complaining?"

"Certainly not. I like the pace we're taking this time around."

"Don't worry. It'll pick up fast once you're given the green light by Sane Living."

"Don't be over overconfident, Grey. I might keep you waiting for a very long time."

"You won't be able to resist, Ana. You like it as much as I do."

"Come to think of it, I have been feeling just a bit deprived. So maybe we can experiment a little bit later on tonight."

The look of longing on my wife's face lets me know that she's been missing my sexpertise a little too much. I intend to rectify that situation soon. She swallows as she looks at me. I smirk with pleasure.

Just as we arrive at the nursery to see Ashley for ourselves, we notice a nurse tending to the room of newborns. She's fussing over an infant who's wearing a small pink knit hat. The nurse is wearing the typical blue cotton hospital uniform and heavy soled white shoes. Her back is turned away from us.

We stand at the window and take in the scene. There are at least twelve babies on display in the room. It's hard to tell one from the other. Four other parents or their friends are there with us. We must all look the same: curious, excited and happy.

As we check over each name, we realize that the nurse is actually cuddling with Ashley. She's taken her out of the container and whispering or perhaps singing to the baby. I decide to tap on the window to get her attention. That's when she turns around to look at Ana and me.

For some reason, the nurse looks agitated. She quickly takes the little one from the room. I assume she's going to bring her to us. Instead, she leaves the nursery with Ashley and takes her into an inner room. I notice that the nurse is moving rapidly. I look at Ana with surprise. She takes a quick breath in.

"What the hell was that all about?"

"Christian. I think the nurse is Elizabeth."

"What? Elizabeth?"

"Did you notice that she had a short black wig on? I'd know her face anywhere. She's the same woman who used to be my supervisor. Elizabeth Morgan just walked out of the nursery carrying Ashley Kavanaugh."

"Holy God. What is she doing in there?"

"Let's get inside that inner nursery room, immediately. She may be kidnapping Ashley."

"Go, Ana. I'll call Taylor. He's waiting outside with the car."

Anastasia moves faster than I've ever seen as she dashes down the hall and begins pounding on the door to the nursery. Naturally, no one is there to open it at first. And, we can't possibly get to Elizabeth without going through the nursery. I wish I could pick locks as well as Taylor does.

"Help us," Ana shouts out. The other parents and visitors look alarmed.

One of them asks with alarm, "What's going on?"

Ana runs toward two of them. "I think someone's trying to kidnap my friend's baby."

A couple of people get on their phones and begin calling 911. Given the short time parameters before us, I know that's not an effective strategy. I've already told Taylor about Elizabeth and the baby. He's going to call Sawyer for backup help and in the meantime get himself to the nearest exit.

Ana's still pounding on the nursery door when a second nurse comes running down the hall with a set of keys in her hand. She looks more than irritated with the ruckus we're raising.

"What's the fuss about?"

Ana runs up to her with urgency and panic written all over her face.

"There's a phony nurse running around with a baby that isn't hers. We think she's trying to abduct it."

"Stay here. I'll signal security and then check on where she's going within the maze."

By this time, we're both scrambling to get to the exit. We assume Elizabeth wants to abscond with the baby. Perhaps she thinks the baby's really Ana's and mine. Or perhaps her and Jack's evil spawn. All I know is that we need to save that infant from whatever evil scheme Ms. Morgan and Jack Hyde have dreamed up.

Ana runs to me and pulls me by the hand. "We need to grab both Elizabeth and Ashley to find out the truth about this whole mess."

"Follow me," I command. I'm using my GPS to locate the exit nearest the nursery. By the time we head in that direction, at least three security guards are on the scene and scouring every room along the exit corridor.

Once we arrive at the exit door, Taylor's there and looking rather proud of himself.

"I've got her and the baby in the SUV. She barged out of the exit and was about to enter the alleyway when I stopped them."

We look inside and notice that Taylor's got a pair of plastic cuffs around Elizabeth Morgan's wrists. The baby has been placed in the passenger seat and out of harm's way.

"Jason. You're the man. What would I do without you?" I pat him on the back with more than gratitude.

Then I signal the security guards over to my vehicle. They seem surprised by my gesture.

"The kidnapper along with baby were picked up by my right hand man already. He's got her in cuffs inside. The infant's already secure."

The men looked relieved as well as a bit embarrassed.

One guard by the name of Michael Sanchez admits, "I saw her leave the hospital with the baby in her arms on the camera and knew something looked fishy. I wondered why a nurse would take a newborn outside without any other staff or parent around."

The men remove Morgan from the SUV. They lead her back inside to the locked down security facility within the hospital itself. She's not looking at anyone. Her head hangs down and that ridiculous wig rests on her head at the wrong angle.

Taylor very carefully lifts Ashley out of the SUV for both of us to see. We stare at her little face. Damn if she doesn't have a facial expression, coloring and hair that says Kate Kavanaugh's had an influence. No wonder double K and her family fell instantly in love with the newborn. I don't see anything of Elliott in her face though. I'm hoping her body has something in common with my brother's genes.

Ana and I decide that we need to let the Kavanaugh's know about what just happened with the baby. We're not going to do something like that over the phone. Plus, we get permission from the head nurse to carry little Ashley back to Kate's room. She ought to be a lot safer there than in the nursery.

Once we've finished with those tasks, it's time to get Ana back to SL. Since Taylor's with us, I hand him the carefully packaged DNA sample from the baby's cord blood and ask him to have it analyzed by the best clinic in town. I'm guessing that's not going to happen at Seattle General Hospital.

"Yes, sir. I've already done some preliminary investigating and found a clinic that can analyze Ashley's DNA against yours, Ana's, Kate's, Elizabeth's, Jack's and Elliot's, for starters."

"Good job, Jason. When can we obtain the results?"

"Tomorrow, Mr. Grey. In the meantime, why don't I drive your wife back to Sane Living? I assume you'd like to remain here and find out what Ms. Morgan intended to do with the infant."

"You know me too well, Jason. Except right now I don't give a rat's ass about Elizabeth. Security here at the hospital will need to work with the local police on the investigation. I'm sure they're not going to be forthcoming with me about all the information they uncover. Plus, I want to forget about the craziness of this evening."

"So you'd like to return to Sane Living with your wife?"

"Yes, Jason, I would."

"Very good, sir."

On the way back to Ana's live-in facility, we're both so shaken that it's enough to merely hold one another. She's in my lap with her head curled up against my neck. She brings out my protective instincts like no one else could ever do. I can feel my girl trembling. I think I know why.

"Was it hard to see Elizabeth Morgan again, angel?"

She nods her head but says nothing. I kiss the top of her head and rub her back. She kisses my neck and that sends a thrill all the way to my favorite body part. After a few minutes, I can feel her relax. By the time we've reached the doors of SL, she's sound asleep. It's been emotionally and physically exhausting for my baby.

I decide that I'm going to carry her inside to her little room. Taylor helps by opening and closing all the relevant doors.

Aunt T's looking somewhat alarmed when we enter the front door. "You late, boy. And why she passed out that way? You got her drunk?"

"Sorry we're so late Tynesha but we've got a good excuse. Someone tried to kidnap Ana's best friend's newborn from SGH. My wife was instrumental in noticing the crime and perpetrator. Also in stopping the act, just in the nick of time. You can call to check with their security personnel, if you need to verify my story."

"Oh yeah. I need dat number, Mr. Grey. Verification, you see." Taylor gives her their card. She studies it for a second and the nods. That seems to mollify the CAC. She lets me continue with my mission.

I proceed to carry my wife into her room. She's passed out and heavy in my arms. Thank goodness Taylor's still opening all the doors for us. When we reach her room, I gently settle my wife down on her bed. She turns on her side and snuggles against her pillows. I remove her jacket and place it on the nearest chair.

Aunt T's supervising all of my moves like the professional she happens to be. Then she intervenes.

"I take it from here, sir." She puts her hand on her hip and looks me in the eye with her meaning crystal clear. I'm meant to leave.

I sigh with frustration. I was hoping to undress my girl and put her in some PJs at least. Then I'd get my eye candy fix for today. So I'm guessing the rules here at SL don't encourage that sort of interference from outside guests. Plus, Tynesha knows quite a bit about our history at this point. I shrug and give Ana another kiss goodnight on the head. Then I turn toward Taylor.

"Looks like we're being kicked out, Jason."

"I think that's clear, sir."

"Remind me when SL has its next fundraiser, Aunt T. I'll be thinking about making a contribution." I announce my intentions with nothing but sarcasm in my voice. That and a smirk.

Aunt T just shakes her head back and forth. The smile on her face is unmistakable. "You got enough for today. You done had your chance, Mr. Grey. It be four hours past your return time. But don't worry."

That's when Jason and I make haste for the exit and our waiting SUV. It's going to be a long night without Ana by my side.

Late the next morning, I'm on the phone with Dr. Segal from Genetic Labs Research Inc. My heart's nearly beating out of my chest with anxiety. I'm pacing back and forth in my office like some manic twerp.

"Have you found any matches between the baby's DNA and the comparison samples we provided?"

"Let's see. There's a 59.99% match with Ashley Kavanaugh's DNA and that of Kate Kavanaugh. Which is typical for a parent-child relationship. She's the mother."

The sense of relief flooding my body feels nearly as good as when I'm having an orgasm inside Anastasia.

"That's what everyone suspects, given the way the child looks, even as a newborn. What about the father?"

Once again, my anxiety ratchets up while I wait for the doctor to check the scan. This phone call feels as if I'm on an emotional roller coaster. Up and down. I could become bi-polar after this latest scare.

"Good. Also, the match between Ashley Kavanaugh and Elliot Grey's DNA is nearly 41%. He's the father. There's no doubt."

I decide then and there that I need to take my brother out for a long talk. But first, I'm going to call Ana with the news. She can tell Kate about everything. I'm sure they'll have more than enough to discuss about the future. That should happen while I bring Elliot up to speed about his new role in life. He'll be shocked as hell. I intend to get him drunk as soon as he takes in the news.

Of course, I'll also want to find out more about Morgan's mad-cap scheme to steal Kate's baby. I will have to pay off some of the hospital security guards to get the unofficial story on the attempted kidnap.

"Ana baby," I say. My voice sounds utterly ecstatic. "How did you sleep last night?"

"So well. It's the best sleep I've had in more than a year."

"That's because you helped to stop a crime in its tracks. You're a hero. Too bad I didn't have a chance to sleep with you last night. Aunt T kicked me out."

"I heard all about your encounter today. She seemed rather proud of herself. Standing up to you and all."

"Hey, you needed the rest."

"It felt great to sleep in your lap…Have you heard anything about the tests, Elizabeth…" She sounds breathy and excited. So much so that she can't finish her statement.

"Yeah. I've got great news for us. Just spoke with the genetics lab. The baby is 100% Kate and Elliot's. Your friend was fed a crock of shit about the embryonic transfer."

"Either that or Elizabeth hired a very incompetent fertility specialist to impregnate her with the embryo from hell. Apparently, their attempts to implant the fertilized egg into Kate's uterus were completely ineffective."

"Thank god. Probably because Kate was at least a month along when the procedure was attempted. My brother's child was not about to be kicked out of its nest. He's got the mojo going on."

"What do you think my former supervisor was going to do with the baby?"

"Maybe she didn't have good info on the DNA results. Either that or she was planning to sell the baby on the black market."

"Didn't they run a test on the embryonic fluid?"

"Supposedly. I guess we'll find out more when she starts talking."

"If she starts talking. Maybe she and Jack are both on lock down.

"She's already got legal counsel. Morgan's probably drawing heavily from the $5 million dollar ransom I gave her for Mia's safe return."

"Elizabeth's got a lot to answer for. In addition to what she did with Ashley, you can charge her with kidnapping and ransom."

"You got that right, baby. My attorneys will have a field day with her and Jack."

"Right now, all I care about is helping Kate make a good decision about what's going to happen with Elliot."

"My brother's going to explode when he finds out that he's really a father. Any advice?"

"Break it to him, gently." That's when I let out a long, slow breath. It's ironic that my fatherhood was cut short just before his took hold. Who would have guessed that he'd beat me to that end?

At least our parents will be thrilled. After I speak with Elliot, I'm also going to need to call Grace and Carrick to confirm that they're grandparents. I'm guessing Mia's probably told them a little about what's going on anyway.

**AN: Thanks for all your great input! I just couldn't let Jack win. Why do you think Elizabeth Morgan tried to kidnap Ashley?**


	17. Chapter 17: Confessions

**Ch. 17 Confessions**

I've decided to take Elliot out to lunch before I drop the bomb about how his life's going to change. The word instantly crosses my mind but then again he might not take to the notion of fatherhood after all. He's his usual goofy self when I pick him up from a downtown Seattle construction site.

"So what's up with you and Ana these days?" He says this while jumping into the passenger seat of my R-8 covered in wood dust and grease. I make a face and think about taking him to the wash room for a quick once-over.

"Things are going well with her recovery. She's only got five weeks to go before her release."

"Is she moving back into your place?"

"I sure the hell hope so. She'd be safer with me at Escala anyway. But, it's her decision."

I admit this last thought to him while feeling quite confident about her choice. After all, we'll have a chance for a small reunion over Thanksgiving weekend. I plan to put all my best moves on her then.

"Women. Can't live with 'em. Can't live without 'em."

I chuckle at his claim. There's no doubt in my mind that I cannot remain sane without having Ana back in my life for good. This time, we're going to do things right. That means having a baby in a year or so. I want to be connected to my wife in every possible way. Sharing the bond of a child could only cement our commitment to one another. Plus, it'll help us get beyond our loss.

"I thought we'd go to The Native Foods Kitchen for a change."

"Whatever you want. You're payin' bro."

As I pull into a nearby parking space, I look over at his face. He seems calm and composed for a change. He won't be for long. We walk a short distance to the casual dining place. It's not crowded since we're eating after 1pm. I order a taco with rice and beans while El decides on some sort of veggie burger with potato skins and the works.

I'm trying to keep things casual while waiting for our order and seated at the table.

"How's business these days?"

"Things are really taking off now that the Governor has decided to remodel his residence using all bamboo flooring. They called our firm first."

"Congrats. Maybe I'll have you build a place for us out on the sound."

"Just give me the architectural plans and we'll do the rest."

"Yeah. That's something we can work on during Ana's Thanksgiving visit."

He nods then takes a long drink of beer from his mug. I do the same.

There's a lull in our conversation. The server brings our food to the table. She's a thin young woman with long dark hair and eyes. She looks me over and smiles. I don't take the bait. Instead I focus on my brother. He's already chowing down.

I've decided that the news about Ashley can wait until after he's finished eating. In between bites, he tries to make conversation.

"I just wanted to say I'm glad that things are getting better for you…that Ana's recovering from her ordeal so well, bro. You seem so much happier these days. "

"I'm feeling good about our future. Let's just say things look promising."

"It must have been hell without her. And then you had to go public about mom's friend, Mrs. Lincoln."

"At least that's over and we can focus on what's ahead."

"Yeah. Do you ever hear from her?"

"Elena? God, no. I just hope she never sets foot in the US again."

"That's good. She was bad news all the way around dude. I couldn't believe how much she hounded you."

"Can we not talk about her?"

"Sure. Sorry, I was just thinking about her the other day and wondering where she went."

"So Elliot, have you been seeing anyone these days?"

"Not really. After double K fucked me over, I'm a little bit gun shy, if you know what I mean."

"I know what you mean, don't worry. Have you ever thought of calling her just to talk about things?"

He huffs and snorts a bit. "Not lately. Dude, she got spooked at the very idea of getting married. I dunno, maybe she wanted someone a little more Wall Street. You know the type."

"If you're referring to business men like me, then yes I know the type. However, I don't think Kate can cope with the likes of men like me. When was the last time you spoke with her?"

"It's been more than eight months. She was really weird on the phone with me the last time we talked."

"Like what?"

"She seemed sad…confused…angry. In other words, she was acting bitchy."

"I think I might know why."

By this time, Elliot's finished his meal. He stares at me for a full minute.

"What the hell are you talkin' about?"

I look into my brother's face and notice that his eyes are wide open.

"I have something important to tell you Elliot. It will shock you."

He puts his drink down. We look into each other's eyes. He knows I'm dead serious.

"OK, Christian. Now you're spooking me. You know something about Kate. Did she get married, promoted or knocked up?"

I nearly spit out my beer.

"Ana and I have spent time with her recently. She's been through a lot."

His voice sounds more the defensive now. "That's interesting. I've been through a lot too."

"Do you still have feelings for her?"

"Of course. She broke my heart. But I can't stop thinking about her."

"That's what I thought."

"Dude, don't keep me in suspense here. Where did you last see her?"

"She's here in Seattle."

"No shit. She moved back to town? That's news."

"Yeah. She'll be staying with her parents now."

"So she didn't like things in Portland?"

"It's a bit more complicated than that."

"Christian, just spit it out for god's sake."

"I don't know how to tell you this but here goes. She just had a baby."

Elliot stares at me as though I've announced that the Pope was gay. Then he pounds his fist down on the heavy wooden table.

"Dammit. A baby? Who the hell was the father?"

"You're the father."

Elliot's face turns as white as my cotton handkerchief. All the blood drains from it. He doesn't speak for a full minute. He holds his fingers and hand over his eyes and nose.

"Oh God. I'm a father? Why the fuck didn't she tell me?"

"She didn't know, Elliot. I had DNA tests run yesterday."

He stares down at the table. Tears form in his eyes. Now he's shaking his head back and forth.

"DNA? Why'd you do that?"

"It's complicated. Let's just say I wanted to make sure about the paternity issues."

At this point, he stands and looks explosive. I decide that it's time to leave. We make our way toward the exit while other patrons stare at Elliot as though he's dangerous. We don't speak again until we're outside. That gives him just enough time to think through the possibilities. The first question out of his mouth, once we're alone, is fatherhood.

"Paternity issues? Holy hell. How many guys did she sleep with?"

"It wasn't like that. She thought she was going to be Ana's surrogate."

He's got his hands over his face for a few seconds. I'll give him all the time he needs. There's a lot to process.

"Surrogate? Kate? That's the last thing I'd expect of her."

"We thought it was strange too. But, there's more to the story. It involves Ana and Jack Hyde."

"If Hyde's involved, it's gotta be criminal. Something sounds really wacky here. I can't believe this shit…" Elliot's now muttering to himself.

"I think Jack was trying to yank Ana's chain. We had to know for sure."

"More like yanking my chain. Thanks for running the tests, Christian. Do I have a son or a daughter?"

"A daughter. Her name's Ashley."

At this point, I take out my smart phone and show him a few photos. I've led him to a nearby park and we're walking at a slow pace.

I hear a grunt escape from Elliot's throat as he looks at the pictures. He's quiet for a full two minutes.

"She's beautiful; looks like her mother."

"Yeah. The spitting image of double K. All the Kavanaughs agree about that."

"Kate's still in the hospital?"

"She went home with Ashley yesterday. Now they're staying with her parents."

"Really? Why am I the last to know?"

"You need to talk with Kate to get the whole story."

"Oh, you betcha. I'll talk with Kate…How dare she keep this from me."

"Don't be too harsh with her. I'm sure she wants you to know about your child, now that the tests are confirmed."

"How long have you known about her pregnancy?"

"Maybe a month, tops."

"Ana's known about it too?"

"Yeah."

"Anyone else?"

"Well, Mia. Kate called our sister just before she gave birth."

"Mia? She couldn't keep a secret to save her soul. What the hell. I knew she was acting strange the last few days. I thought it was due to her marriage to Jose. So I'm the father of a child and the last to know?"

"We thought the biological father might have been Hyde. I didn't want you to be upset."

I don't dare mention Ana's fear that my sperm could have been involved somehow. Elliot doesn't need to have any more confusion in his life right now.

"To say I'm stunned is an understatement. I need to speak with Kate, right now. We're parents. That means we've both got responsibilities."

"I'm guessing you'll want some privacy then."

I say that as I head back to my car. I get inside and leave him alone in the park. I give Elliot time to speak or at least text on his phone. I'll wait as long as I must for my brother. I really feel for him right now. Much to my surprise, Elliot's headed back toward my car in a flash.

"I just left a text message and voice mail on her phone. I'll give her a minute. In the meantime, can you drive me over to the Kavanaugh's home?"

"You should let them know you're coming over. I'll be happy to drive you there, though. I'm sorry that I had to be the one to tell you about the baby."

"I can't get over this. Kate's known that I'm the father of her child for a full day and didn't have the sense to call me? Does she think I'm some vile creature? That I don't have any rights?"

"She asked me to speak with you first. She's a little traumatized about things just now."

"Why, was the birth of our child too difficult for her?"

"No, not that. The truth is that someone nearly kidnapped your daughter from the hospital nursery."

"I can't believe how complicated everything's become. The kidnap attempt must have something to do with you, Christian."

"Yeah, it's related to Jack, me and Ana. Kate will tell you the whole story."

I can see that it's all a bit much for him. He looks shocked as his head wags back and forth. At that point, Elliot's phone signals and he picks up. His voice sounds uncertain and hoarse when he answers.

"Kate? I've just heard about our baby from Christian. Can I come over to see you and…Ashley?"

Apparently, she's agreed.

"I'm sure my bro will drive me over. We have a lot to discuss. OK…I'll see you in twenty minutes."

The look on Elliot's face is a mix of emotions. First I see angst, then hope. That's followed by anger.

"Can you drop me at her parents' place? I may be there a while."

I nod and pat his leg.

"Let me know when you want a pick up."

"Thanks but I'll probably catch a ride home from Ethan. Or maybe take a cab. Don't sweat it."

Nothing more is said on the drive to Kate's place. Elliot's got a lot on his plate just now. I drive while he ruminates. His life will never be the same.

After I drop my brother off, I head to Sane Living for visiting hours. Just before I leave my parked car outside, I get a call from Welch.

"Grey, here."

"I've got a bit of an update on why Ms. Morgan took the baby."

"Good. What's the story."

"According to the SGH security guards, she wanted to check its DNA."

"All she had to do was take a swab stick and collect a saliva sample from the baby's mouth. Why kidnap the infant?"

"According to her, it wasn't going to be kidnapped. She had a test kit in her car and wanted to get the right amount in the sample jar."

"Why couldn't she have used the kit at the hospital?"

"She wasn't sure she'd have enough time to do it right."

"I'm not buying her story, Welch. That's bullshit and we both know it. She took the baby from the nursery without authorization. Then, she managed to get outside with it through the nearest exit. Thank goodness Taylor was there to intercept them."

"I agree with you Mr. Grey. She's probably trying to cover her ass with that nonsense story. That's all I know right now."

"Well, thanks for getting the info from one of the guards. Keep on it. See if she'll talk without her lawyer being present. Also, let them know she's using stolen money to fund her legal counsel. When we're done with her, she'll be using legal aid and the public defender's office."

"Yes, sir. I'll get on it immediately."

"Good job, Welch."

That's when I turn my phone off and head in to see my wife. We've got a lot to discuss. She'll be interested in knowing about Elliot's reaction to his paternity issues as well as Morgan's absurd story.

I'll be happy to share, as long as I can take us to the next level of intimacy. As far as I'm concerned, I was deprived of her company for much too long the other night. We've got a lot of making up to do. When I enter SL and head to her room, she's waiting for me with her friend Kristen. They look a little stressed. I'm guessing something new is up.

"Hey, baby. What's going on? You don't look happy to see me." I greet her and then go in for a kiss and hug. Then I nod at Kristen.

"Oh Christian. Our friend, Brandon, just made a suicide attempt. He ingested an entire bottle of Tylenol. He's been taken to SGH to have his stomach pumped. He was doing so well, too."

After Ana's explained their crisis, both girls begin crying.

I sit down on the love seat and pull her into my arms. Kristen sits on the other side of my girl and hugs Ana's back. I'm sure it's going to be difficult to calm them down. Brandon's set back might have an impact on one or both of them. All I can do is soothe my wife with hugs and reassurance.

"It'll be alright. He'll recover. His gesture was probably a call for help."

**AN: Do you think Elliot should reunite with Kate after what she's done? What do you think of Morgan's excuse for taking the baby? **


	18. Chapter 18: One Step Forward

**Ch. 18 One Step Forward**

Ana certainly wasn't interested in canoodling with me the night that Brandon overdosed. Plus, Kristen wouldn't leave her side for a second. At least my girl turned to me for solace. We sat around waiting for updates on the kid's status and watching a program on television. I held her trembling body during the entire ordeal. By the time visiting hours ended, we learned that he'd pulled through just fine. We kissed briefly before she turned in for the evening.

On the way to my place, I called Elliot. He'd spent several hours with Kate and their new infant.

"Can you talk now?" I asked.

"Yeah. I've just come home. Let me tell you bro, that little Ashley is amazing." He sounds like a different man from the one I left earlier today. His voice can only be described as upbeat and optimistic.

"I know. She's a cutie. Spill, Elliot…what happened when you confronted Kate?"

"Where do I begin? We had a great reunion."

"At the start. Tell me about your conversations, feelings, reactions."

"Listen to you, Christian. All that therapy with John Flynn has really opened you up. OK, let's just say it ended well." He sounds confident and strong. That's a great sign.

"Does that mean you're going to see your family on a regular basis?"

"You got that right. I'm in love with both of them. Ashley and Kate. We've agreed to see each other every day and talk about our future. Kate's feeling very remorseful about what went down between us these past eight months. She wants to give us another chance."

"That's fast. How did you finesse all these changes in such a short period of time?"

"When I arrived at the door of their home, I was so angry I could hardly think straight. I was ready to sue her for custody. Mr. Kananaugh answered the door though. He gave me a welcoming smile and hug. Then he congratulated me on my beautiful new daughter. His attitude alone made a huge difference. He took me in to see Kate and Ashley just like that."

"That must have been an emotional encounter. How did you feel then?"

"As soon as I saw Kate, I melted. Even though she was all bloated and tired from giving birth, she looked beautiful. We both burst into tears the minute our eyes met. She blurted out that she was still in love with me as soon as we could talk. I fell to my knees by the side of her bed and we just sobbed for a while. Her parents and Ethan left us alone."

"Was the baby in the room too?"

"No, Mrs. Kavanaugh was changing her diaper and feeding the baby in the nursery. They also had a nanny there by the name of Daphne. Don't worry, Christian, I spent plenty of time with Ashley too. That happened after Kate and I talked for about an hour."

"Did Kate tell you what happened with Elizabeth Morgan?"

"She told me all about her wild weekend and her guilt. I forgave her since I did a fair amount of whoring around after she dumped me. That surrogacy attempt didn't work, thank goodness."

"I guess. She was already pregnant with your child."

"But Hyde and his woman thought it was something else. Apparently, Morgan wasn't able to get a good DNA sample from Ashley during the pregnancy. The amniocentesis didn't yield any reliable results Kate said. But Elizabeth thought Kate was pregnant with an embryo created from Ana's egg and Jack's sperm. She convinced my girl of it. That's why she paid 80 grand to have her give birth."

"Let me assure you, whatever embryo they created in that petri dish had nothing to do with Ana. It was probably someone else's egg. Maybe Jack got it from a corrupt fertility clinic. One that took viable eggs from college undergrads. He was deceiving Elizabeth."

"You know what? It doesn't matter. Kate's body rejected whatever they tried to implant in her uterus since our baby was already taking charge in there."

"So Morgan had no idea that her surrogacy implant didn't work?"

"None whatsoever. Luckily, you found Ana in San Diego just before Elizabeth discovered the truth. Once Jack was arrested, Morgan was running scared. I shudder to think what those two would have done to our baby, if she was born and they were able to test for DNA."

"They would have tried to pass it off as my child anyway. I might have paid a fortune for it since there'd be no way to verify it until later. After that, Jack was planning to marry Ana. Once he convinced her to divorce me and take half my assets, that is. They were going to move to Cabo and live happily ever after."

"He needs to be put in prison for the rest of his life. But think of it this way, at least you would have been taking a baby that was a Grey. Nature always has a way of breaking through with what's real."

"Tell me about how you felt when you saw your daughter for the first time."

"I was blown away by the whole thing. She's incredible. I can't believe I'm a father but I'm ecstatic about it. And to think that she's the result of our love. We're thrilled with our daughter. She's beautiful and already active. Just like me."

"What's your plan for the future, dude?"

"At the moment, all I want is to see Kate and me reunited and happy. I can't believe how intense our connection was when we saw each other again. The feeling between us was primal."

"I can believe it. That's how it was when I found Ana again. Talk about a force of nature."

"What's Kate saying about things?"

"She was near hysteria when she apologized for what she did to us this past year. She begged me to take her back. I made her sweat it out a bit. But it wasn't hard to forgive and forget. Kate's even talking about getting an apartment and moving in together with our baby."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I think we should wait until she's recovered from giving birth. At the rate she's healing, though, that should be next week."

"Congratulations on your whole new life, Elliot. I know it's been a hell of a shock but you seem ready for it. I know you always loved Kate. I'm just glad she's feeling the same way now."

"The best thing that's ever happened to me is Kate Kavanaugh. She's such a stubborn fool sometimes but she's mine. I could never love anyone else. Now we have a child to raise together."

"You'd better call mom and tell her there's going to be another wedding in the family."

"Not so fast Christian. I'd like to marry the mother of my child. Don't get me wrong. But first I need to let mom and dad know that they're grandparents. Then Kate and I have to get ourselves organized. Are you sure Mia hasn't said anything to Grace and Carrick about my daughter?"

"I don't think Mia's told them anything for sure. You should call them, Elliot."

"Right away, dude. Talk to you soon, Christian. And…by the way, thanks for running the DNA test."

"Anything for you, El."

"Laters."

The smile plastered on my face lasts all the way home. I sleep well that night even though I'm without my Ana.

The next day when I arrive at SL, Ana's nowhere to be found. I discover that Kristen and she have been on a day pass visiting Brandon at the hospital. Aunt T informs me that they'll be returning shortly. I wait around and try calling her on the phone. However, other than the internal phone at SL, she doesn't have access to one. That's when I realize how inconvenient the rules at SL happen to be. None of the residents are allowed to have them for fear that they'll make calls to their dealers.

So I call Grace instead.

"Hey grandma. Congrats on your instant status as a grandparent." That's how I greet her today.

"Thanks, Christian. It's a lot to take in on such short notice but we're both thrilled for your brother and Kate. I'm just happy he's going to work things out with her."

"Me too. Elliot seemed lost this past year."

"Both of my sons have been wandering around in a haze this past year. You two don't do well without your women around."

"That's true, mom. We're both fools for love. Thank goodness Mia's been keeping you occupied with her wedding plans."

"Everything you've just said is something I'd agree with Christian. Mia should be excited about how the wedding party is shaping up now that Kate's going to be back in the picture."

"That's right. She's such a stickler for making sure everything's just so."

"That makes two of you. How are you and Ana doing these days?"

"Good. Things are moving slowly but in the right direction. Her friend at rehab had a setback and she's upset about that. We spent time together last night dealing with it. Right now, she's at the hospital visiting him."

"I'm glad you're being so patient with her recovery. She's changed you for the better son."

"Yeah, well, I spent a year thinking she was dead and gone. What's a few months compared to the most heart wrenching loss of my life? Both mother and child."

"Oooh. That hurts to hear. Why don't you bring Ana over here for dinner this weekend? She's probably got some leave time coming. I'd like to see her again. And, we can all celebrate about the newest addition to our family, Ashley."

"I'll check with her. Do you want to do this on Sunday?"

"Sunday at five?"

"Sounds like a plan, grandma. I'll let you know."

"That sounds so weird…I'm really a grandma. We'll talk soon, Christian."

Just as I end my call with Grace, Ana enters the lobby with Kristen trailing behind. She sees me and comes over immediately. I pull her into an embrace. She stiffens at my touch.

"What is it, baby? Something wrong between us?" As I ask the question, I notice that my heart's beating out a weird rhythm. She's resisting me.

"I don't know Christian. Maybe. I'm all upset about Brandon." Kristen's standing behind us looking rather confused. We need to ditch her.

"Let's talk about this in your room." I say and lead her by the hand. Kristen waves us goodnight.

As soon as we're seated on her love seat, I pull her into my lap. "What's all this about Brandon?"

"Oh Christian. We found out why he took those pills."

"Let me guess. He was feeling despondent about you."

She nods affirmatively. "He said he doesn't want to live if I don't want him."

"But you don't want him in the same way, do you?"

My throat feels constricted and my breathing is more than shallow as I ask the question.

"N…no but I don't want to shut him out either. He's my friend and I care so much about him as a person. I couldn't bear it if he died because he thought he wasn't loved."

"Have you been telling him something that you're not telling me?"

"No. He knows that I'm married and in love with you. I just don't want him to give up hope about life."

I relax the moment I hear her say the words I need to hear. She's feeling mixed about how to help him find some reason for living.

"Baby, you can't let Brandon manipulate you into a relationship that you don't want."

"I know, Christian. I just wish he'd find someone else besides me to care about."

"Why can't he develop a crush on Kristen or one of the other women in your rehab group?"

"It's that old thing about chemistry. He wants me."

My anger's been sparked in no uncertain terms. Why can't I have my wife to myself? First it's Jack. Now we've got to contend with Brandon.

"What are you proposing then, Ana? Should we break up so that you can pretend to be interested in him as a sex partner?"

"Of course not. That would be absurd."

"Yes, it would be. He's going to have to face the fact that you and I are married, sooner or later. Why isn't his therapist addressing the issue already?"

"Brandon's such a lost soul. His only real friends are me and Kristen.

"Why is he holding the torch for you? Doesn't he see me coming and going from your room each day?"

"I think he wants to pretend that there's still a chance for him. Since the three of us spend so much time together here at the facility, that's all he thinks is real. We're together every day for eight or nine hours. Maybe he doesn't think our connection is as deep as it really happens to be."

"That's too much time spent together with him. I should pay for a therapy session between you and Dr. Flynn about this. You need to put some boundaries on your time with Brandon."

"That might be a good idea, Christian. I need to put my head on straight about all of this. I feel guilty. Maybe I've led Brandon on without being fully aware of it. I just wanted him to be happy."

"Whatever happens in regard to you and Brandon, I want you to let me know that we're still a solid pair. OK?"

"Of course, Christian. I'm not thinking of leaving you. Never. Don't worry."

"You're making me crazy, Ana. I know you don't want to lose your friend to suicide. However, if I lost you again, I'd be suicidal. Think about that."

"Stop saying these things to me. I love you. Just bear with me while I try to work things through with my very insecure friend."

"I'm scheduling a session with you and Flynn first thing tomorrow. In the meantime, I want to bring you up to speed about Kate, Elliot and our family."

Ana's thrilled to learn the latest about her friend. That's when we finalize the plans for Sunday at Grace and Carrick's home.

**AN: Happy for Elliot? What should Ana do about Brandon's desperate need for her? **


	19. Chapter 19: Two Steps Back

**Ch. 19 Two Steps Back**

I'm back at SL and watching the monitor as Dr. Flynn meets with Ana. He's going to speak with her about the situation with Brandon and, hopefully, make some changes. I'm getting worried about the effect that kid is having on my wife. It's just not right to chase after a married woman. My woman.

She actually resisted my attempt to hold her last night. No matter what she tells me, her body language sent me a message. I think she's developed feelings for the guy and doesn't want to admit that to herself nor to me. It's making me completely crazy. She's driving me wild with desire.

I may have to punish her for pulling back from me. Then again, any sort of physical torture might drive her from my arms. Holy god! What kind of ridiculous thoughts am I entertaining? I can't possibly stress her out like that. Not when she's in the middle of her addiction recovery program. There's no way my Ana would agree to live with me if she thought I was going to use BDSM on her again. Aunt T would probably put me in cuffs and whip me herself.

I'm such a mess right now. I must be losing it. I've already sworn off any and all sadistic behavior from here on in. We're far beyond that sort of bondage activity at this juncture in our relationship anyway. Especially since I came clean about my past with Elena in a very public manner. What would my friends and colleagues think of me if they learned about what I did to "punish" my traumatized wife?

Get a grip, Grey. I'm taking two steps back here with these errant thoughts.

Besides, I've already remodeled the Red Room. The only item left from that space is the padded Chesterfield headboard. I've got that one in my own master suite now. Our former Red Room of Pain has been prepared as a nursery for our little ones. I can't wait to see Ana's reaction to what Gayle and I did with the area. That's another surprise waiting for her over the Thanksgiving holiday. I hope my wife stays at Escala and in my room then. It's totally up to her however. I tremble when I realize how much power Anastasia wields over me. I'm hopelessly in love with her.

Unfortunately, as soon as she meets with John, the monitor goes dead. Maybe that's because she wants the session to be absolutely confidential. That's when I really start panicking. My hands have run through my hair sixteen times in a row already. I'm pacing back and forth in the camera room and about to lose it.

Therefore, I decide to distract myself. So I go in for a talk with Aunt T. She's checking over some records on the computer when I knock at her door.

"Christian. I thought you'da come by. Sit down." She beckons to me as I stand in the hall outside her office. She seems friendly enough.

"How's Brandon doing at the hospital?"

"Weak, but good. He be coming home tomorrow."

"Should he return here that soon? After all, he's having much more trouble with his recovery than either Ana or Kristen."

She gives me a sarcastic look. I know I'm trying to take control and so does she. There's a frown forming between my eyes already.

"Oh yeah. Because of da' suicide attempt, Brandon will go to a new group. Here. Dat for sure."

"That sounds good. I think he'll do well with a new group of residents."

She shakes her head at me and smiles as though I'm a child.

I'm so relieved when I hear what Aunt T has to say about moving him to another group. I could kiss her. It puts my mind at ease though. The more time he's away from my wife, the better.

I make small talk for a while with Aunt T and then return to the camera monitors. Then I think more about the change in group members. That gives me an idea. A brilliant idea.

As I sit waiting for Ana's session to end, I start looking around to check out other rehabilitation centers. I pull out my tablet computer. Perhaps I can find one that's especially effective with former heroin addicts who are suicidal. I'm hoping it's somewhere out of town. Possibly in Mexico or at least in California.

He's going to be moved from SL to elsewhere or my name isn't Christian T. Grey. I'll pay the fees myself. It's just not right that he's been able to put a wedge between us. Even if Ana loves me far more than Brandon, I'm seriously jealous of the time they spend together. Every day. I'm not sure she's ever spent that much time with me in any three month period. I'm getting pissed all over again.

The first appropriate site I find through my IPad search is called Better Living by the Sea. It specializes in heroin addiction and relapses. The kid's far too troubled for the program at Sane Living, I decide. I intend to run the idea by Flynn and Tynesha as soon as possible. Well, once I'm through visiting with Ana that is. He needs a better fit. I'm sure of it.

By the time I've completed my search and save activities, John's finished his therapy session with Anastasia. He stops in to visit me in the camera room before leaving Sane Living. There's a confident look on his face when he sees me. He gives a quick nod and comes in.

"Hey, John. Thanks for seeing Ana on such short notice. I assume things went well."

My voice sounds cracked and dry as I try to play it cool. Who am I kidding? Even though I know he always has my best interests in mind, I'm envious of the secrets he knows. Especially when it concerns my wife. Of course, he's also got plenty of mine under his cap.

"Hi Christian. You're welcome. As far as how things went, that's confidential information between me and my client. It will remain private. I'm sure you understand. You probably noticed that we wanted the monitor silenced during our meeting."

"Yeah. That's a first. She's usually quite open to sharing everything that happens in her room."

"Right. She needed to speak with me privately today, about some issues. If you want to know something about the session and she chooses to share it, it's up to her. Talk to your wife. As far as my role, what we discussed today is strictly between Ana and me. Client confidentiality is important to me."

"Dammit, Flynn. You're scaring me with all this talk about privacy. What could my wife possibly want to keep from me. We're a team."

My heart rate and pulse are beating at an alarming rate already. Maybe she's asked him for advice about how to dump me and start dating Brandon.

"Calm down, Christian. Take your slow but moderate breaths and relax. Don't blow things out of proportion. I'm talking about professional ethics. You would expect me to keep your confidence. Right?"

Ethics. Why does everyone have to be so rational around me? Am I that much of a basket case? Of course I am. I acquiesce at once. "Sorry."

"Then go in to see your wife. Talk things over. I'm sure she'll be happy to explain herself in person."

"OK John. I know you're right. My wife's making me a little frightened with all this talk about Brandon."

"Then the only way to allay your fears is to speak about them with your spouse. You know that, already. I'll talk with you later. Call me."

I swallow and feel as though I've got a snake stuck in my throat. But I pat John on the back as he takes his leave of me. I run my hands through my hair again before heading to Ana's room. Then I knock on the door lightly. I act like a boy in grade school who's reporting to the principal. This is ridiculous.

She answers it at once. There's a welcoming lip bite to her lip then a full out smile on her face when we see each other. Ana actually pulls me by the hand to bring me into her room. The spark between us feels amazing. I'll never tire of our connection.

"Christian. Sorry about turning off the monitor. I wanted to run some information by Dr. Flynn. And, I didn't want you to go all anxious on me or freak. He suggested that I might want to flip off the switch. So I did."

"Is there some deep, dark secret you're keeping from me? The two of you?" I smirk while asking the question.

If she only knew what's been going through my mind. I imagine all sorts of possibilities including one where she tells me that there never was a pregnancy. Another involves a confession in which she admits that she's madly in love with Kristen as well as Brandon. I know such thoughts are totally absurd and crazy.

She loves me and told me so yesterday. Twice. So I decide to focus on the here and now. After all, she's touching me with enthusiasm and there's a delighted look in her eyes at the moment.

"I know just how possessive and threatened you become at the thought of me and any other man. Don't worry. I love you, Christian. More than anyone else in the world. I didn't want you to be upset with some of what I shared with Dr. Flynn. Believe it or not, it doesn't involve you directly. But it's something that might dredge up your ghosts."

Then she pulls me by the lapels of my jacket and plants a firm kiss on my lips. I'm not quite ready to kiss her in return. So I hold her tenderly to my chest and relish our embrace for a few seconds. She's looking into my eyes with the most trustworthy expression on her face right now. My heart rate has already calmed down a bit with her acts of assurance.

I wish I could say the same thing for my racing thoughts. They're off on their own mission. It's called crazy-making. I'm so glad that she can't read minds. If that were possible, she'd probably enroll me in another sort of mental health facility. That one might be called Sane Thinking by the Peninsula.

"I thought you wanted to tell Dr. Flynn how much you needed your space from me. That you wanted to explore your life with other people. When you spoke with me yesterday, I felt you stiffen in my arms."

She laughs out loud at my fears.

"Baby, it had nothing to do with a rejection of you. Or of wanting to lose you. I was very tense from seeing Brandon in such a vulnerable state. He was so weak from the stomach pumping ordeal. I felt sad. And I was distracted and focused on his life or death situation."

"Do you want to share what you and John discussed or is it too private?"

I ask my question with nothing but sarcasm in my voice. The less she talks of Brandon, the better. I know my response is childish and possessive but I'm so needy. What can I say? I'm a mess.

"Let's just say that it had little to do with you. And a lot to do with my friend. He told me things about his past that were quite personal and even embarrassing. He made me promise I'd never share the story with you or anyone, except a therapist."

I exhale with relief. I can understand not wanting to share certain information with others. I recall how reluctant I felt to tell Ana about the fact that I'd seen my own mother die. Or that I spent four days starving by the side of her deceased body. It took an even longer time to tell her about how I was abused and tortured by my mother's pimp. Maybe B-boy's got a similar history. I'll cut him some slack, I guess.

"OK, I'm sorry. I can respect Brandon's privacy. Well then. Is there anything you want to share with me about your therapy session today?"

"I told John that I'd like to visit Ray as well as see your family over the holiday weekend. Further, your mother asked Kristen and Brandon to come for Thanksgiving dinner. I think they'd both like to meet everyone in the family and get to know Ashley too. We'll have time with one another as well as family and friends."

I nearly growl with contempt when Ana mentions the dinner with our family and both of her friends. Damn. But it's going to be a large gathering since both sets of grandparents as well as the Kavanaughs are also going to attend. Then there's Jose along with his sister and father. Well, at least there should be plenty of other people around. Maybe Brandon can focus on them for a change. I'm going to keep my wife on the far end of the table. Far away from that dude.

"Did you reach any kind of resolution about the situation here at SL? Like the amount of contact you and Brandon have with one another?"

I'm still resentful about the amount of time they see each other every day.

"We did discuss that problem. I agree with Dr. Flynn that Brandon's becoming too dependent upon me and Kristen for his social needs. I want to put more time and energy into my life after SL is over. Plus, he's moving in a different direction with his recovery now. It's best for me to focus on my future."

"I was doing some research on-line while you had your therapy session. B-boy might find a better fit at another facility. After all, he made a suicide attempt."

"Christian. That's not your decision to make. Don't forget how attached Brandon is to his life here at Sane Living. Moving to another site might be a bit too stressful at this point. He's got everything worked out with Aunt T and our therapy groups. A transfer could throw everything off kilter."

"Oh hell, Ana. At least tell me that you're not going to spend all day hanging out with him. Eight to nine hours with someone as clingy as him is just too much."

"I've agreed to spend less time with Brandon. He needs to reach out to other residents. Plus, I want to start thinking more about our life after rehab."

"What does that mean then, in terms of the time you'll spend with other things?"

"I need to think about getting my editing skills back up to speed. That means, I'm going to start reading and vetting some manuscripts here each day. Plus, I want to spend more time with you."

"That's good. Really good. Anything else?"

"I told John how much I was looking forward to Thanksgiving by spending quality time with you. I assured him that you are my top priority. We need to get our relationship back on track."

I'm turning to liquid as I take in the truth. Anastasia really loves me. She needs me. She wants me. I'm going to chant those words to myself over and over again. You are my top priority. TOP PRIORITY. I love those two words. Especially when they're combined with the word YOU. They're something I'm going to work into my own vocabulary. You are my top priority. I want to roll my tongue and my mind around those words for hours.

"Really? I'm so happy to hear you say that. Thanks, baby. Great idea. Let's talk about what will happen over the holiday. I'd like to take you home to Escala for an overnight. I've got something new I want to show you. Is that something you're comfortable doing?"

"Yes, I think so."

"I like what you're saying about the future Ana. Especially the idea of spending more time with me. Tell me what you have in mind. What about coming home to Escala?"

"If things go well between us over Thanksgiving, I will move back home with you when I've completed my recovery here. Plus I intend to start working at my SIP job full throttle at that time. I'm getting a bit bored without something compelling to do during the day."

At that, I pick my wife up and swing her around in a circle. "You don't know how thrilled I am to hear you say that you're not going to move back to Ray's place. I can't wait to have you home for good."

"I miss our life together at Escala and…I really miss you, Christian. You and all your insecurities."

"I'm sorry about that. My scars from childhood have left me more than a bit vulnerable. Thank you for sharing your decision with me. You made a great choice. Your words made my day, baby. Maybe my whole year. Hopefully, you've missed something else."

"That would be what?" She asks me this with a naughty look on her face.

"My sexpertise."

She chuckles like an embarrassed school girl at the mention of my sexual skills. Then she blushes.

"I've been dreaming about the two of us having some fun too. What we share as a couple is magic. And, yes, I miss all your intensity. There's nothing better than making love with you, Christian."

My heart skips a beat as I contemplate our reunion over the coming holiday. I'll have Mrs. Jones put together a special, private dinner for us. Then I've got some new toys that I want to share with Ana. That, as well as some KY lotion. I'll give her the best sex of her life. You better believe it. I haven't had sex with the woman I love in so long that we may have to rehearse or start from scratch. I'm so excited about her vacation I could spurt.

**AN: What should happen over Thanksgiving? Any family crises?**


	20. Chapter 20: Visiting

**Ch. 20 Visiting**

It's Wednesday afternoon. Today's the day that Ana is coming home for a four day weekend. Four days during which I'm going to convince her that she can't live without me. I'm going to be on my best behavior in order to win her back. I really blew it with her trust issues when I ran off to that bar after she revealed that she was pregnant. That led to a complete disaster for our relationship.

I know I don't deserve a second chance with Ana. She's much too good for me but I'm a man who doesn't give up. At least not about the pursuit of the meaningful aspects of life. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. I can't wait to make it her pain go away and to make us all better.

I give myself credit for bringing my wife back from the brink of despair though. I didn't give up on searching for her. I've cleared my schedule for the entire weekend. Ros knows not to interrupt me with any phone calls or texts unless there's a nuclear meltdown at one of my enterprises.

Taylor pulls the SUV up to the entrance of Sane Living to wait while I retrieve my beautiful wife. I've got a ridiculous expression on my face that some might describe as the cat who caught the canary but I don't care. I'm thrilled about the fact that she's going to be with me during Thanksgiving break. She's waiting in the lobby with a small suitcase. My girl looks healthy, happy and excited.

I'm pleased to note that Ana's alone. I wonder where Brandon and Kristen have gone. As far as I'm concerned, that's good news.

"Ready for some time in the real world, baby?"

"Totally. I've got cabin fever since the weather's been so nasty."

"You'll get a whole new perspective on Seattle from the penthouse, then."

"Oh? Is it above the clouds now?"

I shake my head while flashing a sexy and indulgent smile her way. Ana's sarcasm and smart mouth are back on display like never before. I take that as a sign that she's recovering well from her darkest days. She's been at this recovery center for more than two months now and all the training has kicked in. Thank goodness.

"That's the perspective that you'll get from our bed, angel. I can't wait to get you home."

"Christian, you're always so focused on your favorite body part."

"Only as far as you're concerned. I need to feel our magic. Don't you?" I ask her the pivotal question with bated breath.

"I can't wait to spend time with you. But I'd also like to see what Escala looks like, after all this time away."

"You'll be surprised at some of the changes I've made, baby."

She arches her eyebrows and her mouth forms an 'O' at my declaration. "As long as you don't put me into my own separate Red Room. I do want to see you naked, however."

That sends a thrill to the right part of my anatomy and soothes me like nothing else could possibly do. "You'll be lucky if you have a chance to get out of my arms."

"So we're not going over to your parents' place for Thanksgiving dinner?"

"Only if you insist, Ana."

I'm more than serious about skipping the meal with my parents if that means making another breakthrough with my wife.

"Well, I insist on spending at least Thursday afternoon at their place. It wouldn't be fair to skip their banquet. Plus I miss the whole clan. We'll have plenty of time to ourselves."

"Only for Thanksgiving afternoon then. I need you so much." I tell her this while nuzzling my face against her lovely long neck. She's smiling from ear to ear.

"Oh Christian. You're so romantic. I'm looking forward to our reunion. But I've got a few ideas of my own about tonight."

"Really? I can't wait to see what you've got planned then."

She giggles and blushes then wraps her arms around me carefully and hugs me for a long minute. We finally walk toward our waiting limo arm in arm. I couldn't be more pleased with her attitude. Maybe I should show her my insecurities more often.

"Did I tell you that Brandon won't be able to leave the facility during break?"

My mood lifts perceptibly upon hearing the news. "Is that because he's still too fragile to go out in public after his suicide attempt?"

"All the CAC's think he needs intense therapy and attention right now. It would be much too risky to let him out of their care at this juncture. He'll be involved in round the clock activities and support groups here."

"I knew Aunt T was a genius and I agree with the decision. Also, he could get very upset if he sees that the two of us are really tight and together."

She nods her head in agreement and then kisses my cheek.

"What about Kristen? Is she still coming over to my parents' place tomorrow?"

"She's going to spend the weekend with her mom and cousins. They're getting along so much better since she's been at SL. We both think it's best that she mends fences with her own family now. We're both scheduled for release on December 20th."

"I know. That'll be the best day of the year for me."

"Me too." That's when she pulls me into her arms with a sloppy but heartfelt kiss. It takes me by surprise for a second. But it doesn't take me long to return the sentiment. Ana's turned the corner as far as I'm concerned, it seems.

Once we're carefully ensconced in the privacy of the SUV's backseat, we spend the entire trip to Escala snuggling, kissing and making out. She's seated in my lap as I cover her face and neck with slow, sensuous kisses. My hands are already wandering over her body with need. She feels solid and strong.

Her lips also worship my face, neck and head. My confidence grows with every gesture on her part. She really does want us to work.

"Ana, I never want you out of sight, again." I tell her my thoughts in a low and needy voice.

She looks at me with those big eyes and an innocent smile. "That's so good to hear. I want to soothe you and get myself back on track too."

Then she pets my chest and kisses the spot where my shirt's opened up to reveal a bit of skin and body hair. I relish the contact. By the time we reach Escala, we're ready to combust.

Taylor gives me an encouraging nod when he opens the doors to help us out of the vehicle. I hand him her suitcase while we quickly make our way to the elevator. He joins us for the ride up to Escala. I've got my girl wrapped in my arms like a prize.

"I thought we'd have dinner in tonight, Ana." I whisper while we take the express ride to our condo.

"Sounds good. I'd like that. Did Gayle cook a special treat for us?"

"Oh yes, one that I specifically requested. You'll see."

Once we enter the place, I've got the lights turned down a little. I walk us toward the floor to ceiling windows near the balcony for a view of Seattle. The weather's cleared enough so that a little sun breaks through the clouds. There's a chilled sterling silver bucket near the balcony doors with a bottle of champagne resting in it.

"Let me guess." She smirks at me while looking down at the bubbly. "Is this particular bottle a Bollinger Grande Annee Rose, 1999?"

Everything's been designed to trigger happy memories tonight.

"You got it, baby. That's an excellent vintage. You can drink a little of it, right?"

"Yes, I can have a glass of the champagne. We'll celebrate this weekend with one drink."

"Great. That works for me."

I stand back to pop the bottle's cork then pour us both a small amount of the best tasting celebratory fizz around. She bats her gorgeous eyes at me as I hand her an elegant looking champagne glass.

"This vintage tastes so right; light and fresh."

"Has it really been a year and a half since we last drank some champagne together?"

"Probably more time than that."

"I propose a toast to a wonderful weekend."

We clink our glasses together and sip for a minute while gazing at one another with sheer happiness. Then we watch the growing dusk outside our window.

"Welcome home, Ana."

"Thank you."

I take our glasses and put them on the nearby dining room table. Then I lean down to kiss my wife like she's the most precious cargo in the world. That's because she is the most important person in my world. My tongue envelopes hers with need. I take my time tasting the remnants of the champagne in her mouth.

She's also apparently eager for the contact as her tongue pokes around my mouth with an playful eagerness that Ana's never demonstrated before. When I finally pull back from our mutual tongue dance, I notice that we're both breathless. Desire courses through my body like a shot of adrenaline. As I gaze into her excited eyes, I note that she's feeling the same way.

I reach out to stimulate her by caressing those soft cheeks with my hand. I run my fingers through her unruly head of hair and along her cheekbones. She moans as I complete the cycle.

"Why don't we eat a little before you start feeling the effects of the drink?"

I pull us toward the dining area. There's a large bouquet of jasmine scented flowers in the center of the table. I seat us at the fully set table and notice that Gayle's already lit the candles. Once we're settled, Mrs. Jones makes an appearance.

She's quiet but confident as they make contact again. "Anastasia, it's so great to have you home again."

I notice that Ana's eyes have filled with tears. They're brimming over her lower lids. That's when she stands and gives Mrs. Jones the warmest hug I've ever seen between them. Both women spend a minute just holding the other with heartfelt care. I'm almost sobbing myself as I witness their reunion.

"Gayle. You look wonderful. I've missed you more than you'd ever know."

"Escala hasn't been the same without you. Welcome. We need you here."

"That's so reassuring to hear. I never dreamed I'd be able to return. Not after the mess I made of myself."

That's when I jump in to defend my girl. "It wasn't your fault. Your feelings and thoughts were manipulated by the grand master of evil and deceit."

Ana sighs and huffs a bit. I realize that she's feeling guilty about her role in the whole affair after all. I don't blame her for it, whatsoever. I blame myself for driving my wife into Jack's dark web.

Gayle's the picture of discretion as she leaves us alone and busies herself with a serving tray in the kitchen. She returns a short while later and makes our mouths tingle with excitement.

"We've got a special treat for you tonight, dear."

She holds a basket filled with various types of rolls. We both select gluten-free options and place the ceramic containers holding both green and black olive pate near our bread plates.

"Let me guess. Is the entree your scrumptious mushroom ravioli smothered with a unique marinara sauce?"

"Good memory, Ana. That and asparagus spears with herb infused butter."

"That sounds like just the right combination."

I decide to whet her appetite with the final treat. "She's also prepared bananas flambe for dessert."

"My mouth is already close to drooling. The meal sounds so appealing. I'm going to start gaining all my weight back if I spend the weekend eating your amazing concoctions though."

"Well I'm sure Mr. Grey will help you work off those extra calories. He's been utterly miserable without you here. The year without you has been sobering for all of us."

Gayle gives me a wink and then smiles at my wife with a suggestive look. Ana blushes at the implication of what we'll do while she's visiting Escala. I need to move things along. I'll have to give Mrs. Jones a raise for that little speech.

"Well, let's eat baby. You'll need all your energy for what I've got planned."

She nods enthusiastically while we both spend several minutes savoring the culinary treat. Once we've consumed our meal with a series of appreciative comments, I start in on my plan for the evening.

When we're done with phase one, I pull her up and into my arms. We kiss for a while then I lead her toward our sumptuous bedroom. I slowly peel the clothes off of her body. Her skin and figure look better than ever.

She's being quite cooperative. She needs our hookup as much as I do.

"Oh God, baby. I can't believe how incredible you look right now."

She blushes and looks at me from under her thick dark eyelashes. "I could say the same of you. You really are incredibly good looking, Christian. The sight of your body always gives me the chills."

"Just a pretty package, baby."

As it turns out, I've decided to let her set the pace for where we're going tonight. She massages my chest and looks me over as though I'm a jewel. Our lovemaking takes on a whole new flavor when she takes over.

I'm ecstatic with joy as we proceed and I can't resist telling her my thoughts. "My mouth starts salivating whenever I look at those beautiful breasts of yours. Don't get me started on your legs. And the pink hue to your skin just gets me hard."

Ana gives me a nip on my neck then. She spends a lot of time caressing the hair and skin on my body. We behave in an almost animalistic manner tonight. My wife takes her time with each phase of our coupling. She's licking and kissing and stroking me as though I'm a relic. It's incredibly stimulating.

We both seem to want to savor each moment of this reconciliation. Our sexual moves are filled with symbolic moves this evening. When we finally connect, she doesn't ask me to speed up my thrusts. That's a definite change from the past.

She finally blurts out her thoughts after letting go. "You are the best possible person for me, Christian."

When we finish our simultaneous orgasms, I sigh with absolute contentment. I'm staring at her with the most adoring look on my face. It's ridiculous. We spend a countless amount of time holding one another. Then it's time for phase three of my plan.

"There's something I want to ask you, Anastasia." I whisper this idea while my fingers entwine with hers over the gap between where we're both connected.

Her mouth drops as she anticipates where I'm going with my move. She's looking at me with the most ardent expression on her face.

"Remember how you wanted romance at the start of our relationship?"

"Of course I remember, Christian. You weren't interested in any sort of real intimacy at the time."

"I was more than a fool then. You turned my world upside down within weeks. You showed me what love, devotion and care could do to someone as sick and twisted as I was back then."

Tears fill her eyes. "I was a fool to ever doubt your love and run off with the Hyde."

I can hardly speak as I look into the face of the woman I love. "We'll start again. Why don't we renew our wedding vows? We can go to Las Vegas and do it up right at the Bellagio."

"That's intriguing and totally unexpected. But let's wait until I'm released from SL. You're so eager to make us whole, Christian and I'm impressed. I need to do this the right way. "

"That's fine, angel. Whenever you're ready."

"Let's go there after the holidays are over. We can invite our family and friends."

My heart fills with so much emotion that I hold her too close. She actually gasps for air. She's also trembling. I pull us both up and off the bed then. We're naked but standing face to face in our bedroom.

Then I lower myself onto one knee while Ana's standing upright. I hold my breath as I look up into those lovely eyes. They're full of raw emotion.

"I love you with every beat of my heart, Anastasia." I tell her this while pulling a ring box from the nightstand.

Who knows what happened with our original wedding ring? Hyde probably hocked it for drug money.

"I feel the same way about you, Christian."

"Let me spend the rest of my life showing you that I truly love only you. I want to prove to you once again how much I can protect you. You already know you're cherished. Please say that you'll marry me all over again, Ana. Come back to me and share my life."

Tears spill from my eyes and down my cheeks. I blink them away. She pulls me into a standing position and then kisses me like she's a starving artist.

"My poor, insecure husband. I believe that you love me with a passion that won't quit. After all that I've put you through with Jack and my addiction. The way I let him ruin my life in San Diego was shameful. Yet you rescued me from a depraved lifestyle and paid for my therapy."

"Don't forget what I put you through with Elena, my tantrum over our pregnancy, and my drunken tirade."

"I really want to start again too. I intend to spend the rest of my life making you happy, Christian. You deserve all the care and attention that I can give you. That includes my unwavering sense of devotion."

"You'll re-do our vows then?"

"Oh Christian, of course I'll refresh my commitment to you. You've been so patient and supportive with my recovery and all that we've lost."

My tears continue to flow as I look directly into the eyes of the only woman who makes me tick.

"I want to cherish you again and make you happy every day. I want to bear your children and create a wonderful haven for you. In our home."

Ana shares all of her plans for our future with absolute conviction.

Then, I open the box and show my wife the large diamond ring I've chosen for our second-time engagement. It's at least three carats and shaped like a rectangle. The platinum band is encrusted with sapphires as well as yellow diamonds on each side of the central platform.

She smiles with unmitigated joy. "The ring looks stunning. You already know the sapphire is my birthstone. And your romantic plan for our vows truly moves me."

A huge smile makes its way across my face. Then I take the jewel from its box and slide it on her finger.

"You are now my fiancé again, it's official." I kiss each of her slender fingers and, finally, the new ring with so much reverence I feel as though I've just conducted a religious service.

"I. Am. Yours." She tells me this with so much feeling that I sigh audibly.

I run my fingers through her hair as I inhale the scent of the woman I love with all that I am and ever will be. She returns the gesture with a passionate kiss for several seconds. Then wraps her arms around me as though I'm a lifeboat. We hold each other with utter confidence.

"I've got a plan for us too."

"Tell me about tomorrow. OK?" She nods her agreement.

**AN: Happy? Thank you so much to those readers who warned me about the reality of Brandon's treatment. I couldn't let him get stressed at the Grey's home after that. XXOXX.**


	21. Chapter 21: Thanksgiving Weekend

**Ch. 21 Thanksgiving Break**

I'm staring at my amazing and wonderful girl as she sleeps soundly by my side. She looks like someone without a care in the world as she dreams of our future. At least, I hope that's what she's thinking about. She's got her arm flung over my chest and her hair's splayed over both of us like a curtain. I'm ecstatic. Ana's in my arms and we've just had the most incredible physical connection as a couple.

Sleep isn't coming easily to me tonight. Not after all that's just happened between us. I'm on a high like never before. I cannot believe that Ana's finally agreed to live with me again. That is, when she's done with her rehab stint. My plan to win her back tonight worked like a charm. Just to make sure, I peek under the covers at the engagement ring on her finger. Yep, she's still wearing the rock. And she's smiling very sweetly as she dreams.

After phase three of my plan kicked in, she promised to not only make me a happy home but have my children. She wants to give me a haven to return to after I've been mixing it up all day with sharks. I can't wait to start our life again. It's all I hoped for and so much more. She's the best woman in the world for me. Of that, I'm sure.

What happened between us tonight is a scenario that I never really imagined would unfold. The most I dared to achieve this weekend was to remind her of how compelling and enriching our relationship happened to be before Jack ruined it all. I intended to show her all that she'd missed of my sexpertise.

I don't deserve a second chance with her but I'm more than happy to take it. A wife and a family are all within my grasp now. Tonight's the best night of my life. Ana and I have reconciled in a major way. I may need to take a drink just to get some relief from the adrenaline that's coursing through my body at the moment.

After our re-engagement, I took out our waffle robes and led her up to what she'd referred to in the past as the "Red Room of Pain". She looked a bit hesitant.

"I can't wait to show you what I've done with my former sex chamber."

She's hardly breathing as I take her by the hand to its entrance. After I unlock the heavy wooden door, I flick on the lights and give her a full minute to take in the scene.

"Oh my goodness, Christian. It's all gone. All the carabineers, the wheel, your drawer of metal balls, butt plugs, whips, canes, feathers and various sex paraphernalia. What happened to all of it?"

"All gone. As you can imagine, it was easy for Taylor to discretely contact certain key players in the BDSM clubs around Seattle. We were able to liquidate the assets within a matter of days. My toys were very much in demand and of high quality."

"Do people actually buy used sex toys on a regular basis? Isn't that rather risky? You know with diseases and the like?"

"Anastasia. You're being very silly now. All the items were sanitized and sterilized by Mrs. Jones. We even had them shrink wrapped after testing to make sure every last vestige of bacteria had been removed."

My wife just shook her head in wonder. "I can't believe what you've done in here."

"So do you like what we've used the space for now?" I indicate the change in décor with a broad sweep of my arm.

The room's now become a high end nursery with a bassinet, crib, changing table, diaper storage and disposal area, and every possible contraption for an infant and its care. There are at least two mobile devices hanging from the ceiling above both the crib and changing table. The objects dangling from them are focused around all my favorite hobbies – sailing, flying, gliding and driving.

"I can't tell you how much it means to me to see how you've transformed the room. It's beautiful, light, and so reassuring to know that you're thinking about future children. Our family."

"I want it all with you. We need a family to make us whole. I want to give you the chance to be a mother again."

I tell my wife this as she pulls me toward herself with joy. She kisses my cheek and runs her hands through my hair. I think I may have purred in response.

"Thank you Christian. We've both been through so much with the loss of little blip. I never dreamed you wanted to start a family or even try to go there again. It nearly killed me when I miscarried our precious little one. This room symbolizes your commitment to me and our life together."

"It's all about our future. Getting you pregnant is the least I can do to make things up to you, baby. I was a selfish horse's ass about our pregnancy the first time around. I can't think of any better way to get us back on track. If you want a child soon, I'm more than happy to accommodate you."

"I'm amazed at your change in outlook and in emphasis. It seems our crisis has really put you on another path in life."

"It made me realize how desperately I want you and a family. My life will never be complete without that. Should we try to make that happen soon after you're done with Sane Living?"

"I do want to get pregnant and have a baby but…not right away. We still need to adjust to one another again. That may take a little while. We've been living apart for longer than we did together."

"I'm going to let you set the pace on how and when a pregnancy happens. Just know that I want you. I also want a family soon. But I need you to feel ready for that phase of our life."

She giggled a little then. "Well, we'd better start practicing for that outcome then. We've been out of step with the basics."

"I can't wait to reignite the flame, angel."

Don't get me started on how great the sex was between us tonight. We were definitely in the zone and going at it for hours. I couldn't seem to merge with my woman's incredible body enough. Ana's perfect for me. We're amazing together. I made love to every part of her with my mouth, hands, and my favorite body part for half the night. She seemed to relish it. She was, I must admit, insatiable. I lost myself in her again and again. Thank goodness our magic is still there.

We'd both been deprived of a regular sex life for so long that we had to compensate. And did we ever make up for it! Our connection felt like the sun, moon and stars were spinning around. She's my muse, there's no doubt. Ana seemed more than thrilled with my performance. The energy level between us can only be characterized as sizzling.

That's when my girl surprised me with her own plan for the night. It consisted of a little gadget that she found on the internet. That toy finished us off for the night with a big bang. The small but potent device was part of her reconciliation plan, I guess. She's such a tease. It actually freaked me out at first though.

"Let me introduce you to a wonderful remote controlled vibrator that Kristen told me about." Ana announced this to me after her second orgasm of the evening. My head was off the pillow in an instant.

She made a move toward the top drawer of the nightstand.

I was shocked that she even brought such a topic up. And so quickly after we'd started up with our amazing sex life.

"What the hell, Ana? Are you going all kinky on me now?"

I must admit the first thought through my mind was whether Ana had ever tried out this gadget before. I was more than happy to rely upon vanilla sex tonight and forever. But I was secretly pleased that she was adding a little syrup into our dessert.

On the other hand, it made me wonder what the two girls discussed concerning their sex lives. There's no way I want Ana and Kristen discussing what goes on in our bedroom. After all, my wife signed an NDA concerning our privacy at the very start of our relationship.

"Since when is Kristen privy to our private activities and proclivities?"

My voice sounded just a bit paranoid as I broached the topic. I actually felt more than a bit pissed at the very idea that this young friend of my wife's would be given any information about our relationship.

"Settle down, Christian. It wasn't like that at all. You know how discrete I can be. She's not privy to any of our sexual issues. We talked about sex toys one day after group therapy was over. When she was hooked on the big H, Kristen did a little hooking you see. Does that shock you?"

"Not really, given how potent and powerful the addiction to pain relievers can be. How else can these young women afford their steadily growing drug habits? Anyway, enough about her. So how did you end up discussing sex toys?"

"Kristen actually mentioned the implements that she used on a regular basis with her customers. She talked about the issue in passing. Told me that this particular kind of vibrator is the top rated one out there, for couples. Both partners feel the stimulation at the same time. All the best call girls use this clip on a regular basis according to Kristen."

"Well, I've never heard about it. Then again, I've been focused on you and you alone for more than the past year and a half. I wasn't that interested in buying any more toys after we were separated…You didn't tell her anything about our sex life did you?"

"Of course not, Christian. I'm still honoring our privacy agreement. So I researched the device online all on my own. I didn't even tell her that I bought one. But I wanted to surprise you. I've been dreaming about us and this toy for a couple of weeks already."

My wife pulled out what looked like a giant rubber paper clip from the nightstand drawer then. It was purple two inches thick and approximately four inches long. She must have slipped it in there from her purse when I wasn't looking. Her plans for us were certainly thorough. I had to chuckle at that.

"I thought we might try this on for size. It stimulates both of us at the same time. It's called the We-Vibe. This is the latest version and it, ta-da, has several different pulses."

I stared at her as though she'd started speaking fluent Swahili. I swallowed nervously. Her interest in this device was a first for me.

"Missed some of the old toys, did you?" I tried to sound lighthearted as I joked around with her but I actually felt somewhat intimidated.

"Toys are part of what makes us tick as a couple. Right?"

"True. I just didn't think you really liked the implements from the Red Room."

"This is a variation on just a couple of those former adventures that I will, hopefully, enjoy and cherish. I have no desire for the whips, restraints and wheels though. Don't get me wrong about that. Forget about whatever you did with Elena, your subs and the back door stuff. That's taboo for me now."

"That's what I thought." I felt relieved as we talked.

"So relax and enjoy it, Christian. I watched some YouTube videos about how all this works."

I took a few deep breaths to calm down. Then I gave myself over to the moment. Ana's always been a good student and this was another learning experience for her and for us.

My girl gave me a loving peck on the neck before slipping the device on herself. I grew harder than a tortoise shell as I gazed at what she was doing to herself. My final thought was, bring it on.

Then she pulled on me and indicated that I should, "Get in here too."

I couldn't believe my good fortune. I complied with my wife's wishes, at once.

"Yes, ma'am. You're a greedy lover tonight, baby."

She was full of surprises but I wasn't about to complain. The stimulation of her body along with the vibrator took me to the next level in a hurry. It was the best feeling ever. And, Ana was the one to initiate it.

"I can't tell you how much I've missed our amazing sex life Christian."

"Ditto, angel."

That's all I had time to mumble before we were tumbling around in the sheets again. I had no idea that she'd be introducing a little kink into the equation so soon but I was thrilled beyond words when she did. I guess once she'd been initiated into my world of fun and games, there was no turning back. She needed that extra bit of stimulation like a drug. So did I.

We slept until almost noon. Then it was time to dress and head to my parent's place for the big day. I was more than proud of the fact that Ana would be wearing her new ring. I planned to make an announcement about our status and renewal plans after we had dessert.

I chuckled as I thought about the look on my mother's face. Of course, I'd also be interested in monitoring Jose's facial expression. No matter how much he claimed to love Mia, I knew he always carried the torch for my girl. It's time to stake my claim to my girl in a very public manner. Again.

**AN: Reactions to Ana's toy? Any suggestions about what should happen at the Thanksgiving dinner gathering? **


	22. Chapter 22: The Dinner

**Ch. 22 The Dinner**

Just before it's time to make our way to my parent's place, I surprise my wife with a dress that I selected for her using my personal shopper at Neimann's. It's a curve hugging black satin number painted with white gold and sky blue accents. Now that Ana's got a little more curves to show, it'll be stimulating to see her rock them in public. There's a matching jacket to wear in case Jose gets a little too interested.

"What do you think of this look?" I ask after I lead her into our closet by the hand and pull the dress out of its storage bag.

She looks it over with a scowl at first. "Gee, thanks, baby. It's lovely. In fact, I think it looks quite artsy."

"You don't look thrilled about it. Try it on for a while." I take it off the hanger and hand it over.

She scurries into the bathroom to change. I snicker at her modesty and shake my head a bit. It's so like Ana to feel as though she needs to cover herself around me. She's always so insecure and modest about her incredible body. I know every inch of her flesh by heart and can't find anything to criticize. Plus we've spent most of the night exploring one another and I've seen her naked during our entire encounter. Nonetheless, she's being coy.

When she finally emerges from the bath, she models her outfit for me. There's a blush all over her face.

"The dress might show a bit too much cleavage for a family gathering but I really like it. In fact, it's perfect." She gives me a grateful smile and I melt.

"Thanks, angel. I like looking at your cleavage baby. And, you can always button it up a bit during the dinner."

"I might insert a modesty panel in the front of it. At least, while we're at your parents' place. You can see all the cleavage of mine that you'd like. The jacket, however, could get a bit warm with all those bodies in the dining room." She gives me a seductive grin.

"I love your cleavage, baby." I counter back quickly since I was anticipating a little bit of resistance anyway. "Whatever works for you at dinner is fine, angel. I'll be taking that dress off of you before too long anyway."

"At the boat house? Or in your old bedroom?"

"Maybe both places. I can't keep my hands off of you now that we're a couple again."

"You'd better watch yourself, Christian. I may be groping you in all the right places, during the meal."

Ana's smart mouth is back in action like never before.

"I'll look forward to your moves then. Just make sure your chair is close to mine." She giggles at the very thought of what will be happening under the Thanksgiving table.

By the time we're dressed and in the car, the two of us are feeling like the couple we used to be. She's added heels, diamond earrings, a matching necklace and a little makeup to her ensemble tonight. I'm entranced, of course.

"You look inspiring." I tell her this while driving us in my R8. I'm holding her left hand, with the new engagement ring on it, nearly the entire time that we're on the road. I kiss it every now and then with enthusiasm. She seems to get a kick out of my behavior.

"Don't get me started on what I think of you in your new blue suit."

"Why not? I can use a little boost to the old self-esteem after all the assaults that my ego's taken during the past year or so. I need to hear your praise, Ana."

I tell her this in all seriousness. My ego's been battered over what Jack did to our marriage. It didn't help that going public about my BDSM activities with Elena made me into a one-man media freak show for a while. Plus all the angst that we've been through recently has taken a toll on my mood.

"Alright, then. I'm attracted to every inch of you, Christian. Your face, hips, ass, voice, body shape…you're perfect as far as I'm concerned. They get me excited. Your skills as a lover are also top-notch. I'd actually underestimated how amazing our sex life happened to be. But you've reawakened all my desires in a profound way last night."

She tells me her feelings with a blush on her skin that travels from the base of her neck to the top of her hairline. I wonder if that's because I'm turning her on or she's just a bit uncomfortable sharing her deepest thoughts with me. Whatever happens to be the case, I'm thrilled.

"Thanks, baby. I need to hear those words coming from your mouth every day. Just to make sure we're on the same page."

"What happened last night with the engagement and plans for a renewal of our vows meant the world to me, Christian. You're so thoughtful. It was perfect, romantic and convincing."

"Your reaction meant so much to me as well. We're a matched pair. My life won't be right until you're living with me every day. I can't wait to have a family with you."

"I can't wait to make us whole again too. I've missed our wonderful life as a couple."

We kiss just before my mother, Grace, opens the door to greet us.

"Hey kids. You're both glowing and look wonderful. I'm thrilled that you're finally here today."

Grace tells us this while pulling Ana in for a long hug. She kisses me on the cheek and pats my arm.

Anastasia gushes with joy. "It's been too long since I've seen the whole family. We're both so happy to spend Thanksgiving with the clan."

That's when my mother's eyes notice the large diamond on Ana's left finger.

"What's this? A new bit of jewelry from my son?"

I give my mother a stern warning look and pull my girl toward my chest.

"Yes, Christian gave it to me last evening." That's about all that Ana will admit at the moment.

"We'll talk about it more once dinner's over." I tell my mother as we cross the threshold and enter the vestibule of my parent's palatial home.

Grace gives my arm a squeeze as her eyes dance with delight. There's no doubt that mom wants us back together and whole again. I could kiss her for the good intentions that surround her greeting.

Then my dad, grandparents and other members of the Grey clan welcome us into the living room.

Dad gestures for us to join him by the mantel. "Christian, Anastasia. Would you like something to drink?"

"No thanks, dad. We're good." I make a face at the mention of alcohol. My father looks positively crestfallen when he realizes what he's just said in front of Ana. Old habits die hard, especially around the holidays.

He apologizes in a soft voice to my wife. "Sorry, I forgot about your recovery issues."

She assures him that there's no offense. "No problem, dad. I know you're just trying to be a good host."

Then I add more to the discussion in a whisper. "We had our one drink of the weekend last evening."

Carrick nods and then tells my wife what we both know to be true. "Anastasia, you look quite healthy and very happy."

"Thanks, dad. Christian's been responsible for most of that." She gives me a radiant smile.

I put my arm around my wife's shoulder in a protective manner.

He chuckles and gestures toward the other guests. Both sets of grandparents have gathered toward one end of the living room. The Trevelyan's look at Ana as though she's a specimen in a museum.

"We're thrilled that you're almost all better." My grandma tells us her thoughts with tears streaming down her face. Grandpa smiles and pats my wife on her shoulder.

"It's been far too long since this lovely young woman came to dinner at Grace's table."

"You've got that right." I agree with enthusiasm as we move from one to the other set of grandparents. They're equally kind to us and clearly pleased to see us together. There's nothing like the approval of one's clan to cement our bond. Both of my grandmothers are looking into Ana's eyes for reassurance. She gives them plenty of hope with her clear eyed and healthy glow.

Just before we head to the dining room, Kate and her family arrive with Elliott and Ashley. That causes a big stir too since the baby's making her first appearance in public. My grandparents are all giddy about it. They're practically shoving one another out of the way to peer into the child's face.

"She's absolutely perfect," Grace tells Kate and Elliott. Both of them look so proud of their daughter that it's ridiculous. I have to admit my niece looks like the spitting image of Kate. Same mouth, coloring, expression. How is it possible that some children look like clones of their parent?

"Ashley seems to like all the attention." Ana tells me while watching all the adults make fools of themselves over the newborn. I'm wondering if she's thinking ahead about our children. There's no doubt that our little ones will be showered with love and affection just as much as Ashley is at the moment. I can't wait for that moment.

"Next year, you'll be the one with the newborn infant." I whisper this to my wife so that no one else can hear. She hugs me around the waist and smiles with joy.

"We'll see." She's not resisting the idea but not totally on board with it either.

The Kavanaugh family is all here, including Ethan. He's proud to be an uncle, no doubt. He smiles and looks around at those who've arrived already. Ana gives him a wave and I nod politely.

Elliott's telling anyone who will listen about his daughter.

"She's very active, even in the crib. Her arms and legs are moving all the time. Just like me." Of course he's got to find a way to demonstrate his contribution to their child. Their physical resemblance is subtle.

Kate's describing her experience with a nearly painless childbirth to Grandma Grey. "I had no idea how quickly Ashley would come into the world. She practically slipped right out of my birth canal."

Grandma looks skeptical about the story. We were there just after she gave birth and know that it's true however. Ana should be so lucky.

"At that rate, you'll be having a few more little ones then." Elliott's announces the idea with a teasing tone to his voice. Kate shakes her head but gives him a wink. He's encouraged about the whole parenting scene now that he's fallen in love with his infant daughter. I think their wedding is also imminent.

Mr. and Mrs. Kavanaugh are laughing and telling my parents about the childcare issues they're now overseeing. I guess the new nanny has them all impressed.

That's when I notice that Ethan's looking at his sister with a bit of a pout on his face. For the first time, I realize how difficult it must be for Kate's brother to come to my parents' place for the day. It's going to be more than awkward when he sees Mia with Jose for the first time. Thank goodness those two haven't made an appearance yet. I know how crazy I'd feel if the situation were reversed. I admire him for putting his own feelings aside in order to be with all of us on this wonderful occasion.

I just hope one of our grandparents doesn't say something inappropriate about the past connection between Mia and Ethan. My heart goes out to the guy for the first time ever. Maybe I'm getting a lot more mature about life, now that I've had my share of loss in adulthood.

That's when the doorbell rings. Mia comes bursting into the room with her usual frenetic energy. "Mom, dad guess where we're going for our honeymoon! Jose just showed me some of the pics on his IPhone. It's amazing." She's practically hyperventilating as she talks.

Jose's actually wearing a dark suit and his hair's slicked back for a change. He looks proud of himself as they join the rest of the crowd. He avoids looking at me and Ana. I've got my arm around her just in case he's wondering about our status. Mia's wearing a pair of stilettos and a green suit with red accents on it. There's nothing that says holiday like those colors.

"Are you going to the space shuttle?" Elliott jokes with a guffaw.

Jose's getting a little feisty and responds with a bit of attitude. "For a honeymoon? We need gravity to make things click, bro."

"Well guess, everyone!" Mia urges us on with enthusiasm and a smile that won't quit.

The grandparents shrug and one of them offers up the idea of Hawaii.

"Too predictable," Mia responds.

Ana pipes up with her own inspired vision. "Somewhere very picturesque. I'd say Alaska."

"You're getting warm."

"How about Lake Louise and Banff?" I offer. Jose looks at me for the first time. He looks a bit disappointed. I must have guessed correctly.

Mia runs to me with a hug. "Christian, you're a genius. You guessed it. I can't wait to do some hiking and sightseeing in that area."

"It's a stunning place, in the right season."

"I'll say. You'll have to take Ana there for a vacation, then."

"I'll take her anywhere she'd like to go. That is, except for San Diego."

Ana looks surprised when I let that thought slip from my mouth. I hope that doesn't set her off. "Sorry, baby." I look into her face for a cue but don't see anything more.

"No problem. I feel that same way. Glad you do too." She kisses my cheek then.

At this point, Jose's staring at Ana with an unreadable expression on his face. Maybe he's shocked that we're so comfortable with one another again. Perhaps he's surprised at Ana's slightly larger body frame. Whatever it is, I don't want him looking at my wife. Ever. I give him a stern look but that doesn't deter him. He's now homing in on her.

Jose then walks over to us and speaks with ease. "I just want to let you know how healthy and happy you look, Ana. I'm really pleased for the two of you." He's acting more than sincere as he offers his hand to my wife. He seems to have changed.

"Thanks so much! I feel almost like myself again. Christian's been nothing but supportive during my entire recovery."

"I've heard all about it from Mia. We're happy the two of you are going to be in our wedding party."

I sigh with relief and shake Jose's hand myself. I guess he's finally gotten over his crush on my girl.

"I just want you to make my sister happy." I say this with a wink and smile but mean every word of it.

Jose looks me in the eye then and nods his head with enthusiasm. "I have every intention of doing just that. I'm in love with her. Totally." Then he looks Ana in the face as if to convince her as well. She pats his hand in a friendly way.

"Of course you are Jose. We're more than thrilled for both of you."

Grace announces that it's time to eat then. We all file into the massive dining room. The aromas coming from that room and the kitchen are making all of us drool. I seat Ana and myself across from my Trevelyan grandparents. Mia and Jose are on my right while the Kavanaugh clan is on my left. Ethan's at the far end of the table. He's talking with his mother and looks animated.

After we work out way through course after course, I feel Ana's hand on my thigh. I look at my wife with carnal thoughts about the boat house in mind. After we're done here, that is.

"You're just going to have to be patient, baby." I whisper this in her ear as my Grandfather Ted finally notices her ring.

"Is that a gift from my grandson?" As he asks Ana the question, his eyes begin to twinkle.

"Yes it is. Christian just gave it to me last evening. He wants to make an announcement about it in a few minutes."

"Well that should be an interesting story then."

I nod a bit at Ted but say very little. When dessert's served and we're all feeling a bit stuffed, I tap my knife on the nearest champagne glass. I stand then to speak.

"I want to let everyone know about a date that you should put on your calendars because it's going to be another big event."

That gets the attention of everything with a heartbeat in the room. Grace looks at me with joy. "In early January, Ana and I are going to renew our wedding vows at the Bellagio in Las Vegas. We hope you'll join us. I'll pay for all your expenses, of course."

There's a pause for a moment as the news settles in. Then Mia, Elliott, Kate and the entire family start clapping with nothing but heartfelt enthusiasm. Elliott whistles his approval. Mia jumps up and down with glee.

I pull Ana to her feet as she flashes her huge new ring for all to see.

"Christian and I decided to get engaged again last evening. I'll be able to rejoin the Trevelyan-Grey clan and my man, in three weeks' time. We wanted to mark the occasion in just the right way."

Carrick stands and proposes a toast to us. "To my son and his lovely wife. Welcome home, Anastasia, at last. You're the only woman for our son."

"Thank you all so much! It means a lot to me and us that you're here today. I know how desperately I've missed this wonderful family. We have so many good things to focus on in the immediate future. Mia's wedding, Kate's baby, and our reconciliation."

"That's right." Grandma Trevelyan speaks with conviction. "We can't wait to see the two of you with a little one too."

Ana chuckles while I give my grandmother a huge smile. "We'll be working on that soon. Trust me."

There's a collective "awws" from somewhere in the room. Then we sit down again to finish our food.

After we push away from the dining table and start to break up into smaller clusters, I notice that Ethan's staring at my sister with nothing but frustration on his brow. He finally gets up in a rush and makes his way to where she's talking with Kate. Ashley's in my Mia's arms.

"I wish I didn't care so much." He spits out his words with feeling. There's regret and anger in his voice. "I have to talk with you." He raises his voice so that those nearby look over at them.

I make my way to where they're both standing with Ana's hand in mind.

Mia looks into his eyes with a guilty and perplexed look on her face. "I'm sorry Ethan. We just weren't meant to be." Her face has gone ashen with shock.

"You've got that wrong. I'm not giving up on you. Not yet anyway." There's a tormented sound to his words.

"It's too late." The words have left my mouth before I'm even aware that I've said them.

Now he's practically shouting. "I'm still in love with your sister. It will never be over." Thank goodness Jose's talking with Carrick in the family room and didn't hear him.

"Ethan. Let's go somewhere to discuss this." Mia suggests the idea while handing the baby back to Kate. Kate's staring at her brother with shock and concern.

His eyes never leave my sister's forlorn looking face. "I want to speak with only you. Please. I must know how you feel about everything."

My sister looks confused but willing to do as he asks. "OK. We'll go to the boat house then." She sounds concerned but confident as she makes her decision.

"Christian will you keep Jose occupied for a while?"

"Of course. Ana, why don't you keep Kate company while I make plans with my future brother in law?"

My girl agrees at once. Mia and Ethan have grabbed their jackets and slipped out the back door before anyone notices. I've zoned in on Jose like a missile in the other room.

"I wonder if you'd like to help me out with the plans for our wedding vows." Jose looks surprised but pleased with my request.

"Sure. I'd be happy to do that."

**AN: There's never a dull moment around the Grey family. Should Ethan and Mia reconcile or is it too late? **


	23. Chapter 23: The Boathouse

Ch. 23 The Boathouse

I can't resist taking Anastasia to my old bedroom. My memories from our last session in here are more than pleasant. They're earthshaking.

"Want to take some time out and reminisce in my parents' home?" I ask her this with a flirtatious smile as I incline my head upward.

"I'm guessing it won't be in the boathouse since that's going to be otherwise occupied by Mia and Ethan."

"Don't worry, I've got that place bugged. I'll review their conversation later."

The crease in Ana's brow indicates that I've crossed the line. "Christian. That's just wrong. I'm going there myself. To tell them about your inappropriate snooping."

"OK, baby. Point well taken. I won't even turn the listening equipment on then. Besides, I'd much rather spend time making out with you in my bedroom. Do you want to see what's going on up there?"

"Sure. I'd like to see some of your pictures from the past."

She's got more than a sarcastic tone to her voice. But the change in my wife's demeanor lets me know she's quite interested in what I've got planned. We tiptoe upstairs before anyone else notices we're gone.

As soon as the door's locked, I start tugging off her jacket. Her curves and cleavage have me panting like a dog in heat. I stand back a bit to admire the view.

"That satin dress really does emphasize all your assets."

She models the sexy as sin dress for my enjoyment. Then whispers, "You knew exactly what you were doing when you bought me this little number. It's got Christian Grey written all over it."

I'm too excited to do much more than groan while I look her up and down. I take the dress off of her in a matter of seconds.

"Do you want to try out my old mattress?"

The question is moot as I see that she's nodding and already lost in the moment. I'm burning with lust and love all the way to the very core of my being as we explore each other's body.

She pulls me down on my old mattress in a nanosecond. That's just after I shed my suit jacket and tie. Oh yes!

I sure hope the family can hear us as we get it on once again. We're definitely making a lot of noise. She might be embarrassed, however. Hey, who cares? It's no surprise. We've just gotten engaged again.

After we've finished round one of our encounter from heaven, Ana huffs out her satisfaction. "I can't believe how much I've missed you and us, Christian."

"You've got that right angel. We're amazing together. Like Bella and Edward."

Ana takes my face in between her hands and gives me a grateful nuzzle and the most adoring gaze ever. I'm feeling loved and needed. She's my woman and she's back in the driver's seat.

"Thank you, baby. I'm so looking forward to our future."

Then we snuggle for a while after we lose ourselves to passion once again.

In the meantime, this is what happened between Mia and Ethan in the infamous boathouse.

Ethan looked into Mia's eyes with so much angst that she nearly collapsed from sheer pity.

"Mia, I've tried getting over you. I've even dated other women but I can't stop loving you. Why did you break it off with me in the first place? I must know."

"It was just after I was taken for ransom and released. I was a mess and felt you didn't understand what I was going through. In truth, I was reeling from PTSD. The whole family was operating in crisis mode then. I hardly felt any relief, since Ana was taken in my place. I wanted to be numb."

"I probably wasn't being very supportive of you then." Ethan's face had a tortured look. "All I can tell you for sure is that I'm miserable without you. I've been so ever since you dropped me."

"I felt so guilty about the fact that Christian paid my ransom but lost his wife in the deal. He was devastated and I was a poor substitute."

"I was always deeply in love with you, Mia. Only you. After your kidnapping and return, it felt as though you were drifting away. I guess I just didn't realize how much you were hurting."

"I'm not sure I had much of a capacity to reach you at that point in time."

Mia admitted this much to Ethan with caution. She was growing less sure of herself with every second that ticked away on the clock.

"What did Jose give you that I couldn't, Mia? Please tell me and I'll make it up to you."

"Shared concern over Anastasia's fate along with a deep sense of loss. He knew how I felt. Maybe an appreciation of the anxiety we both felt."

"So you bonded with Jose over what was going on with your sister-in-law's disappearance?"

"I guess that's one way to look at it. It seemed you weren't on my wave length anymore. I got into a funk over what happened to my brother and his life. At the time I felt that you didn't give me space to work through my trauma. I was having nightmares and flashbacks and felt exhausted every day."

"I'm so…so sorry. I've been talking things over with a therapist. I've changed. Really. I hope you can give us another chance. Do you have any feelings left for me? At all?"

"Of course. But I'm also in love with Jose."

"I know you're engaged to him and all. But can't you at least consider your feelings for me? After all, things are fine with Ana and Christian now. There's no more reason for anxiety over them. They are happy again."

"My feelings for you? They're really not an option anymore. But it's comforting to know that you really loved me, Ethan. I'm sorry."

"There must be some room in your heart for me. If so, why not at least weigh your feelings for both of us?"

"Ethan, I'm about to get married. The wedding is all planned. We've even got our honeymoon booked."

"It's never too late, Mia, for us. Please give our love a chance. We could have it all. Just like Christian and Ana. I'll spend every minute of forever showing you how much I adore you. Cherish you. Need you."

My sister's lips began to twitch as she looked into the very soul of her former love.

At that point, Ethan pulled Mia into his arms and kissed her like she'd never been touched before. He was petting and soothing her as though she were a prized possession. Their contact lasted several minutes.

His touch awakened something in Mia, however. Something deep in her psyche. Before she could even think straight, my sister started kissing Ethan back with care and need. Their connection grew in intensity and length. There was magic in that boathouse. The sparks were crackling between them again.

If Jose only had a clue about their chemistry, he'd have intervened before the fateful kiss occurred.

When they finally paused for a breath, Mia looked as though she'd been run over with a rowboat.

"I do feel something for you, there's no doubt."

"That's a good sign, then. We still have the spark for one another. When we broke up, you told me that I was too focused on the material things in life. That's all changed for me. We could live very simply. Forget about my mother and all her baubles. I'd be ecstatic just to have you by my side, forever."

"Yeah, it's too bad we didn't have this conversation months ago. I guess I just wasn't ready for it then."

"Mia, you're wonderful. I love your energy and enthusiasm. I find you amazing in every way. I'm not Jose. He's wrong for you in so many ways. I think he's still in love with Ana. Did you happen to notice the way he looked her over during the course of this evening?"

"I did notice that he was checking her out a lot. In fact, I was a bit miffed about the attention he directed her way. So you noticed his inappropriate behavior too?"

"Of course. He'll always carry a torch for her. And I'll always carry one for you. I'll show you more affection than you ever dreamed possible. He doesn't love you. He's conflicted. Not the way I feel about you. Remember how much fun we had sailing on Christian's yacht? Going to those family fundraisers? Dancing with the best of them?"

"The good times we shared added a lot to my life, Ethan. I miss that."

"Me, too. Jose doesn't make you feel loved and wanted in the same way, does he?"

"I don't know, Ethan. Yes and no. If you want the truth, I'm a bit jealous of his feelings for Ana. I love him but it's not the same as the way I once felt for you."

"Then why let that slip away from us, Mia? At least consider the difference between your feelings for each of us. You don't have to marry him right away. What's the rush?"

"Maybe I can try to give you both a chance."

"That's all I'm really asking for. Take the time and think carefully about your heart and your future."

"What do you love about me Ethan?"

"You're so intense about the things you care about. It's as though you're obsessed with some inner voice. It's inspiring."

"That's who I am. When I'm on a mission that I care about, I go all out for it. It drives Jose crazy. He's a bit irritated with all my energy. And I'm a bit pissed with the way he goes on about Ana."

"Well, I find you endearing in all ways, Mia. It's hard to compete with your enthusiasm. He's probably a bit intimidated by your interests. I'm not though. I think we'll make a better team than whatever you have with him. Just think about your life with Jose, five years from now. I can give you so much more."

"Oh god. You're making me crazy Ethan. This is so difficult. I'm sorry if I made you feel rejected. I once felt very intensely about you, it's true."

"That can be true again. I bet you don't feel that intensely about Jose now."

"He's started withdrawing from me ever since Ana returned to town. I think he's not all that excited about marrying me anymore."

"That's because he doesn't really get you. I care more about you than he does."

"I don't think I'm ready to break my engagement off, yet. We need to talk about things. He's just confused now that she's back in shape again. I need to give him a chance. He's my fiancé after all."

"He started this whole mess between us. Jose took advantage of your PTSD state. But you're past that now. It's not too late for us. We can learn from the past."

"I want to be fair to him. I've got to let him know about what's just happened with me, and us."

"Fine. Just give me a chance to compete with Jose. You'll see that I'm the right choice."

"What if I decide we aren't right for one another?"

"You won't make that decision. I won't let you slip through my fingers again, Mia. I promise you that I've changed."

"Tell me about happened when we were apart. The women you dated. What were they like?"

"They were faces and bodies but the feeling and connection wasn't there. No one can replace you."

"How did you meet them? Did you make love to any of them?" Mia's face looked anxious as she asked her questions.

"I met them through some people at work and through Kate. The first one I dated was named Lauren. She was the total opposite of you and bored me to death. In the end, she wanted a lot more from me than I did from her."

"What does that mean, exactly?"

"We made love once or twice. I didn't find her interesting. She thought I was going to marry her."

"So you played with her emotions?" Mia sounded downright jealous of Lauren.

"Not really. One night we went to a party. I got a little high. She seduced me at her apartment. Before I knew better, we were making out on her couch. We fucked for a little while and I left."

"Are you telling me that you used and abused her?"

"I wanted sex but it didn't mean anything more than that. It was a basic instinct and a release. I thought she felt the same way. No strings attached. I was thinking about you the entire time."

"So she wanted you for a steady gig?"

"She claimed that she wanted to keep things casual but in truth, she wanted me as a regular in her life. The very idea of that relationship nauseated me."

"How did you break it off then?"

"I quit communicating with her. Lauren didn't accept that we were over. She kept finding ways to bump into me. It became difficult to avoid her. My Facebook and Twitter accounts were overwhelmed with her intrusions."

"So how did you finally get free?"

"I texted her with the truth. I said that we didn't mesh well. Then, I asked my sister to introduce me to someone new. That's when I met a girl from the BDSM club scene. She was wild. I let Lauren know that I was seeing another woman and I sent her a picture of us. The competition finally convinced her that I was serious. Some people just don't have a clue about when it's over."

"What happened with the girl from the club? Did you start getting excited about her and sex?"

"There was more of a spark between us but she was weird, in the end. All she wanted was kinky sex."

"I know a bit about what happens at these clubs. Kate told me some of what occurred with her."

"I hope you washed thoroughly after learning about them. I felt degraded after every visit."

"That's good to know because I could never go there. Especially after what Kate revealed about Mrs. Lincoln and her girls. It sounds so perverted."

"It didn't appeal to me in the end."

"Did you also have feelings for this BDSM woman?"

"Mia, please, it was humiliating enough to admit that we tried some kinky stuff at the club. Suffice it to say that the sex was exciting at first but really not my thing, after all."

"You tried it out, though. Just like your sister."

"Yeah, I was trying hard to get over you. It didn't work. Instead I was miserable for you. I learned more about my feelings for you. And that this woman wasn't you."

"Are you sure? Be honest with me, Ethan."

"Mia, what do you want from me? I tried to forget you but I was not able to do that. Remember, you broke it off with me and ran into Jose's waiting arms. What would you expect me of me? Sit home and cry in my beer?"

"I guess that's ridiculous to think you'd be pining away after me."

"I was pining away after you baby. I was sick with envy that you were dating Jose almost immediately after you told me I was a materialist. How do you think I felt about what happened between you and Ana's ex-boyfriend?"

"I was upset and confused. I was struggling with PTSD and trying to hold you at arm's length. I'm sorry for what I did to you, Ethan. If the situation were reversed, I'd have felt more than rejected. I just don't know what to do with Jose now. I do have strong feelings for him."

"Thanks for trying to examine your heart, Mia. At the moment, the ball's in your court. You have Jose Rodriguez wrapped around your ring finger and you're about to walk down the aisle with him. Are you really going to allow that to happen? You should have no doubts about your partner, when you marry."

"I care about you Ethan and want to see you again. But I also want to be with Jose. I'm such a mess."

"Mia, I'll fight for your love. Give me a chance again. I love you so damn much. Maybe I don't have all the Latin lover moves but I understand you more than Jose ever could. I've looked around a bit more and know, without a doubt, that I need you in my life. Forever. I'll show you how much you're adored, every day, for the rest of your life."

"You're a hopeless romantic, Ethan. I want you to feel appreciated and loved too. I care about you. What am I going to do about both you and Jose?"

"That's entirely up to you, Mia. Just know that I'm a patient man."

Ethan told her this just before he pulled my sister into his arms and felt her melting with emotion. His eyes were tearing up with love and joy. There was hope for him, yet.

**AN: Looks like Jose's in for a rough time. If she does end it, how should it happen?**


	24. Chapter 24: Blowback

**Ch. 24 Blowback**

When Ana and I emerged from my room, none other than Jose Rodriguez was wandering the hallway outside my bedroom. The look on his face could only be described as confused and angry. I was just a bit disturbed at his presumptuous behavior. After all, this area was private and typically off-limits to anyone other than immediate family members. He wasn't yet an official insider.

Ana stood by my side but said nothing. He looked into her face with a burning intensity. My arm was immediately around her shoulder.

"What are you doing up here, dude?"

Jose scowled before speaking. He ignored my question. "Where is she?"

"Have you looked outside?"

"Not yet, but I'm heading there next. Where could she have gone for an hour?"

"I can assure you, Mia is not in my bedroom."

"That's obvious, considering all the noise you two were making in there. Jeez, you need to get a grip, Grey."

"Don't be absurd, jerk. My private life is none of your concern. We're just getting reacquainted."

"Yeah, right."

"I thought you were concerned about your fiancé, not mine."

"I am. Where is she, dammit?"

"I'd try the boathouse out back. Get out there. Quickly."

With that, Jose was gone as though he'd been shot from a canon. I just hoped he wasn't going to find Mia in a compromising position with Ethan.

Ana was growing concerned for her friend. "Maybe we should help him find her, Christian."

"I don't think we want to get involved in that love triangle, angel. Let Mia work things out in her own way."

"Do you think she'll break off her engagement with Jose?"

"Knowing how she is, I'd say yes. For sure. And it wouldn't bother me one bit."

"That's only because you don't want him around me. It's your own wishful thinking that's working overtime now."

"Not only that, baby. It seems as though Mia isn't into Jose all that much. Not the way she was around Ethan. And certainly not the way I feel about you. The chemistry's off with Mia and Jose."

"Poor Jose. I hope she lets him down easy."

"Don't go fretting about him. He probably still jacks off to pictures of you on his phone."

"Christian. That's just so gross. Please don't go there. I think Jose's totally over me."

"Really? Then you didn't notice the way he was checking you out during Thanksgiving dinner. Even Mia was rolling her eyes when she noticed the way he tipped his chair back to look you over this afternoon. I don't trust the guy myself."

"You're hardly objective where I'm concerned. Don't worry, you have nothing to worry about. I'm so gob smack in love with you, it's ridiculous."

Then Ana pulls my face to hers and kisses me for reassurance. The kiss conveys all her intensity and mine. That's exactly what I needed to feel. She knows me so well.

"Your mine. Only mine."

"That's right, Christian."

Then we walk downstairs, hand in hand, to rejoin the family. They're still fussing over Kate and the baby, thank goodness.

Just as we're about to take our leave and head back to Escala, otherwise known as the love nest, we hear shouting and cursing from the back door of the house.

It's Jose's voice that we notice first. It's filled with anger and anxiety.

"What the hell are you doing here anyway, Kavanaugh?"

Mia, Ethan and Jose come storming through the back door together. Kate's shushing them since Ashley's just gone down for a nap.

Ethan lowers his voice to a rasp. "I was invited by Mia's mother. I'm an uncle now."

Jose's whispering now too. "Isn't that convenient? You could have declined the invite and left us in peace. Instead you came here to start putting the moves on my girl again."

Mia jumps into the fray then. "We had some unfinished business to discuss."

"Hopefully, you put a lid on it then. Let's get out of here. Now." Jose reaches for Mia's hand but she retracts hers. He looks totally stunned at her behavior. The light's just clicked on in his head that something's gone down and it's big. He's studying her closely now.

Ethan's shouting again. "Not so fast, Rodriguez. No one's leaving until I've had my say. Mia and I had a long talk about our situation. She's got something to tell you."

"This day is unbelievable." The look on Jose's face is one of absolute anguish.

Mia clears her throat to speak. "I'm feeling confused, Jose."

She's twisting her engagement ring around her finger and moving from one foot to the next as she looks into his face. He's staring at her as though she's a lunatic.

"OK, Mia, let me have it. Are you going to break up with me over some unresolved feelings you have for Ethan Kavanaugh?"

"Let's go outside Jose. This is not the place to discuss our issues. Why don't we go to the boathouse?"

"Hell, no. If you've got something to say to me about our future, I want you to tell me the truth, in front of your whole damn family." His voice has reached full power by now.

Ashley's begun crying at this point. Kate takes her into another wing of the house in disgust. Elliott follows along like a supervisor.

Mia's giving Jose a pouty look. "I'm not sure there's any decision yet."

"WHAT?" Jose's voice has gone from angry to shocked and appalled.

"OK. Here's the situation…Ethan and I still have feelings for one another. I'm in love with both of you."

Jose looks as though he's about to collapse from the revelation that Mia's just unleashed. "I don't believe you. If you're not sure about us and our marriage, right now, I'm outta here."

"Stop being such a fool. You're just making things worse than they need to be."

My sister says this while stomping her foot.

"I don't think so. Maybe I'm the realist here. You were doing more than just talking in that boathouse from the looks of your hair and makeup."

The blush on Mia's face and her mortified attempt to smooth her hair reveals her guilt. She looks at Ethan for help. The smile of satisfaction on his face doesn't do anything but enrage Jose further.

"Fuck you, both. Our engagement is off. You can let everyone know that. You two-timing little…" That's when I step forward in an attempt to intervene. No one's going to attack members of my family in their own home. Especially my little sister.

"Jose. Don't start insulting my sister. Just give her some space. You're not married to her, yet."

He looks at me with nothing but contempt.

"I'd say our marriage is off as of right now. I'm not going to be some pansy for her. Not the way I was with Ana and you."

"That's a relief. I couldn't stand the thought of you as my brother in law."

"As for you, Christian, I'm getting a bit tired of your power plays. For all I know, you've sent your sister into the clutches of her ex, just to keep me away from your girl. Are you really that threatened by me?"

The hiss coming from him indicates disgust as well as anger.

"I'm protecting my little sister. Don't start verbally abusing her. By the way, we all noticed you ogling my wife during the dinner. You've still got feelings for Anastasia."

"I was watching her body language. She's got it for you, alright. Which is a mystery to me."

"You got that right. We're a couple again. Keep your eyes off of her."

"You don't have to tell me who I can and cannot ogle, Grey. We all get that the two of you are hot for each other again. Unfortunately."

"What's it to you?"

"Just this. You came into my life and took whatever you wanted from me. I'd spent years building a relationship with Ana. You used your money, looks and power to take it all away in a few weeks. Now you're doing the same with other members of your family. You think you're some sort of Master of the Universe. You sick pervert."

My immediate reaction to his insult is to grab Rodriguez by the scruff of his neck and shove him against the wall. The twerp.

"Don't you dare go there. I had nothing to do with Mia and Ethan. Anastasia's the love of my life. She's never had the hots for you."

"Really? You could have fooled me. Things were going so well before you came on the scene. We'd be married by now if you hadn't shown up, asshole. By the way, your precious little sister was a poor second to her."

He stares at me and then Mia with a flippant look on his face.

Jose tried to kick me in the groin next. I anticipated his move by flipping him around with a wrestling move I'd learned in high school. He was on the floor and under my knee before he could do any damage. There was nothing but pure adrenaline shooting through my veins. He was all muscle. I had no trouble holding him down though. Everyone in the room was looking at me with fear and anticipation.

During our scuffle, his smart phone came flying out of his shirt pocket. A picture of my woman was on the screen display. I growled with a jealousy that was so intense I had the brief impulse to smash his face in.

Grace came on the scene then with her hand on her hip and a look of dread on her face. Carrick walked behind her with a grimace on his. I loosened my choke hold on Jose immediately.

"I think it's time for Jose to leave, Christian. Let him go, now. Ana will you please take my son home before someone gets seriously hurt here?"

"Of course," her voice shook with feeling while she pulled me up by the hand.

I stood up and brushed myself off. Ana wrapped herself around me like a taco. Jose looked at me as though he'd like to rip me in two. Then his eyes found Mia's.

"We're through, bitch."

"Jose, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to end it this way. I'm so embarrassed about what happened."

"Sure. Sure. You're like all the other Greys. Loyal until the end to your first love. I'm so outta here and totally done with this family."

Mia took in a quick breath. She was stunned by his rash talk and behavior.

With that, he turned his back on the group and marched himself in the direction of his car. I actually felt a bit bad for him. The guy had been completely humiliated. Not only did he admit that he still cared for my wife, he also revealed his preference for Ana over Mia. I suspected the truth all along. My sister was being used. Jerk, plus.

Ethan was more than happy to give her solace though. They were already holding one another close with relief. Jose's inappropriate outburst pushed her clearly into Ethan's corner. That, and the feelings he still felt for my wife. Mia would never forgive him for publicly declaring his preference in front of our entire family. Kavanaugh was obviously grateful for the chance to have Mia back in his care.

"I'm sorry mom, dad. The guy's just a manipulator. It's better that we found out about Jose before the wedding. He was probably using Mia to get to my Anastasia."

Mia nods her head with enthusiasm and then sobs a bit. Things have shifted so quickly in her life that we're all in shock. Maybe the wedding can still take place. We'll just replace the groom with someone new.

"Look at your suit, Christian. It's stained with dirt and sweat."

Grace tells me this while giving me a stern look. I guess she's never seen me in action. The moves I used today are the same ones I practice with my trainer on a weekly basis. They were nearly automatic tonight and I executed them with ease.

At least I didn't hurt Rodriguez physically. Psychologically, he's probably a total wreck. Maybe I should have John Flynn give him some EMDR therapy. He's going to feel like hell tomorrow.

"Just protecting my family. We'll say goodbye to everyone now and then we're off."

She gives me a smile that's truly filled with pride. Carrick pats me on the back. "Thanks, son."

I make my way into the family room to wish my grandparents and the Kavanaughs goodnight. Things have changed so quickly tonight that we're all a bit subdued. Ana's looking alternately embarrassed and relieved. No one knows quite what to say. Good evening seems about all we're capable of uttering.

Once we're in the car, my heart beat starts returning to baseline.

"I'm sorry that I got so physical with Mia's ex."

"It's okay, Christian. I think Jose was trying to yank your chain with all that he told you."

"I'm sure he was. I'm just damn glad the truth came out about his motives before he became a permanent part of our family. He's always held a torch for you, baby. There's no denying it now."

"I can't believe what he said to Mia. That was uncalled for and really cruel."

"He was hurting. It was obvious that she'd been making out with Ethan in the boathouse. Once he's had a chance to process everything that went down tonight, Jose will regret most of what he said."

"I hope so. He was acting so different tonight that I hardly recognized him as my former friend. I don't think he really meant half of what he said."

"Of course he did. He was ogling you throughout the dinner. Jose's obsessed with you."

"I'm so embarrassed about what he said to Mia about preferring me to her. That's just wrong."

"The way I see it is this: He wanted to marry Mia to be close to you. He was still looking at pictures of you on his phone for god's sake. What a punk he turned out to be."

"He's not the man I used to know, that's for sure. I hope Mia isn't too distressed."

"Ethan will help her recover from any distress in a hurry. By the way, do you think you'd have married Jose, if I hadn't come along to knock your socks off?"

"Hmmm. I doubt it. I never felt the flutters for him. Besides, I was in no hurry to have a serious relationship."

"Until I showed up and gave you a reason to change your agenda."

"Christian, you more than rocked my world. It was not just an agenda that you changed. It was everything."

"Do tell." I say this while smiling from ear to ear and kissing her hand. I love to be affirmed by my girl.

"I was gah-gah over you from the moment we first spoke. It was hard not to think of you nearly every moment after we met. You moved me in a way that shook me to the core. I'd never wanted anyone in a sexual way before we met. I felt like a hussy after we started making love. I couldn't get enough of you."

"Hussy. What a strange word that one happens to be. You felt that way because we were meant to be together. It was destiny that drove us into the other's orbit. I felt obsessed by you too."

"Now, all I want to do is spend the rest of my life spinning around you."

"Same here. You sent me into another galaxy. But I won't rest until we're a complete family."

"We have years to make a family. Let's enjoy our time together as a couple for now."

"Let's go home and work on our family plans. Tonight."

"Christian, I'm on the pill. It's not going to happen right away. Settle down."

"Damn. That's a shame. Just know that I'm a changed man ever since you were kidnapped by the psycho. Changed for the better, that is. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I need my family around me. That means you and our children."

"I'm happy to know that. There's no doubt that I'd like to have at least a couple of children with you. You'll be so sick of diapers and tantrums and crying jags that you'll wish for the good old days soon enough."

"I seriously doubt that. My fondest wish is to get you pregnant."

"There's no reason to think that can't happen in a few years. We already know that I'm capable of getting in the family way very easily around you. Just give me a little more time to heal. Then, I'll be on board with the baby making business in a big way."

"Yes, ma'am. Until then, we need to practice."

Ana giggled in a way that let me know she wanted it as much as I did. A naughty way. I can't begin to tell you how pleased my favorite body part happened to be with her response.

**AN: Happy Holidays Everyone! Thanks for reading and commenting. You're such a great group of FF readers. Hope your time with family over the next week or so is wonderful! Take care. JS Luxor**


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